


Space Dust

by clefairysoup



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Asexual Lance, Crack, Emotional Baggage, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, POV Alternating, Psychological Torture, Torture, allura is an adult in this, also hey lance is asexual, bc i didnt ask for the creators to be dumb like that, but its important that u all know this, galras are meanies, i edited that one part so ha, its not gonna get talked about really so whatever, keith is so so afraid, lance is so so sad, plus it isnt even noticeable so who cares but just so u know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 07:36:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 60,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8241488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clefairysoup/pseuds/clefairysoup
Summary: Keith had the displeasure of learning a bit more about his heritage, and is dead set on hiding this new information from the rest of team Voltron. The only problem seems to be Lance, who isn't quite acting like himself, and is orbiting Keith like a lost moon. Nevermind the repeated sacrificing himself for Keith in the midst of battle... Does Lance value his life at all?Lance wonders what makes himself think he could even have a sliver of a chance with Keith, pilot extraordinaire and the temperamental red paladin of Voltron. Struggling with insecurities he's been hiding for years, Lance straightens his "funny guy" mask and attempts to fix the weird ridge he's made between them. Noticing, in the process, that Keith seems to have changed rather drastically... Has the damage already been done?





	1. Keith Kogane

**Author's Note:**

> ayyyyy its ya girl cee (clefaiiryy.tumblr.com) im back from the graveee
> 
> A FEW NOTES: i have a job so updating is gonna be spotty at best, let alone me carving out time to actually keep writing. and i still need to work on driving so thats also a hitch, but!! i think it'll be fiiiiine... maybe
> 
> enjoy!

It was a numbness, a fuzzy kind of feeling, like he was in a dark place with no edges or corners and closing his eyes only enhanced the emptiness that expanded from his chest. His breath came ragged, small pants to compliment a pounding, deafening heartbeat. Keith took a chance and glanced down at himself, not even sure if he was a corporal being in this… place… wherever he was. Hell? Limbo? 

 

Did it even matter.

 

Keith could make out the outline of his paladin suit in the darkness, relieved that he seemed to still be in once piece. The battle had been… Keith could recall how the planet’s surface was slathered in blood and how it seemed to blend in with the dusty red dirt. There had been more galra than Allura had initially thought, and it was evident that the distress call had been a trap. The planet’s royals had been taken hostage, used as bait, then discarded with the rest of the… casualties. 

 

A roar of battle cries and the sound of clashing metal overcame Keith’s senses as he replayed the scene in his mind. They hadn’t taken their lions, too wary of the convenience of that just-in-time call for help. The pod ship they’d taken was hidden, and they traversed the alien terrain on foot. The planet was near desolate; dwellings caved in and rotting, obvious farmlands dry and barren, the greenery seemingly dying of thirst though the clouds hung heavy with unfallen rain. Shiro had noticed the kicked in doorways and signs of struggles in the settlement, so the team had been on their guard. 

 

It was a cheap tactic, a surprise attack. A lone inhabitant of the planet, looking terrified and half starved, stood in an open area, cowering before the approaching paladins of Voltron. Shiro signalled for the team to stop while he continued forward with caution. He had called out to the creature, softly, quietly, urging it to come quickly and promising protection. The creature had cried again and then there were hands around Keith’s throat. 

 

They were cold, hairy. Purple. 

 

Naturally though, Team Voltron is not easily overpowered. Keith broke free of the vice grip around his neck and tore through the galran soldier’s chest with his bayard, watching him drop motionless. Hunk and Pidge stood back to back, each having fended off their own attackers and focusing then on stopping the inevitable incoming. Lance aimed his bayard rifle calmly through the thick, foreign foliage, another soldier dead at his feet. Shiro’s arm was alight and activated, eyes narrowed as they waited. 

The galra wasted no time in showing off their superior numbers. They burst out of the houses and revealed themselves from behind the plant life, and the attack commenced. 

 

Keith shivered. It was cold here… At some point, Shiro called for a tactical retreat. Pidge nearly had their head blown off when Hunk scooped them up with ease and started for the pod ship. In his helmet, he could hear Allura frantically assuring the wormhole jump was ready when they were, they just had to get to the ship. 

But… Keith watched as his memory glitched and flickered. Something had happened… hadn’t it? 

 

_ “Keith!” _ And he was shoved roughly to the side, hearing a sickening squelch and feeling something wet spatter on his cheek. He looked up and saw eyes like a storm, a smirk that could only be described as cocky and lopsided, a bright patch of red on blue armor... 

 

_ No… _ Again, the vision blurred and cut out, stuck in a loop of Lance’s eyes, wide with pain, Lance’s voice, cracked and hollow to Keith’s ears, Lance’s blood, wet and fresh on his cheek and flowing eagerly to the ground..

 

The image cracked, and Keith screamed.

 

He remembered the claws. 

 

He’d howled hadn’t he? When they tore free from his fingertips and bared themselves beneath the armored gloves, pushing against the metal painfully. Keith could feel his heart pumping fast, inhumanely fast, and he remembered how his eyes drank in the surroundings. Enemies in front and behind, fellow paladins spotted throughout the fray as they still struggled with the retreat. 

 

Lance. 

Lance, crumpled beneath him, blood staining his armor, a stupid smirk still locked on his face. He’d taken a body swipe of a sword meant for Keith, he’d pushed him out of the way as if it were nothing. They’d locked eyes for only a second, Lance smiling tight as if to stop the trickles of blood from streaming from past his lips and down his chin. Keith’s world stopped when Lance’s eyes went glassy and he fell. His ragdoll form curled in front of him set something off, a spark that ignited a terribly cold fire. 

 

Keith remembered growling, his suit suddenly feeling too tight, his helmet too small. His insides were screaming, his head was screaming, all he wanted to do was scream. His body felt oddly lighter, though his blood roaring through his ears deafened him. Shiro must have yelled for him, he could see his strained face out of the corner of his eye, but Keith didn’t dare move from where he hovered over the blue paladin. He could see the galra approaching, swords drawn, guns raised, ready to finish what they started. Ready to finish Lance.  _ Lance. _

 

And the dark walls fell around him, and Keith felt his stomach lurch as he scrambled for something, anything to keep him here, to keep him  _ alive-- _

 

With a jolt, Keith was awake, sweat beading across his brow and trickling in streams down his back. His eyesight blurred slowly into focus, the castle’s stark white walls and ceiling coming into view. He sluggishly dragged a hand across the sweaty sheets before reaching up to his head, feeling his hair. That hadn’t happened… it was just a nightmare. Pulling away, he studied the back of his hand, eyes widening as small patches of purple fur dotted around his wrist and palm. His mind was a flurry of worries and thoughts and emotions and confusion. He sat up and ripped the sheets back, staring at his pale legs slowly gain a purple tinge in places, like he were suddenly bruising. 

 

The soreness in his muscles then… the tightness, how he felt as if he were coiled up in a body too small to contain him. The memories of heightened senses, the smell of  _ blood _ \--

 

Keith flew out of his bed, casting a quick glance to the clock on the small bedside table. Pidge managed to rig up a few clocks to be coordinated with time on Earth, as if it would make floating out millions of lightyears away in the vastness of space in the middle of an intergalactic war more… comfortable. 

It was 4:00AM. Keith drew in a deep breath and sighed. It was too early for anyone to be awake yet, which was good. 

After taking a few moments to calm himself, he took a quick shower and got changed, cringing as he found more violet spots growing across his body. His clothes, thankfully, covered most of them. His gloves left only a tiny opening on the back of his hand where one could peek and  _ maybe _ see the small tufts of fur there. But only if they were  _ really _ looking for it. 

Keith’s hair felt… softer, and maybe it was faded purple just a touch at the edges, but it wasn’t enough for anyone to really notice. Though, for safety’s sake, Keith had stolen one of Lance’s cream colored hoodies and threw that on over his usual black tee. Just… in case. Thank quiznak his ears appeared their normal, rounded shape. 

 

The red paladin glanced at his reflection in the mirror. He looked… haggard. He felt completely wiped after yesterday, after he’d… after… he… 

 

_ Lance was in danger, _ he told himself roughly, feeling the hair (or fur, possibly) on the back of his neck bristle.  _ I couldn’t help it… I didn’t know…  _

 

To be fair, he’d had his suspicions after his run in with the druid. But somehow he knew that she hadn’t done this to him, she’d just… woken it up. 

 

Most of the mission had ended in a hazy blur in Keith’s mind. Keith had gone… berserk. He must’ve taken out at least ten galra soldiers on his own before he was hit with a wave of  _ exhaustion _ . He had fragmented memories of Shiro and Hunk gathering him and Lance and retreating back to the ship. Shiro said something, Hunk looked beyond terrified, and Keith could just make out Lance’s face once they were on board and sprawled onto the alien version of a gurney. 

His eyes were closed, and his lips were caked with dried blood. Somehow, he still looked like he was smirking, however painfully. Keith made a whining sound in the back of his throat before being enveloped in black.  

 

Keith again rubbed his hands over his face to steady himself. As far as he knew, no one had seen him, right? His armor covered all of him, so they couldn’t have unless they were looking through his visor… He swallowed, suddenly feeling queasy. Did Hunk see? Did… oh god, did Shiro?

 

His anxiety spiked when he felt his teeth  _ ache _ . Poking a finger inside, Keith winced as he cut himself on a newly sharpened incisor. As gingerly as he could, he licked the wound until it stopped bleeding. The taste of his own blood was horrible and sharp, a stinging copper flavor that made him cringe. 

 

The sudden banging on his door made him jump, and he could  _ feel _ his hair poof up like a frightened cat. 

 

He hurriedly ran his fingers over his head, flattening down what he could. “Who--” god, his voice sounded  _ awful _ . He cleared his throat. “Um… wh-who is it?”

 

He heard the unmistakable sounds of Shiro chuckling to himself on the other side before, “It’s me, Keith. Are you okay? Lance should be waking up soon, you should come be with us when he does.” 

 

Lance.  _ Lance. _

It was as if Shiro said the magic word to snap him out of a hypnotic trance yet set off all Keith’s inner alarm bells at once. He gave himself the once over. He was good, right? No purple skin or fur in sight? And he could just avoid saying very much to keep anyone from catching sight of his apparent shark teeth… 

 

He had to. He had to see Lance. This was partially his fault anyway, wasn’t it? … Yea. Keith fought the image of Lance’s crumpled, bleeding form out of his head. He’s fine, he’s waking up soon, Shiro said so… He grit his new teeth, knowing that if he had the ears they’d be drooped, and he’d be the perfect image of a guilt-ridden galra. 

 

“...Keith?” 

 

Keith started, gathering himself the best he could before resting a gloved hand on the panel beside the door, watching it swoosh open to reveal a worried Shiro. 

 

“Sorry, I--” His tongue felt heavy in his mouth.  _ What? I werewolfed my way into becoming a  _ galra _ , known alien criminals dead set on taking over the universe? No. _ “I.. uh, I just--”

 

Shiro held up his hands to silence him. “It’s okay, it’s really early. I understand if you weren’t fully awake yet. We just wanted the whole team to be there, if that’s alright?” 

 

Keith hesitated. Shiro’s casual, relaxed smile and general openness meant he hadn’t  _ seen _ , right? Not… when it happened? He couldn’t have, or he wouldn’t be treating him… like this. 

 

“Right,” Keith managed out, tugging on the ends of the hoodie. It was a little big on him. And comfy. “O-okay.” 

 

Shiro smiled again, warmly, as they started walking down the hall, toward the med bay. “Isn’t that Lance’s?” He asked innocently, eyes glinting with a sort of mischievousness that Keith wasn’t sure he wanted to know more about.

 

He tripped, but ignored his graceful reaction, sputtering. “N-No! It’s.. uh, mine.”  _ So what if it is, what do you care!  _

 

The black paladin merely grinned and gave him a shrug, holding his hands behind his back as they continued on. 

 

Keith suddenly felt himself tense. Would.. Would Lance even want to see him? I mean, he was being reckless on the battlefield and he knew it, and Lance had to dive in to save his sorry ass, but… It was sort of his fault, getting hurt that badly. 

Well not  _ too _ badly, since the healing pods made quick work of it overnight, but that had to leave some kind of scar, maybe not physical… And now with his “problem?” Would Lance want to see the face of the kind who fatally wounded him?

Keith shivered, thinking how anyone from team Voltron would react. 

 

Allura and Coran would be heartbroken and devastated, seeing their greatest enemy, the species that killed their entire planet, was secretly a paladin all along. Pidge would never talk to him again, not after the galra-- Keith’s  _ kind _ \-- kidnapped and imprisoned their father and brother. Hunk… God, Keith didn’t want to ever know what that would look like on Hunk’s face, the betrayal. It would break him.. Shiro  _ definitely _ didn’t deserve this, and Lance.. 

Keith swallowed, torturing himself with the image of Lance wearing a sickened scowl, distancing himself from his teammate. He could see it so clearly, he could hear his voice too, he watched as the entire team pushed Keith into one of the castle’s prison cells and left him there… 

 

“..eith? Keith, you with me buddy?” 

 

Shiro most likely wasn’t expecting Keith to jump backward at his gentle touch, especially not  _ that far back _ . Keith made a yelping sound and leapt backward at least a couple feet. He ignored the fuzzy static that now surged just under his skin, taking a deep breath before looking up at Shiro, who was watching with concerned eyes. 

_ Oh, please don’t look at me right now-- _

 

“Woah, what was that about?” 

Keith coughed, fighting to relax his shoulders and to keep his gaze steady. “Sorry, I’m just…nervous?” 

Shiro gave a small smile. “Is that a question?” 

“Ah.. no.”

 

Shiro let Keith walk back to him before continuing on at a slower pace. “Is it about Lance?” The genuine desire to help was smothering, but Keith had regained his composure and decided he could trust Shiro with at least one of the issues plaguing his mind. 

 

“Yes,” he let it out in a sigh. “It’s kinda my fault he’s in there to begin with. If I had just kept a level head, kept my guard up--”

“Keith, you can’t change the past. Though, I agree you do need to stop going off on your own in a fight. We’re a team, and we need to fight as one.” His leader voice made Keith nod stiffly. Then it dropped back into a friendly tone. “But we also can’t change Lance’s hothead when it comes to sacrificing himself for others. The only reason I’m the one holding the record for that team building training is because Lance keeps diving into shots aimed at me and getting swallowed by the floor.” 

 

Keith grinned. Yea, Lance was an idiot. A stupidly noble idiot. That made him feel marginally better. 

 

“But,” Shiro continued. “If we fight as a team, he won’t have to sacrifice himself.” He gave Keith a knowing look. 

 

He rolled his eyes. “Okay, okay, fine.” 

 

They turned a corner, the med bay slowly coming into view when Shiro asked: “How much do you remember from yesterday anyway? You were pretty out of it when we brought you back.”

 

Keith felt his blood freeze, praying to whatever almighty alien goddess that his shock hadn’t registered on his face. “O-Oh? Um… I remember up until passing out in the pod.” Shiro studied his expression, as if determining how truthful that statement was, then nodded. 

 

“Well, when we finally got you on the ship, you were shaking pretty badly. Hunk and I tugged you out of your suit--” Keith’s heart stopped.  _ No… oh god, please.  _ “--and were about to stuff you into a healing pod when your eyes suddenly shot open and you pushed yourself away from us. Of course, you immediately collapsed, but Allura and Coran figured if you weren’t completely comatose than a healing pod wouldn’t be necessary.” 

 

_ OH thank god. _ “A-ah, no, I don’t remember that…” Keith rubbed the back of his head. Maybe he hit it hard when he collapsed for the second time.. 

 

Shiro shook his head. “Oh, no, I didn’t mean to worry you. We can have Coran run a test if you want, make sure you’re fully recovered.” Though phrased like a suggestion, Keith heard the underlying, concerned demand and nodded again, nibbling on his lip. The scanner hadn’t picked up on his…  _ issue _ before, right? So it shouldn’t be a problem…

 

He swallowed. “Uh, yea, maybe..” 

 

Hunk and Pidge were already in the med bay when they arrived, Pidge fiddling with their laptop and occasionally slapping away Hunk’s reaching hand. Allura stood by the pod, tapping her long fingers on the screen, muttering to herself in presumably Altean. 

She glanced up at their entrance, and Shiro lifted his human arm in a wave. Allura narrowed her eyes at the gesture, unsure what to make of it, and returned to her screen with a small sigh. Shiro dropped his hand quickly, looking supremely embarrassed. (Which, Keith had to say, was kind of nice to see from their leader.)

 

“Paladins, you’re here at last,” she looked to the healing pod. “Lance is almost ready to wake up. His vitals are completely normal and his physical state appears to be well, though be gentle as always, as precaution.”

 

Keith followed her gaze to the pod. The frost that had settled over the inside of the glance obscured Lance from view slightly, though his tanned skin had no issue standing out. He looked so… still. His eyes didn’t move behind his closed lids, but the faint puff of breath fogging the glass put Keith at ease somewhat. Though, why was he nervous? Lance had been in the pod before and he hadn’t felt this way, right? Of course he would be fine… right.

 

Pidge scrunched up their nose like they did when they were thinking hard, fingers flying over the keyboard. “I’ve taken it upon myself to upgrade the healing pods with a more human knowledge of medicine and medical practices. Though, the Altean medicine seems to be just as efficient if not better, but it never hurts to widen our range when it comes to meds and cures.” 

 

Hunk nodded in agreement. “It’d be nice to get some claritin for allergy season.”

 

Pidge squared Hunk with a look, “There are no seasons in space.” Hunk shrugged, poking at the keys on the laptop while Pidge wasn’t looking. At the same time, Allura tapped her chin thoughtfully, mumbling to herself, “Allergies…?” She looked to Shiro for some sort of explanation, and he gladly jumped into giving it, a small smile on his face. 

 

Keith played with the loose strings on the sleeves of Lance’s--  _ his--  _ hoodie, nerves getting to him despite the mantra of ‘stay calm stay calm stay calm’ playing on loop in his head. Was he worried about Lance’s well being or getting find out? ...Both? Quiznak, Lance was going to  _ hate _ him… this was partially his fault anyway, if he had just been paying more attention, if he hadn’t gotten separated from the group-- and if Lance figures out he risked his life for a  _ galra?! _

  
_ He won’t _ , Keith drew in a deep breath, watching as the frost in the healing pod began to recede and Lance’s eyelids flutter.  _ Because he’s not gonna find out… I’m not going to let him.. _


	2. Lance McClain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ; w; the support from u guys is killing me i dont want to disappoint u oh god
> 
> **YO MY LAPTOP BATTERY IS FRIED AND I WONT GET A NEW ONE UNTIL THE END OF THE WEEK IM SO SORRY UPDATING AND WRITING HAVE BEEN PUT OFF UNTIL I CAN LIKE... DO THAT ; ^;

The ice tickled as it retreated from Lance’s form, the healing pod slowly ebbing the life back into him until he opened his eyes. 

 

_ Ugh _ . The stiffness in his bones told him he’d been in there for awhile. The glass doors hissed and slid apart, and Lance took a wobbly step out, his muscles deciding to give in, leaving him to sprawl into the arms of-- Was that his hoodie?

 

Keith made a huffing sound as Lance struggled to regain his footing and stand up properly. His body still felt weak after healing itself, so the slight trembling to his hands as he kept his balance was to be expected.. Still, Lance felt a pang of guilt. If they were to get swarmed right now, he’d be completely useless. 

 

“Ah, Keith,” Lance said, clearing his throat. His voice, however, betrayed his concern. “Are you…?”

 

Keith made a face, clearly confused by the question. The blue paladin attempted eye contact, but Keith only went red and hurriedly looked away. “Am I what, Lance?” He grumbled.

 

Lance blinked. Was.. was he serious? Judging by the glare in his eye, yea, Keith was totally for real right now.  _ What. _

 

“Um, last I saw, you were surrounded by bloodthirsty purple chinchillas, so what do you mean ‘am I what?’ Are you  _ okay? _ What happened after I--”

“After you stupidly threw yourself onto a sword in the middle of a fight?”

“--AFTER I heroically saved you, you’re welcome  _ Keith _ .” 

 

Keith made another huffing sound and looked away, and Lance swallowed down the girlish squeal that threatened to burst out of his mouth. So, yea, he knew he had a bit of a “crush” on Keith, and he thought it was kind of really super cute whenever he gets annoyed and huffy and Lance secretly revels in his ability to cause that reaction BUT… he also knew that Keith couldn’t possibly return his affections… 

 

_ Heh, yea right. The greatest pilot the garrison has ever seen falling for what? A cargo pilot…? _

 

“Lance?” 

Lance blinked, pulling himself back to reality and staring back at a worried looking Shiro. 

“Lance, how are you feeling?” Shiro’s smile was easy and comforting, as it always is. Lance found himself feeling more grounded than before because of it, and he nodded with a grin. 

 

“I feel fantastic! C’mon, nothing can keep  _ me _ down for long, Shiro, you know that!” Shiro chuckled, turning to Coran to hear the specifics of Lance’s time in the healing pod. Meanwhile, Keith looked… uncomfortable. 

 

Lance took a step toward him, unsure. He could remember the battle pretty clearly, and he remembered… He had to talk to Keith, at least just to be sure. 

 

“Keith, buddy, listen--”

“LANCE!”

 

Hunk’s weight crushed the rest of the sentence from Lance’s lips as he kept his grip on the blue paladin firm. Pidge set their laptop aside with a small smile, opting to give Lance’s arm a sharp jab instead of a hug. 

 

Lance huffed out a gasp that was meant to be Hunk’s name, and the yellow paladin thankfully understood and loosened his hold a tad. 

 

“I’m so glad you’re back, man!” Hunk exclaimed with bright eyes. Pidge, meanwhile, rolled theirs. “It’s barely been 24 hours..” they muttered, despite now playing with the sleeve of Lance’s shirt. 

 

Hunk guffawed. “What, a guy can’t miss his best bro within that time?” 

Lance, after a few deep breaths, put a hand dramatically against his chest. “Aw, Hunk, buddy, I missed you too!” He chuckled. Once he was entirely free, he ruffled Pidge’s hair affectionately and dodged their playful swatting with a bark of laughter.

 

“Alright, alright, settle down.” Shiro squared Lance with a soft, stern look. “Lance, we need to ta--”

 

“Oh, sure thing boss man! Let me just, ah,” Lance gestured to the skin tight garb that came with a stay in the cryo pod. “I mean, I reek.” He rubbed the back of his neck timidly, ignoring how Hunk’s eyes narrowed at the gesture. 

Shiro blinked, surprised, before he let out a small sigh and shrugged. “Yea, go shower up. But meet me in the common room after, okay?” 

 

Already taking a few steps backward toward the exit, Lance grinned and gave a thumbs up. Pidge elbowed Hunk in the side and began whispering when he leaned down to their level. Allura wore a pensive expression, and she traded looks with a concerned looking Coran. And Keith… 

 

_ No. We’re not thinking about Keith.. _ He looked worried. Confused. Almost… scared? Lance shifted his body around, beelining out of the med bay.  _ Pft. Scared. Yea, right. Not for me. _

 

The thought made him grimace. Did he really have to remind himself? 

 

“Oh and Lance!” 

 

Lance froze, tossing his gaze behind him to Allura’s. The princess seemed to study his eyes for a moment before smiling brightly. 

 

“Be prepared for another rigorous training session tomorrow!” 

Lance forced a smile. “Sure thing, princess.” And quickened his pace, not caring who notices. 

 

Once down the hallway a safe amount, Lance slows to a walk, rubbing his upper arms and shivering. He knew what Shiro wanted to talk about, they’d only been talking about it  _ every time _ Lance pops free of the popsicle pod. Honestly, he was tired of the conversation, he was just  _ tired _ … 

 

-

_ “Lance,” Shiro kept his voice steady as he watched the blue paladin spar with the gladiator. He was very clearly losing, and seemingly worn out, but despite that, Lance ignored Shiro and kept on the attack. The gladiator, level 6, -- too high for Lance-- defended with ease, countering and striking at every opportunity and hitting every single hit.  _

 

_ “End training sequence.” Shiro ordered after spending another minute watching Lance get beat. The Cuban shot him a glare, but Shiro only frowned and waved with his hand for him to join him on the bench off to the side. He watched the boy huff with frustration, hanging up his weapon and dragging his feet to Shiro. _

 

_ Lance sat down gracelessly, sinking and slouching with a grumble. “What?”  _

_ Shiro sighed, resigned. “Lance.. You’re overworking yourself--” _

_ “It’s called ‘training’, actually.” Lance interrupted. After a second of silence, he shook his head, mumbling. “’m sorry.” _

 

_ Shiro nodded. “It’s alright. You’re on edge. Though, I don’t know why, just like I don’t know why the last three missions have ended with you throwing yourself in front of someone else and getting seriously hurt because of it.”  _

_ Lance turned his head away. “Just a few brusies…”  _

_ “Lance, you’ve broken three ribs, your hand, and seriously cracked your collarbone all within these last few weeks  _ alone. _ ”  _

 

_ Lance stiffened, arms crossing and turning to face Shiro, blue eyes blazing. “What, then? I’m supposed to let my teammates get hurt--” _

_ “Nobody said that, Lance. Your armor has a small shield module on the wrists that can withstand the blows you’ve been taking yourself… Besides that, you have your bayard. And I know you're a sure shot, you’d never accidentally hit one of us so--” _

 

_ “What if I miss?”  _

 

_ The black paladin paused, looking Lance over carefully. Arms still crossed, eyes cast down… Lance looked very.. un-Lance like. Guarded. Caged.  _

 

_ “Okay..” Shiro said slowly, watching Lance’s expression carefully. “What if?”  _

 

_ The boy swallowed. He drew in a slow, deep breath, and replied in almost a whisper.  _

 

_ “And what if.. What if someone else gets hurt because I wasn’t fast enough on the draw? Because I took to long to aim, or I choke and botch the shot, or there was more than one threat and I take out one but I didn’t see the oth--” _

 

_ Lance jumped at the sudden warmth on his arm, flicking his eyes to Shiro with an apology on his lips. He shouldn’t be talking about this really, it’d just bring everyone down anyway, it’s just stupid Lance and his stupid Lance prob-- _

 

_ Shiro very gently pulled the teen into a small hug. His hold was caring, yet Lance could hear him practically challenge him to try to fight it. He didn’t. Lance found himself sinking into the warmth, shakily bringing his own arms up to wrap around the man.  _

_ The embrace lasted for only a minute, a comfortable silence replacing the raging waves crashing in Lance’s head. He felt his heart stop it’s incessant stuttering, the twitchiness to his skin from his anxiety slowly fading away into the warmth. Shiro’s breathing led Lance’s own to calm, from quick, panicked pants to easy breaths.  _

 

_ When the moment ended, Shiro tenderly pulled away, keeping his arms on Lance’s biceps and his eyes soft.  _

 

_ “I love that you care so much about us, Lance. But don’t forget that we aren’t helpless. And don’t forget that you’re worth protecting, too.”  _

-

 

His parting words left Lance with a hollow feeling. He knew none of them were helpless. Each of them played their strengths well and as a team, they were incredible. Even individually, they each held a fierceness, nothing could top their fighting spirit and will to live… but… 

 

Lance ran a hand through his hair, cringing at the ice cold sweat from his brow. Right. Shower.

 

\--

 

The hot water was  _ heavenly. _

 

Despite the rooms having their own single baths, Lance relished in the way the droplets massaged his thawing skin juuuuust right. Baths were for relaxing. Showers, for healing.

And thinking. 

 

Try as he did, Lance’s thoughts inevitably returned to Keith and the battle. He tried to play it off; he’d just been seriously wounded, it would be easy to say he had just been seeing things hadn’t he? The way Keith looked at him at first, all shock and confusion before it morphed into… something darker. 

 

He could recall the fall pretty clearly, quiznak that  _ hurt _ . But Lance had fought off the shadows at the edge of his vision for awhile, eyes fluttering open and closed as he struggled for consciousness. So he only caught glimpses, and everything else sounded as if he were miles underwater but… 

 

Something had happened to Keith, that much was clear. Lance would go so far as to say his  _ presence _ had changed even. With murky vision and near deaf ears, he could catch flashes of purple and red-- Galra, he’d thought. Galra, and Keith fighting them. But as the blurred violet shapes seemed to clash, and the resulting splatters of red, Lance could only assume.. A galra attacking its own kind.. And the way it seemed to hover just above him, almost protectively… 

 

Lance reached out a hand and shut off the shower, watching the water at his feet pool towards the drain. He really only had one choice if he wanted to know. He had to talk to Keith.

 

\--

 

Avoiding Shiro is about as easy as playing hide-and-seek under the cover of night wearing nothing but a jumpsuit made out of blinking neon Christmas lights. 

 

_ God _ , this guy was everywhere! Lance felt pretty confident with his knowledge of the castle’s layout, using old hallways he’d found and ducking through shortcuts towards the training room. (Undoubtedly where Keith was.) And yet, it seemed that with every turn, there Shiro was! 

 

He clearly was looking for Lance, since Lance completely stood him up on their meeting in favor of finding out what was up with Keith. 

 

“Ah, Hunk?”

 

Lance ducked behind a wall, peeking. Shiro approached Hunk slowly, rubbing his neck in a way that said ‘I’m flustered and so lost’ but clenching his other fist in a way that said ‘I’m gonna kill Lance when I find him’ which did nothing to gain him any sympathies, as far as Lance was concerned. 

 

Hunk stopped where he’d been walking, offering the black paladin his full attention. “‘Sup, Shiro?” 

 

“I just can’t seem to find Lance anywhere, and I’d really like to talk to him.” Shiro explained, his human fist going white at the knuckles. ( _ Talk to me or strangle me,  _ Lance thought with raised eyebrows.)

 

Hunk nodded sympathetically. “I’m sorry Shiro, I haven’t seen him. I’m on my way to Pidge now, I can ask them for you?”

“Thanks, Hunk, I appreciate it.” 

 

And with those parting words, Shiro returned the way he came, and Hunk spun his head around like an owl and glared into Lance’s very soul. The latter reluctantly revealed himself, holding his hands up in defeat already as Hunk marched in his direction. 

 

“Hunk, bu-buddy, hear me out--”

“Lance, you can’t just keep avoiding Shiro every time he wants to talk to you!” Hunk whispered in a way that felt like yelling. Lance winced but said nothing. “He just wants to help, you know? And if you have something going on--”

 

“I  _ do not _ have something going on!” Hunk flinched, as Lance didn’t drop his voice at all. The yellow paladin didn’t appear to buy it, continuing,

 

“If you say so, man, but we’re all worried about you and how you’ve been acting out in the field and stuff.. Would it kill you to just  _ talk _ to somebody? Maybe figure out what the deal is--” 

 

Lance physically recoiled, hissing, “I’m  _ fine _ , okay? God, can everybody just get off my case already?” He spun on a heel to continue his hunt for Keith. He only took a few steps before he spun around again, finger raised. 

 

“And I’ll talk to Shiro when I damn well  _ feel like it! _ ” Lance didn’t stay to gauge Hunk’s reaction, too heated to do anything but stalk off and grumble to himself. He could apologize later anyway. 

 

Of course, he didn’t make it very far before being stopped by Shiro ‘Lance-I’m-Disappointed-In-You’ himself, having heard the shouting. He gave Lance a pointed look, which Lance returned with a sneer, because he was so damn tired of that  _ look _ and of the  _ talks _ and the  _ glances _ . 

 

Shiro said nothing, but motioned Lance to follow him to the common room. He didn’t really have much choice but to follow, stomach twisting. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me at clefaiiryy.tumblr.com for update news


	3. Fragility and Being Just

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYYY MY LAPTOP WORKS WHATS UP FRIENDS are u ready to feel things

__

The gladiator, level 9, lunged at Keith, blade pointed. He countered with his own easily, swiping it away before attempting a slash at the robot’s midriff. The gladiator backed off with inhuman speed (which is fair, their enemies aren’t human), and clashed swords. The two fought for dominance, Keith gritting his teeth and pouring as much strength into his attack as he could. He felt a growl rise up from his throat and spill out from behind his teeth, the hands which gripped his weapon going fuzzy as faint purple tufts of fur began to crawl from up his wrists. 

 

Something Keith has noticed; his galra-ness increases his physical strength and agility exponentially. ...What? If you can’t beat em… 

 

With a slight exhale and a little mental relaxation on Keith’s part, the fur shot up his arms, and Keith could feel the muscle mass expanding in his biceps. Even if it were only slightly, the new strength allowed Keith to push back the gladiator with a mighty shove, and swiftly slash his blade in front of him, decapitating it before it could retaliate. 

 

“Level 9 Training Sequence: Ended,” spoke the voice over the room’s intercom system. The gladiator’s image rippled and disappeared.

Keith felt  _ wiped _ , but looking at his clawed hand, he knew he had to cover up before someone burst in.. It took a little effort, and afterward Keith felt like puking, but he was human again. Kind of, anyway. 

 

He wiped the back of his hand across his forehead, looking to the Earth clock installed on the wall above the door. 7:48 AM. If everyone stayed true to their schedules, Hunk was in the kitchen with Coran preparing breakfast, Allura was in the control room overlooking the day’s travels and keeping an eye out for any distress signals, Shiro was in the showers, and Lance would be-- 

 

The doors swished open with as much force as a breath on a feather, but dissatisfied with this entrance, Lance smacked his hand against the frame with a loud SLAM! 

 

“ _ Keith! _ ” 

 

Keith gave him a disinterested look. Normally, Lance would still be sound asleep at this hour, but given the crazed look on his face and the slight shadows under each eye, Keith was willing to bet the teen hadn’t slept. 

 

_ Well that’s stupid of him _ , he thought. Afterall, wasn’t he still technically recovering? 

 

Lance marched up to him with a scowl. Keith was hit with a wave of-- what was that? It was vaguely cinnamon with something almost.. Sweet? It was getting stronger as Lance got…  _ Quiznak _ , is that  _ Lance?! _

 

Keith recoiled from the scent with a cough. This was the galra, wasn’t it? His physicality was changed, so naturally his senses must be too, but that wasn’t what was bothering him. 

 

Lance smelled good. Like  _ really fucking good _ . Keith’s face was on  _ fire _ , he wanted to just shove his nose against Lance’s neck and  _ breathe-- _

 

“Are you even listening, mullet breath?” Lance was shouting, his eyes narrowed and arms crossed. 

 

Keith opened his mouth. And choked. 

He pulled himself together after coughing fit, shaking his head at Lance and adamantly  _ refusing _ to acknowledge the burn on his cheeks.

“No,” his voice was rough. “Sorry, I missed most of that.. Why are you mad at me, anyway?” 

 

Lanced  _ pfft _ ’d, eyes rolling. “I’m not  _ mad  _ at you! Anyway, you gonna fight me or what?” 

 

Keith blinked. Fight… him? Sure they’d sparred before, usually paired up and watched by Shiro or Allura. Never alone, and never so early in the morning. This struck him as odd, and judging by Lance’s high strung and anxious behavior, Keith was sure him kicking his little blue butt wasn’t going to solve anything.

 

“Why are you even awake right now?” Keith asked, tone slipping into frustration as he clipped his deactivated bayard to his belt. 

 

Another exaggerated eye roll from Lance, though he clearly avoided meeting Keith’s gaze, hands tightening where they held his arms.

 

“So I got up early to get some training in, what of it?” 

“You clearly didn’t sleep, Lance.” 

“What do you care, Keith!” Lance barked.

 

Keith’s eyes narrowed, patience running thinner the more they talked. “You’re supposed to be recovering! Part of that entails  _ sleeping! _ ” 

 

Lance gestured to himself; haggard, sloppy, with bags under his eyes. “Look at me, I am recovered! Popped out fresh, just like every other freakin’ time!” He ran his fingers through his hair furiously, leaving it sticking up and messy. The guy was a wreck.

 

Keith bit back a growl. “You still need to rest, we could be under attack at any moment, you have to be ready!” 

 

“I AM READY,  _ KEITH! _ ” His voice bounced off the walls in an echo, and Keith involuntarily winced, his hearing amplified enough without Lance’s shouting.

Lance was waving his arms, gesturing wildly. 

“I’m sorry I’m not up at ass o’clock in the morning training like you, or awake until midnight working on the Lions like Hunk and Pidge, but I’m  _ ready! _ I’m not some  _ weakling _ , Keith, I can handle myself in a fight! Shiro may not think so, but I’m  _ fine _ , there’s nothing wrong with me!” His voice cracked at the end, leaving Keith to stare at him a little out of breath. 

 

Lance’s glare wavered, and watery eyes tore themselves away. Keith took a step forward, glance searching.

 

“What do you mean ‘Shiro may not think so’?” 

Lance mumbled something Keith couldn’t make out, rubbing his fists against his eyes. The sight did something to Keith’s chest, tightened it and squeezed until he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Almost breathlessly, he asked,  

 

“Lance? Lance, are you not fine?”

“I  _ am _ fine!” Lance insisted. Then again, voice quieter this time. “I am..” 

 

Keith stretched a tentative hand, resting it on the teen’s shoulder. He swallowed, nervous suddenly. He’d never been one for comforting others. Even at the garrison, Keith couldn’t remember a time when anyone really talked to him, let alone anything like this. He wasn’t the social type, but.. With Lance, he felt like… maybe he could be.

 

“Uh…” Keith scanned the room before pointing hesitantly to the benches along the wall, moving toward them. Lance seemed to understand well enough, following him with that mopey expression that made Keith’s rib cage rattle. 

They sat next to one another, Keith leaving some room between them but angling himself toward Lance, giving him his full attention. 

 

“Lance…” 

“I’m  _ fine _ ,” Lance reiterated through gritted teeth, eyes burning holes into the training room floor. He turned his head and found Keith’s face, a broken grin stretching across his lips. “Seriously, Keith, don’t worry about it, it’s stupid anyways and--” 

 

Keith slapped his hand down hard on the bench, biting back a snarl. “Are you… are you kidding me, Lance?” 

Lance, who had jumped at the sound, watched Keith warily, almost shocked at the reaction. Keith didn’t let him reply, taking the dive and grabbing Lance firmly by the shoulder and locking eyes. 

 

“It’s not stupid if it’s clearly bugging you, you idiot. Why lie in any case? We’re teammates whether…” Keith hesitated, but steeled himself and continued. “... whether we like it or not, and trust is kinda a big part of that. You can  _ trust me _ , Lance. Any of us, with anything.” 

 

The blue paladin’s eyes widened, and for the first time, Keith was reminded of an ocean. He’d only seen it once, with a foster family in Hawaii when he was around eight. There was a tropical storm, and his foster sister had claimed she’d never seen the ocean look so dark. She had been afraid of it. Keith had marveled at its beauty. 

The family didn’t last, and Keith found himself being bounced inland. At the time, Keith had been sure he’d never see the great expanse of blues ever again. And when the castle first took off into space, well, he’d kissed the entire Earth goodbye. But for the first time, Keith suddenly felt like he was home.

 

Lance blinked, and Keith noticed rather suddenly how his eyes had gotten bigger-- no, not bigger,  _ closer _ .

Keith quickly sat back and scooted over, feeling goosebumps rise on his arms and heat coil in his gut. When had he gotten so close and why?

 

Seemingly undeterred, Lance shrugged at Keith, looking uncomfortable.  _ Because you were all up in his personal space, idiot!  _

 

“I.. I know, but this feels… different. Like a... a secret..” In a voice barely above a whisper, he added, “...a bad secret..” 

 

Keith gathered up his nerves and shoved them somewhere deep and far, feeling a spike of worry run through him at Lance’s words. 

 

“Lance… tell me.” 

 

The teen in question looked at Keith in surprise, as if he didn’t expect anyone to actually listen to him. Of course, Keith quickly began backtracking.

 

“I-I mean, only if you want to? It’s cool if you don’t, I get it, just--”

“Okay.” 

Keith bit his own tongue, then glanced over. “..Huh?”

Lance sat up a little straighter, hands falling into his lap and eyes looking softer and vulnerable. He found Keith’s gaze, and gave a half shrug and a small smile. 

 

“I said okay.”

 

There was a pause, a moment of silence while Lance seemed to prepare his thoughts and Keith struggled not to flee from the anxiety building under his skin. Lance was really trusting him with this, whatever it was, and Keith asked for it, so shouldn’t he be thrilled and supportive? Keith wasn’t sure, but his entire body was screaming for him to Run.

 

“I guess--”  _ Oh christ, he’s starting, okay-- _ “Everyone.. Er, I guess Shiro mostly? I don’t know, I get the feeling everyone’s thinking I’m fragile, or weak, even. I’m in the pods a lot, but that comes with the job, doesn’t it? I’m just keeping you guys safe, besides if anyone got badly hurt in a fight, I’d rather it be me than any of you.” 

 

“Wait,” Keith held up a hand, narrowing his eyes. “Why?”

“Why?”

“Why would you rather it be you than us?”

 

Lance opened his mouth, but stopped, looking pensive. He closed it with a frown, staring into his fingers as if they held the answer. Keith wanted to hold them, but he pushed that traitorous thought into the back of his mind, focusing instead on just getting Lance to look at him again. 

 

“Lance… you know you’re important, right?” 

 

The words must have had quite the effect, as Lance almost recoiled backwards and fallen from the bench. He looked caught, cornered. Terrified… 

 

Keith pushed on. “No one thinks you’re weak, you know that don’t you?” 

At that, the paladin cracked a smile, as if Keith had just told a joke. Keith felt himself getting angry, glaring. 

 

“You’re  _ not _ weak, Lance. You’re possibly the strongest out of any of us. I know you’re homesick, okay, most of us are, but you still put on the brave face and..” Keith waved his hand in a vague gesture. “Get by. Tell jokes, cheer up the team… you do your best to keep us going even when…”

 

Lance huffed out a small, cheerless laugh, nodding. “Even when I’m just this pathetic sack of sadness?”

 

“No, Lance, you’re not pathetic--”

“Let’s just call it what it is, Keith, okay? God, I’m so  _ tired _ . And the kicker is I don’t even know what’s wrong with me! One minute I was  _ fine _ , then I woke up one day and…” Lance’s eyes looked very far away, and his voice seemed even further. “It’s so  _ cold _ in space, Keith… I know the castle-ship has heating systems, but it feels like it’s  _ inside  _ of me. The cold… Y’know I wake up some nights and I forget where I am? Then when it all comes rushing back, it feels like I’m standing naked in the middle of a blizzard.

And I get that I’m a part of Team Voltron, and without me we wouldn’t be able to form our big space cat transformer, but… I feel so replaceable, if that makes sense. Like, Shiro? Natural born leader, his tragedies make him stronger, he’s like our pillar, who we lean on for help and he always  _ always _ knows how to guide us into bettering ourselves. 

Hunk is a genius mechanic, I’ve seen that guy rewire hoverbikes and create a completely unique kind of vehicle. Not to mention, he’s so personable, and we probably wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for his instincts. 

Then there’s Pidge, who I shouldn’t even have to get into specifics with. They’re amazing, so smart for a kid and always learning more incredible things that I couldn’t even  _ dream _ of doing, but it’s like they see something they don’t understand and they just. Figure it out. 

Allura’s kind of irreplaceable, she’s the princess, but she’s also a leader. Like Shiro, it seems to come naturally to her, and she’s exceedingly strong-- physically and otherwise..”

 

Lance drew in a breath, glancing to Keith before quickly darting his eyes away. 

 

“...And… now don’t tell anyone I said this… Keith, you’re.. You’re the best pilot I’ve ever seen..” His voice was so soft, Keith almost didn’t catch it. But the words set his face on fire, though Lance didn’t notice and continued. 

 

“It’s all natural talent and instinct, anyone could see that-- the garrison sure did. Before the garrison, I could barely get a hoverbike to  _ start _ , let alone pilot a pod...  Man, I studied my butt off just to get accepted, and I saw you do the simulator once and I just... “ 

 

Lance shook his head. “You passed on your first try… you see how that’s kind of intimidating, right? You all are, I mean. Everyone has these amazing, natural talents that make us stronger.. And I…” his voice trailed off, though Keith was sure he got the idea where it was going.

 

He shifted where he sat. “Lance, I--”

“Anyway,” Lance chuckled to himself, forcing the pained look out of his eyes as he smiled at Keith. “You’ve been acting weird, too, right? So what’s your deal?” 

 

Keith really didn’t want to drop the subject like that, but he could tell he wasn’t going to get any further with it today. He rolled his eyes at Lance, grabbing the water bottle from underneath the bench, opening it for a swig. 

 

“What do you mean, ‘weird’?” He asked. 

“I mean, I wanted to talk to you before-- when I got out of the pods? But you kind of shut me down.” 

“And then you ran out like a baby, right I remember.” 

“I DID NOT--” 

“So, what about it?” Keith set the bottle down, hoping his voice sounded light and carefree, ignoring the way the hair (possibly fur) on the back of his neck stood on end.

 

The blue paladin gave him a once over, eyes full of concern and a little suspicion. “I thought I saw something… before I passed out, at the battle on Myruid..” 

Keith tensed. “O-Oh… um… yea? Like what, exactly..?”  _ Oh, quiznak please nooo… _

 

“I’m not sure exactly,” Lance stretched his arms behind him casually, watching and gauging Keith’s reaction. “Though it almost looked like there was a galra taking down other galras.” 

 

All the alarms and bells in Keith’s head fired off at once, he could feel the sweat trickling down his back and arms, suddenly hyper aware of what his face looked like and what his eyes were doing. 

 

“Oh… re-really?”  _ Keep it together, Keith.. _ “I didn’t see that, then… that’s, uh, odd isn’t it? Why would a.. G-galra do something like that?” Keith tried to snicker, but choked on it and began coughing desperately. He grappled with his water bottle for a minute, all the while Lance looking incredibly amused and satisfied with himself. 

 

“Ya alright there, buddy?” He asked teasingly, reaching out to start patting Keith’s back. But Keith quickly stood up, face aflame. 

 

“Ye-yea, sorry, just, um… sick! Yea, I don’t feel too great, I think I caught something from that planet Myrood or whatever--”

“Myruid.”

“Yea that, so uh, I’m gonna… go… lay down or something.” Keith began to back out of the training room slowly, before turning to open the door panels. 

 

“Oh, Keith?” 

Keith turned his head back to Lance, who stood with one hand on his hip and one on his cheek. In a flash, he kissed his own palm and then held it in front of him, blowing the kiss Keith’s way. 

 

“Feel better~” Lance smirked. Keith tripped over the step out, waiting until the door cut off his view of Lance’s stupid face and stupid kiss blowing before marching back to his room with a newfound eagerness. 

  
He was now determined, more than anything, to avoid Lance as much as he possibly could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are u ready to FEEL MORE THINGS? <3 stay tuuuuned
> 
> oh dont worry galra will show up soon i didnt forget ;3c
> 
> clefaiiryy.tumblr.com


	4. Turmoil, All Kinds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY im using my moms laptop for the time being ^^" i still cant write as often as i want but i can every now and then which is great!
> 
> we sent off my laptop for fixing so i'll keep u guys updated! have a condolences chapter its long <3

Night on the castle-ship wasn’t so much ‘nighttime’ as it was ‘expected paladin recharging time’ as far was Allura was concerned. The drills they’d done that day were brutal, Lance was tempted to lock himself in one of the many abandoned rooms somewhere and play possum. But of course, Shiro basically scolded Lance for the thought in the form of dangerously sharp encouragement. So he sucked it up, if only to avoid another ‘talk.’

 

Lance turned the hallway headed towards the kitchen, frowning. Ugh. Talking. He’d kind of spilled his guts to Keith the other day, hadn’t he?

 _Quiznak, why did I_ do _that?_ Lance thought, though he imagined it had something to do with the lingering feelings he had for the mullet head.. He was working on that. _Still_ , he grimaced. _Now Keith knows just how weak I am…_

 

After that.. Less than perfect morning conversation, Keith seemed to have vanished. Though, considering the enormous size of the castle ship, it wasn’t that hard. Still, Lance found himself feeling… avoided.

 

Once in the kitchen, Lance loaded up a bowl of food goo and plopped himself down at the counter. It was around 10 o’clock if Lance had to guess, making the mental note to check the lions hangar for any prowling green gremlins.

He spooned some goo into his mouth with a grumble. Almost flavorless, slightly sweet. Hunk was getting better with the improvements. At least it no longer tasted like gravel.

 

As it does, his mind wandered. From today’s drills and bonding exercises, to his own… eh, issue. He was fine, and besides, it wasn’t like he was _actively trying to get hurt_ , it was just like, the aftermath of being the suave, handsome hero who saves the day.

 

And isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? Put yourself before others? Lance chewed the goo thoughtfully, thinking back to his family on Earth and the many siblings he had. He always put their needs first, because he was the bomb ass big brother.

 

His youngest sister, Novia, had night terrors some nights. Lance often woke up in the middle of the night to her small hand prodding at his face, her soft brown eyes wet and a tremble on her lips. Usually he didn’t even have to speak, just lift up his covers and let the girl curl against him. If she had one that night, Lance would start awake by her small shout and soothe her back to bed. Though, he never was really able to sleep much after that, the sight of his baby sister too terrified to even recognize his face too jarring for him to close his eyes.

  


Then there was Paz and Perseo, the twins and notorious trouble makers. They could rival _Pidge_ levels of prank mastery. With their combined wits and innocent, baby like faces, there wasn’t anything they couldn’t get away with. But, they had a problem with taking things too far, and if they ever got caught, well… Lance couldn’t resist those puppy eyed, pleading faces. He’d say it was all his idea. And when he was grounded for who knows how many weeks, Paz and Perseo would sneak bowls mama’s _arroz con leche_ into his room as their thanks.

 

If his older sister Rosalyn or his big bro Mateo ever needed Lance’s help with their own kids, he was too happy to play Uncle. He’d missed a few crucial garrison admission tests for them, but he was given make up dates anyway, so what did it matter?

 

This was who Lance was. Someone who sacrificed himself and his time for the people important to him, no matter what it was. He couldn’t help loving his family, which was why when Shiro says things like, “You should take yourself into consideration,” Lance gets confused. If he _wants_ to do this, then what was the problem?

 

He ate another spoonful of goo, swinging his feet from where they dangled on the stool. His family was the best, he missed them something awful. Even at the garrison, Lance always was a little homesick. Being light years away in space fighting some alien war took its toll in a lot of ways, and Lance was exhausted in just as many, but being with the team.. With Keith… it felt a little closer to home.

 

Speaking of, something was definitely up with Voltron’s red paladin. His weird ‘sickness’ must’ve been playing with Keith’s personality somewhat. Lance had patted him on the shoulder after a particularly tiring nose dive exercise that morning, and the boy _jumped_ out of his skin. Like, with a shrill little yelp and everything!

 

Lance also couldn’t ignore the static thrumming in his chest every time Keith was around, despite his best efforts, and he was trying! Keith just had the annoying talent of looking absolutely _gorgeous_ when doused in sweat; his hair stuck to parts of his face, his knuckles bruised from the punching bag, the way his voice was almost breathless-- how he said Lance’s _name_ , lips slightly parted as he catches his breath, it all made his face go _bright pink_ and--

 _Shut up, shut UP!_ Lance cursed himself silently. He thought he’d been getting better at this whole ‘giving up on Keith’ thing. Evidently not. He shoved another bite of goo past his lips with a scowl.

 

A clanging sound tore Lance from his thoughts, and he turned to see a disgruntled green paladin struggle with an armful of dirty plates and bowls before gracelessly dumping them into the kitchen sink with an exhale.

 

Lance put down his spoon. “Hey.”

Pidge jumped, whirling around with panic in their eyes. “WHAT-- _Jesus_ Lance! I’m getting you a bell, sweet _quiznak_ …”

 

Lance chuckled. “Sorry, I thought you saw me.” He pointed to the pile of dishes in the sink with a raised eyebrow. Pidge glanced at them, cheeks slightly pinker.

 

“...From late nights working in my room.” They admitted, shy.

Lance stared at them. “Pidge.”

“I _know_.”

“You goblin.”

“I _knooow…_ ”

 

The two watched each other for a moment before breaking down into laughter. Pidge lifted their glasses to wipe under their eyes, giggling brightly.

 

“Gee, I didn’t really expect to get caught. What are you doing here so late anyway? I thought I would be safe under the cover of darkness, but evidently not. What’s up?”

They joined Lance at the counter, taking the barstool next to him.

 

Lance smile faded, and he looked to his goo for help. Naturally, in it’s neon green glory, it could offer no assistance.

 

“Just,” he started. “Thinking, I guess.”

Pidge made an incredulous face. “You?”

“Oh, har har.” Lance nudged Pidge’s shoulder with his elbow. Pidge snorted, nudging him back.

 

“‘Bout what?”

“Hm?”

“You said you were thinking. About what?”

 

Ah.. Lance could feel himself shrinking inward, desperately clawing at his rib cage as he tried to hide himself within it. He’d already blown up at Keith and now the mullet-head won’t even talk to him, let alone meet his eyes.

Lance found Pidge’s inquisitive stare and smirked, letting out a long and dramatic sigh.

 

“Princess Allura,” he answered smoothly, propping his chin on his palm and making a dreamy expression.

Pidge blinked, their gaze hardening. “Nice try, Lance, but I’ve known you for awhile now, remember? You wouldn’t come down to the kitchen at near 3:00 AM to daydream and drool over the princess.” They turned their body to face Lance completely, giving him all of their attention.

 

“Now why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

 

\--

 

“Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong!”

“Because _nothing’s wrong,_ Lance! Just drop it!”

 

Keith threw his helmet to the floor and turned to the hallway, abandoning the rest of the team during one of Allura’s “bond strengthening” exercises. Lance glared at the red helmet, feeling his cheeks burn.

He didn’t mean to pry, but the whole ‘visualize yourself forming Voltron’ thing hadn’t been working, and he could see Keith struggling with it, plus how he said he’d been sick lately so Lance just…

 

“Erm…” Allura looked between where Keith had made his haughty exit and to where Lance stood, shame coloring his cheeks. “We can… try it again later, no worries! Al-Alright, Paladins, why don’t you take a break and we’ll come back with some team building!” She clapped her hands once, and the remaining paladins rose from where they sat cross legged on the floor.

 

“Lance--” Shiro began, but Lance hurriedly cut him off.

“No. No, okay? I can’t right now.”

Shiro waved his hand dismissively. “No, I mean, did something happen between you and Keith?”

 

Lance sighed. _Had_ something happened? “I just… he looked pretty worn out, and he told me he felt sick a couple of days ago, so I thought…” he shook his head. “Whatever. Keith’s being a jerk, what else is new.”

 

He scooped his own helmet off the floor, clutching it too him. “I’m gonna go change.” He quietly left the room, headed for his quarters.

 

“Hey,” Hunk lifted his head from where he lay sprawled on the floor. “What’s up with Lance? He’s been… off lately, y’know?”

Shiro breathed out, seemingly considering something. “I suppose… I suppose I should tell you all something..”

 

Allura and Hunk shared a confused, concerned glance, but Pidge held up a hand and shook their head.

 

“Lance already told me. And I gotta say, Shiro, you’re being rather gentle with him. He’s not one you can hug and make better, he’s more of a tough love guy I think.”

 

“Tough love…” Allura echoed, blinking at Shiro. “Forgive me, what is wrong with Lance?”

 

Shiro opened his mouth to reply, but Pidge cut him off once again.

 

“Lance’s self worth is at an all time low. That’s why he’s been sacrificing himself and getting hurt a lot, he has no value on his own life.”

 

Allura rested a hand over her mouth in shock. “No value? But he’s the blue paladin, his life is extremely valuable!”

 

Pidge adjusted their glasses. “Well, yes, but Lance doesn’t see it that way. I think the word is ‘expendable.’”

The princess balled up her fists, glaring at Pidge threateningly. “But he isn’t!” Pidge gulped and side stepped behind Shiro.

 

“I wasn’t saying that he was! Just, that’s what he seems to believe…”

 

Hunk sat up, frowning. “Oh,” he said softly. “That’s not new..”

 

Three heads swiveled his direction, but he calmly explained. “Back on Earth, Lance didn’t have much of a sense for self preservation. If I had a test the next morning, he’d stay up with me all night to help me study, even when he had his own tests to study for. Constantly he’d give away his lunch when the other kids’ money hadn’t gone through, despite that he was starving, y’know? He’s… very generous, but…” Hunk trailed off, rubbing his arm awkwardly.

 

“But it seems to come from a negative place,” Shiro finished, to which Hunk nodded gravely in agreement.

 

“Then…” Allura fiddled with her fingers, a nervous habit Shiro noticed. “How do we go about convincing Lance that his life is worth something?” She looked to Shiro, hopeful.

 

Shiro studied the ground, cheeks oddly red. “Well, I’ve been trying to talk with him. Maybe see where this idea of his came from and work on creating a better image of himself.”

 

Hunk nodded from the floor. “We could try to build up his confidence more, especially his flying. He’s actually pretty sensitive about the whole ‘cargo pilot’ thing, so don’t go there.”

 

Pidge cleared their throat, pink in the face. “I’m not… real good with heart to heart chats but I’m… I’ll do what I can. For Lance.”

 

The paladins and their princess nodded together. “For Lance.”

 

\--

 

Grumbling, Lance opened the door to his room by placing his hand on the sensor. Inside, he tossed his armor off into a heap on the floor and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and an old tee shirt. He didn’t have a lot of clothes from Earth, but Allura entered data into the castle ship that allowed the closets to replicate clothing similar to modern Earth’s designs. It felt weird on his skin though, not quite as homey as the feel of 100% cotton.

 

He shivered, reaching onto his bed where his signature jacket lay and slipping it on. Maybe he should have showered first, but he shrugged. He could shower later. Or tomorrow.

 

Lance left his room and stood in the hall, debating on whether or not he could lounge around in the common area or if he should go exploring the castle ship. It was then that he heard a noise, like someone had dropped something-- or several somethings-- and was now… cursing about it. In.. In Korean.

Lance dragged his eyes over to where Keith’s room was, the door shut tight but not keeping in any of the frustrated sounds coming from inside.

 

 _I should really leave him alone, he hates me, remember?_ With a huff, he spun on a heel and started down the hall, away from that stupid, stubborn, ridiculously attractive man with ZERO fashion sense--

 

The yelp gave Lance pause, and he froze, turning his head back.

 

 _..What is Keith_ doing? .. _Wait. I don’t care! Screw Keith!_

 

And he took another step before he heard the deep growling, startling the hairs on the back of his neck to attention. Another shaky turn of his head and he saw Keith’s door still closed, but the sounds coming out of it now were much more frightening than a bunch of Korean curse words.

 

_Was… was Keith alone in there?_

 

Pull yourself together, Lance! He straightened, tip toeing toward the door cautiously.

 

“K-Keith…?” His voice was barely above a whisper. He jumped when he heard the yelping again. _Quiznak, what is that thing!_ He cleared his throat, reaching out a hand to the touch pad. “Ke-Keith?” He said a little louder.

Lance thought he could hear something else, the sounds of feet stomping hurriedly and something practically throwing itself against the door, and Lance DID NOT SCREAM A LITTLE BIT.

 

“Uh-- Uh, I’m fine!” Keith’s voice said from inside. It sounded as if he were speaking through gritted teeth. “Don’t come in!” Another pained yipping noise. “D-Don’t come in!”

 

Lance hovered his hand over the touch pad. Something was wrong with Keith, clearly, and Lance couldn’t just… leave him like this.

“Keith!” He pressed an ear to the door. “Keith, are you sure you’re okay?”

 

“God-- _yes!_ Lance, I’m fine just--” Keith’s voice cut off by another growl, and Lance pounded on the door with his fist.

 

“A-Are you being attacked? Keith, I’m coming in!” He slapped his hand down on the touchpad, the screen recognizing him as a guest before beeping and activating the door.

 

“No, no, no!” Keith seemed to fly backwards, pressing himself into a corner of the room upon Lance’s entry. The room which was totally trashed; bed sheets strewn across the floor along with different articles of clothing, seemingly shredded.

With the grace of a newborn fawn, Keith untangled his feet from the offending cloth and shot into the bathroom, the door swooshing closed behind him.

 

“Keith?” Lance stepped further into the room, stepping around what looked like a broken glass. “Keith, please…” He glanced back to the touchpad beside the door on the inside of the room. The Altean blue screen lit up at his stare and projected the number two-- the Earthling number two, Pidge had to install translators in all of the Altean tech for convenience-- along with what was the Altean word for ‘guests,’ followed by an English translation, and then a Korean one.  

 

 _Two. So it’s just us then_ , Lance figured. _So he wasn’t being attacked? Then…_ He kicked at a torn piece of bed sheet. _Did he do this?_

 

He turned his attention to the scuffling come from the bathroom, chest tightening. _Is his sickness causing… whatever this is?_

 

With a tentative hand to the door, Lance pressed his ear to the cool metal. “...Keith.” He said it softly, like he would have said Novia’s name during one of her night terrors. “Keith, talk to me…”

 

From the other side, Lance heard a shaky inhale of breath followed by an even shakier release.

 

After what felt like hours, Keith answered, voice raspy.

 

“Lance…”

“Keith? Keith, buddy, what’s wr--”

“Lance.” Keith’s voice was uncharacteristically distressed, cracking in a way that made Lance think he was struggling to keep control of it.

 

“Um.. yes?”

  
“I… I need to tell you something.”


	5. Nothing's Changed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYYY!!!! im alive and i got a new laptop that works! :DD exciting~~ 
> 
> im sorry this took forever i got really unhappy with it toward the end so i took longer to try and tweak what i could ;u; i hope its okay<3

Shit.

  
Shit, shit, shit, quiznaking shit!

  
Keith was trembling, god, he was trembling. Not only that, but he was sweating up a storm, and the sweat sticking to the purple fur spread across his body was making his skin itch.

  
Of course, of course it would be Lance, wouldn’t it? After all that effort into trying to keep it from the team, and Lance’s weirdly spot-on senses, of course it would be the blue paladin to find him in such a sorry state.

  
He grimaced, bracing himself against the bathroom door with a grunt. It hadn’t started until after he left the group training. The adrenaline of his shouting match with Lance must have triggered something, because before he even made it to his room, he could feel his skin shifting and changing. It wasn’t painful, but it definitely wasn’t a sensation he’d want to feel again any time soon.   
Keith crashed into his bedroom, tripping over his stumbling feet and reaching for the dresser to sturdy himself, only to rake his new claws down the side with a sickening sound of nail on metal. He cringed at the noise, landing with a thump on his bedroom floor.   
After scrabbling with the mattress of his bed to help him stand, Keith watched the sheets become streamers at his fingertips, fluttering to the floor. With a few muttered curses, Keith swayed on his feet once more, stepping backwards into the nightstand, turning his head in time to watch in horror as one of the empty glasses he’d been hoarding tipped and toppled onto the floor, crashing and scattering glass shards everywhere.

  
“Shit,” Keith reached for the largest shard, but the tangles of sheet had somehow wrapped around his feet and his cautious reach became a lunge as he fell, effectively slicing the palm of his hand on the piece of glass with a high yelping sound.

  
“Ow ow ow ow… ahh….” Keith hissed as he surveyed the damage to his hand. It wasn’t too deep, but it was bleeding and it stung like hell…

  
And then he heard it.

  
“K-Keith?”

  
Every hair-- fur?-- on Keith’s body stood on end, and he felt something near his lower back perk and tense-- quiznak, is that a tail?!

  
He must’ve whined, because he just made out a frightened gasp from the hallway. Keith glared at his tail and it whipped in front of him, unbothered.   
Like a flash, Keith slammed himself against the door, not taking his new galra speed into account. Lance could under no circumstances come through that door. Keith took stock of his new look; mostly purple furry skin, a tail, claws, and his ears began to tingle meaning it was only a matter of time before he went full chinchilla.

  
Clearing his voice as best he could, Keith attempted to sound nonchalant. “Uh-- Uh, I’m fine! Don’t come in!” He teetered, one of his feet crushing his new apandenge. Keith made a pained squealing noise, hurriedly pulling his tail back to safety and smoothing down the frazzled, furry end.   
“D-Don’t come in!” He repeated, desperate.  
“Keith! Are you sure you’re okay?” Lance sounded awfully close to the door.

  
So persistent.. Annoying.. “God-- yes! Lance, I’m fine just--” He growled, frustrated, too late realizing that his once flat, omnivorous teeth turned sharp, and the growl in the back of his throat only got deeper and more menacing.

  
A heavy knock on the door made Keith wince at the proximity. Lance sounded terrified and ridiculously concerned.. Why? Keith was saying he was fine, why did Lance seem to care so much about his wellbeing?

  
“A-Are you being attacked? Keith, I’m coming in!”

  
Keith, eyes blown wide, felt time slow down as the panel by the door cheerily beeped, accepting entry to ‘GUEST.’ He watched in horror as the doors began to swoosh open, throwing himself backward and crashing into the dresser against the wall with a wince, skittering along his floor and flying into the bathroom, locking the door with a simple press of hand to the wall panel.

  
The difference between the door to Keith’s quarters and the door to the bathroom is the bathroom door could only be locked or unlocked from the inside. This gave Keith a small, flickering taste of relief. Lance couldn’t come in.

  
And yet--

  
“Keith?”

  
Quiznak, Lance sounded so frightened. No doubt the sight of Keith’s destroyed room was giving the paladin pause. Keith could only imagine what Lance had to be thinking, and the thought caused his stomach to twist into knots, and he frowned, a hand clenching onto the fabric of his shirt.

  
This wasn’t fair… god, this wasn’t fair.

  
“Keith?” He jumped at his name, the voice edging closer to the bathroom until he could smell Lance right outside. He bit back another whimper. God, smelling him was weird and horrible… in a really good way. And he hated that he thought that.

  
Maybe.. Telling him wouldn’t be so bad?

  
Yea.. right… Keith could already see the look of pure, unfiltered hatred once Lance knows the truth. He could see him rushing to tell the team, to throw him into a cell, or hell, into a pod to be ejected into space.   
He risked a glance into the mirror. Most of him was coated with the purple skin and fur, save for a few splotches around his neck and face. One of his ears had already turned, drooped to display his despair. He could tell that his eyes were gaining a yellowish tint, the pupil somewhat visible still as a darker shade.

  
Monster.

  
Keith winced. It was Lance’s voice and it hurt. He used to never care what anyone thought of him, not back at the garrison and certainly not out in that desert. But that was before… before he found his… team.   
That wasn’t the right word, but it was close enough, because suddenly, everything they said or did mattered to him. He found himself in the middle of missions wondering what Shiro would do in this situation, or on planets thinking that Pidge would enjoy studying the species living there. He’d taste a dish and think of Hunk, he’d meet with diplomats and think of Allura, even during training his mind would wander to Coran, wondering if the Altean would ever spar with him.

  
But Lance--

  
“...Keith..” Lance’s voice was entirely too soft, too worried. Keith swallowed, ignoring the sudden heat in his cheeks.

  
Something about Lance lately had been throwing Keith for a loop. One second he was demanding Keith to fight him and then suddenly he was almost… flirty?

  
No! Keith mentally kicked himself. Lance is a total ladies man and… and besides… His claws dug into his palms slightly as he clenched his fists. No one could love a freak. Especially not a traitor to the galaxy…

  
“Keith,” Lance was saying again. “...Please…”

  
And Keith felt himself crumble. What was the point of hiding? He couldn’t hide it anymore, and it was getting clearer and clearer that this change was of the… permanent kind.

  
He could always… leave? Keith’s heart ripped at the idea, but it was the best option wasn’t it? Maybe… sneak out, steal a pod, head for the nearest inhabitable but completely unpopulated planet to live out the rest of his days as a… galra.   
His throat felt tight. Maybe he could convince Lance to help him? Aghh!

  
“Keith… Keith, talk to me…” So pleading, so unlike the hotheaded trouble maker Keith knew and-- … Knew and what, exactly? ...Liked?

  
His head hit the door with a thud. And he shakily drew in breath. He was in a corner here. There really was no other choice.

  
“Lance…”   
Lance responded almost immediately, relief apparent in his tone. “Keith? Keith, buddy, what’s wrong--”  
“Lance.”   
“Um… yes?”   
“I need to tell you something.” The words didn’t even sound real, leaving his mouth. “But… you need to get away from the door…”

  
Lance was quiet for a moment, before, “Wha… what do you mea--”  
“Lance,” Keith dropped into a whisper. “Please. Just back up. To the wall, okay? I’m gonna… I’m gonna open the door.”

  
Another moment of hesitation on the other side, before the sounds of movement. Lance, sounding fainter and further away, said, “Okay… I’m away.”

  
Right. Okay. I’m… I’m actually doing this…

  
Keith reached for the panel, one fur covered finger hovering over ‘UNLOCK.’ He bit his lip, steeled his nerves, and pressed.

  
\--

  
The door swooshed open without much drama. No raging monster came barreling out of the bathroom, to which Lance was grateful, he’d just taken off all of his armor and would easily end up as table scraps.

  
He wasn’t, however, expecting Keith to step out of the shadows covered in lilac fur.

  
The creature before him was clearly Keith. His hair was the same, though now slightly more violet, but Lance would recognize the mullet anywhere. His eyes practically were glowing, yellow replacing the whites and a deeper shade taking over his pupil, and his skin also seemed to take on the bruise like coloring.

  
Instinctively, Lance felt his body tense, and his hand almost moved on its own towards his belt, where his bayard usually was clipped. But he stopped himself, awkwardly dropping his hand back to his side. This is… Keith.

  
Keith took a tentative step out of the bathroom, and Lance saw his ears for the first time, drooped into a submissive and frightened position. Which was weird, considering Lance had never seen Keith be submissive in his life. Or scared.

  
He reached out a hand to him, watching in horror as Keith flinched and stepped back with widened eyes.

  
“Keith…” Lance kept his voice soft, easy on the ears. “Keith, I’m not going to hurt you. You know that, don’t you?” He did, didn’t he?   
With a bit of mental persuading, Lance took a step toward him, gauging Keith’s reaction. Keith glared, as if his stare could push him back, away.

  
Heh. That’s definitely Keith.   
With a small smirk, Lance took another step.

  
Keith recoiled. “Don’t, Lance.” His ears flattened, and Lance could just make out sharp fangs in the paladin’s snarl. He didn’t listen, though, trekking on.

  
This is Keith, he was repeating the words in his head like a mantra, trying to soothe his spiking nerves that were screaming DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER. This is Keith. This is Keith.   
The galra parts were definitely new and a little… different, but this was Keith. This was the stupid, obnoxiously handsome red paladin Lance picked fights with in his childish attempts to gain his attention. This was the mullet-headed hotshot he so desperately wanted to beat-- in everything. This was Keith.

  
He was only an arm's length away before he started to think, what am I doing?

  
It was too late to back out now, and seeing Keith look so vulnerable-- so terrified of Lance-- struck too many chords for him to be comfortable with. He shouldn’t have to feel that way, especially not towards him.

  
“You’re okay,” Lance mumbled once he was close enough, reaching out a hand and gingerly brushing his fingers across Keith’s cheek. He wasn’t sure what he was saying, but the words seemed to fall out naturally. “You’re okay. You’re still Keith. It’ll be okay.”

  
Keith’s eyes had spilled over in tears, and a gloved hand came to rest on top of Lance’s. He could see the claws, sharp and dangerous, and how Keith took care not to scratch him with them when he gave his hand a squeeze.

  
Intimacy wasn’t something they’d done before, but Lance liked it. If it was a comfort to Keith, then he liked it even better. It reminded him of his days on Earth, caring for his siblings and family members and whoever he happened upon that needed it…Lance felt useful, and his stomach twittered in joy.  
It dawned on him suddenly that Keith hadn’t really had anyone in his life to comfort him, and Lance’s throat tightened. Then he was just going to have to make up for that.

  
“Lance…”  
“Hm?”  
“You can’t tell them.. Promise me.”

  
Lance once over-ed Keith’s new appearance with a frown, and, with great reluctance, pulled his hand away. “Keith… it’s gonna be a little hard to hide.”

  
Keith shook his head violently, curling his fingers into his hair roughly. “No! I’m a…” He seemed to choke on his words, but only moved on. “They’ll hate me, they won’t trust me anymore.”

  
“Don’t say that!” Lance narrowed his eyes, rage spiking. How little did Keith trust them? Him? “They won’t hate you, you haven’t changed!”  
“Look at me, Lance!”   
“So what! You haven’t changed, Keith!” In a bold move, Lance reached up and ripped Keith’s hands from off of his head, holding onto his wrists tightly, trying to get the boy to look at him. Keith didn’t put up much of a fight, squeaking when Lance tightened his hold. His eyes flickered to his right hand, and Lance followed his gaze.

  
“You’re hurt.” It was a statement of fact, and Lance released the other hand in favor of inspecting the injury. He must’ve done it before Lance came in, judging by the scuffle his room had been put through.  
Keith pulled on his wrist with a barely audible whine, but Lance stopped him with a glare before pushing him aside and marching into the bathroom.   
A moment later he returned with the first aid kit, and latched on to Keith again, pulling him toward the bed to sit down.

  
Keith seemed to comply, though pouting. “It’s nothing.”

  
“No,” Lance said as he gently dabbed the wound with hydrogen peroxide soaked cotton. “It’s bleeding is what it is.”

  
God, he wanted to say. Why are you so reckless? Why can’t you be careful? You’re fragile, Keith, why can’t you just take care of yourself? But he swallowed the words. Keith wasn’t like Lance. Lance could acknowledge his fragility, but it’s almost like Keith acts like it’d be impossible for him to fall to pieces.

  
Keith hissed at the sting, ears flattening out again. He was silent as Lance dressed the wound, his eyes following his movements carefully. His expression was almost dull. One that said he had accepted defeat.

  
“We’ll figure this out,” Lance still held the dressed hand in his, dragging his finger across the palm lightly. In all honesty, Lance didn’t have a fucking clue what they were gonna do, let alone the reactions of the others.   
At the thought, he felt his blood spike. A part of him knew that they would never actually hurt Keith… but even still, he made a silent vow to never let it happen. Keith needed protecting, and Lance was willing to protect him.

  
“Why aren’t you scared?” Keith asked. “Like, even a little bit? I just told you I was galra, Lance, and you barely even blinked.”

  
Huh. Lance considered it. He hadn’t even noticed his lack of surprise, and he really should have been right? I mean, woah, finding out one of your teammates in defending the galaxy is actually the same species as the capital-E-enemy should have at least warranted a gasp or something.

  
“I… I don’t know…” was his answer, his eyebrows knit together and his mouth forming a discontented frown. He glanced back to Keith, whose wide golden eyes watched him in a strange sort of fascination. A blush bloomed across his cheeks, and Lance had to look away. Even galran Keith was gorgeous… ugh, the universe just isn’t playing fair anymore.

  
He gently pushed Keith’s hand out of his lap, avoiding locking eyes again. He forced out a chuckle and a teasing smile.

  
“You looked pretty wigged out there man, I guess I… uh, didn’t care too much…”   
Keith appeared unimpressed and unamused. “You don’t care that I’m galra.”  
“Heh… no?”  
“You don’t care that me, the red paladin of Voltron, is an evil purple space chinchilla.”   
“You’re not evil, though!”   
“You don’t care that me, Keith Kogane of Earth, former human, am now covered in fur and have fluffy ears and a tail.”   
“No, I-- you have a tail?”

  
Keith huffed and stood from the bed, crossing his arms. “Take this seriously, Lance!”

  
Lance held up his hands in defense. “I am! I swear I am, I just… don’t care that you’re galra. I mean, what has really changed here? You grew some purple fur and a tail. Beyond that, you’re still who you were this morning. And yesterday. And so many days before that.” He hesitated before continuing. “And I’m sure the rest of the team will see that--”

  
“No!” Keith’s tail shot up ramrod straight, fuzzy end spiked up in fear. “No,” Keith said again. “We’re not telling them… yet…”

  
“Yet?”   
He rolled his eyes. “Well, I know I can’t hide it forever, but…” Keith seemed to shrink in on himself. “I don’t know if I’m ready… for them to hate me.”   
“They aren’t going to hate you--”  
“Save it, Lance…” Exasperated, Keith dropped his arms to his side and looked around at his trashed room. Lance chewed on the inside of his cheek, but relented.

  
“I’ll help you clean.”

  
They worked in silence, sweeping up glass and debris, setting furniture right, remaking the bed, and when they’d finished, Lance took a breath and found Keith’s eyes again.

  
“I won’t tell anyone. Okay? Not until you’re ready at least.”

  
Keith nodded, and his shoulders fell forward in a gesture of relief. Lance only felt his stomach tighten further, gnawing on his lip in nerves.

  
We can’t exactly… hide this…

  
Lance started at the sudden pressure against his shoulder, glancing down to see Keith’s head pressed there in a moment of exhaustion. He grinned, reaching up and tenderly stroking an ear.

“Good kitty.”   
“Lance.”

  
He smiled. He did have a few ideas to keep this secret, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> starcee.tumblr.com
> 
> i keep changing my url im sorry thats so confusing


	6. Appetites

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title is misleading uuhuhuhuhu <3

Lance swallowed, risking a peek outside of Keith’s room. He could feel Keith behind him, he could hear him fidgeting and his ears flicking with impatience. It’d be cute if it weren’t so--

 

“Lance.  _ Lance? _ ” 

 

… annoying.

 

“Lance!”

“God,  _ what _ , Keith?” He looked back at the red paladin, who was wrapped in his comforter. After the accidental discovery of Keith’s galra self, Lance checked in on him again in the morning. And to be frank, it was pretty obvious that he hadn’t slept. Or, not much anyway, judging by Keith’s attitude. 

 

Keith narrowed his eyes, but Lance only noticed the bags hanging under them. “Are you getting me breakfast or what?” 

 

“ _ Yes _ , but I can’t just be seen leaving your room can I? Because I don’t exactly have a reason to  _ be in here! _ ” Though the implications, Lance refused to admit that he probably wouldn’t deny them per se.. 

 

At that, Keith flushed a little, and Lance willed his heart to  _ stay still _ .  _ Keep dreaming, McClain…  _ Right. Now was not the time. But it’d be wonderful if there  _ was a time _ .

 

“Well, can’t you just…” Keith shrugged, ears drooped. “Say I’m sick? Or something?” He met Lance’s face with those puppy dog eyes of his, genuine worry mixed with something mischievous and almost coy. 

 

Agh,  _ quiznak. _

 

Lance breathed in deeply, attempting to suck back in his soul from Keith’s stupid eyes. “That’ll work, I guess, but not for very long…” He could already hear Allura’s disbelief of the mysterious illness. He could try to play it off as a ‘human thing that Alteans wouldn’t understand,’ but there’s the case of the three other humans aboard the castle-ship who would smell the fishiness of it all. 

Especially Shiro, damn those space-dad senses… 

 

Keith jabbed him in the side, none too gently. “LANCE.”

Lance yelped with a wince.“I’m going, I’m going!” He took a step into the hall, but glanced back. Mustering up as much authority as he could, he said, “Stay. Here.” 

 

Keith narrowed his eyes and his tail poked out from under the blankets, wagging dangerously. 

 

“Where else am I going, idiot?” He ground out before harshly slamming a hand on the panel, shutting the door in Lance’s face. 

 

Lance huffed, pouting. Listen, that’s not even fair, it’d totally be a Keith thing to do to sneak out to see Red or something and get caught. He stuck his tongue out at the closed door. Stupid chinchilla.

 

Unfortunately, being that it was still morning, the human tradition of breakfast was still taking place. Pidge was nowhere to be seen, but recalling how many plates and bowls they’d piled up from last time, Lance figured they had stocked up on nutritional value in the green lion. 

Lance chanced a peek from the hall. He spotted Shiro, Allura, and Coran at the table; and watched as Hunk took his meal to go. 

 

He could wait for them to leave, but the idea of showing his face near Keith without any food closed his throat. Even with violet fur and a tail, if looks could kill… 

 

So Lance gulped and prepared himself, putting on an air of ‘nothing’s wrong here!’ in hopes to fool Shiro’s impeccable senses. He drew in a breath and walked into the kitchen casually, yawning as if he’d just woken up for effect. 

 

“G’mornin’, guys!” He snatched two bowls from the kitchen pantry, blearily rubbing his eyes. 

 

Coran beamed at him. “Good morning, Lance! Will you be sitting at the table this morning for the breaking of your night fasting?” 

Lance aimed the nozzle into one bowl. “We talked about this Coran, it’s just ‘breakfast’. One word.” He faked another yawn as he started on the second portion of goo. “And sorry, I can’t…” 

 

“Why’s that, Lance?” Allura seemed to force herself to look away from Shiro, whose eyes remained on her with a sickeningly sweet smile. “And why have you got two bowls? Feeling hungry, are we?” She added with a grin. Seemed forced. 

 

Lance threw one of his signature smirks her way with the added wink. “Why, Princess, are you  _ hitting _ on me?” He noticed Shiro’s eyes drag over to him and winked at him, feeling that silent pride when the black paladin flushed bright pink. 

 

Allura and Coran laughed, Shiro awkwardly trying to chuckle but still looking to Lance like every bit the helpless, lovestruck puppy. 

 

“Nah,” he continued, snatching some space fruits Pidge and Hunk had found earlier that week, putting them in the bowl. “Keith’s sick this morning, he asked me to grab him some food.” 

 

Of all the reactions Lance was expecting, silence wasn’t one of them. He glanced back at the table, finding all three pairs of eyes on his and looking… weird.

 

He felt his face go hot. They hadn’t caught him, had they? It was literally impossible that they  _ knew _ , right?  _ But what if-- _

 

Lance licked his lips, nervous. “Wh-What?” Did they all truly think he  _ hated _ Keith? … No, they had to know that was fake. ...Right?

 

Coran stroked his mustache carefully, making eye contact with Allura. They seemed to communicate like that for a moment, when finally Shiro spoke up:

 

“And you’ll eat too, right?” 

 

...What? He blinked, turning his head just a little to see Shiro’s eyes; narrowed, gentle, but hard looking in a way that meant it wasn’t a question. “You’re going to eat breakfast, McClain, and I dare you to try to fight me on this,”  _ that _ sort of gaze. A quick survey of the other faces in the room and Lance found more of the same, more misplaced worry and-- in the princess’ case anyway--  _ pity. _

 

Lance frowned, turning back. He cleared his throat,

“Of course I’ll eat. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!” He picked up the two bowls carefully, having already poked utensils into the goo so no one had to eat with their fingers. He tried to hide his annoyance at the question with a playful, dramatic scoff. “Now if you’ll excuse me.” 

 

He left the kitchen without looking back, but  _ feeling _ them watch him go. 

 

_ Geeze…  _ Allura and Coran are worried about him now? That’s just great… As if they  _ all _ didn’t have more pressing concerns… Like, gee I don’t know, saving the galaxy from the tyrannical control of a race of evil, purple ferret-cats? And now what, everyone just decided they had to  _ check up on him _ now?

 

Lance felt a sudden itchiness crawl across his skin, making him shiver. He’s  _ fine _ … He doesn’t need coddling, he’s not a child… 

 

Turning the hall, he muttered to himself, “Keith doesn’t treat me like a child…”

 

_ Though to be fair, Keith’s dealing with some personal shit right now… You’re probably not even on his radar.  _

 

Lance flinched, grip on the food tightening ever so slightly. When did his inner voice get to be such an  _ ass? _

 

An ass who was right, but still. 

 

What was it exactly that drew Lance to Keith, anyway? At first, he thought it was the rival thing. The whole idea of having someone in his little bubble that he could use as a model for himself almost. He was almost… fascinated by him. By his drive, his skill. 

Ah, but he knew he could never really measure up to the garrison’s favorite drop out. Sure, he wanted to, he’d love to be able to spar with Keith and actual feel like he had a  _ chance _ , but… it just wasn’t in the cards. He wasn’t good enough, and that was that. 

 

_ Not good enough for a lot of things… _

 

Ouch, as much as Lance was used to the intrusive self-deprecating thoughts, that was a low blow, self. 

 

_ Still _ , Lance let his mind continue on as he neared the dorms.  _ Who would ever be good enough for Keith?  _

 

Someone like Shiro, probably. Not actually Shiro, he and Keith were like brothers, but someone with the same determined nature. Strong and dependable, a real leader. 

 

Not Lance. No, definitely not Lance. 

 

Or maybe Keith would go for someone more like himself? A hotheaded, mullet wearing loner with a glare that could cut glass. Oh yea, that sounds like ‘couple of the year’ for sure. 

 

Lance shook the thoughts from his head. He was supposed to be working on  _ getting over it _ , wasn’t he? Right! Who needs Keith anyway, with his stupid hair, and voice, and how he’s always yelling at him to do better, and the way that he walks, and the way that he could judo flip someone twice Shiro’s size, and how his dimples only show up when he’s laughing, and when he actually smiles for once and you can see it in his eyes, and… a-and… 

 

Ah, sweet quiznak.

 

\--

 

It started that morning, before Lance even arrived. Though, to be fair, Keith didn’t really sleep so much considering… anyway, there was this  _ itch _ . It started on his arms, a small little burning itch that just wouldn’t go away no matter how hard Keith scratched. Then it spread. And got so…  _ so _ much worse. 

 

Keith couldn’t get Lance to leave fast enough, collapsing as soon as his cabin doors swished shut and locked. He ripped the bed’’s comforter off from his shoulders, casting it aside with a gasp of air.

Quiznak, it was like his skin was on  _ fire _ with irritation. He wrapped his arms around himself, wondering absentmindedly that if he squeezed hard enough maybe something will pop and the burning will stop. 

 

No such luck.

 

He ran his nails-- er  _ claws _ over his arms again, skin tingling with the touch but leaving no relief behind. It was as though his skin was made of static. Endlessly loud and noise drowning static. 

 

Keith stood, huffing. Typically if he ever felt restless, he’d make his way to the training room and take out a few levels of gladiators. The automatic movement of combat was almost soothing. He liked the way he didn’t have to think, just move. It cleared his head and he’d just… forget. About this, about Voltron, about saving the universe… 

 

His fingers twitched. 

 

_ I can’t go train like this… _ Keith thought, one ear flicking in annoyance. He began to tap his foot, if only to let out some of the pent up energy. 

 

With a half-muffled groan, Keith paced the area of the room, wincing every time he spun too fast and caused his tail to smack into something. Since when did galra have tails, anyway? 

 

_ They do always wear those skin tight uniforms… plus armor…  _ Keith glanced down at his own clothes; his signature black tee and a pair of a-little-too-big sweatpants Lance brought to him last night. He worked on tucking his tail inside the pants gently, musing,  _ It  _ is _ pretty sensitive.  _

 

Once safely stashed away, Keith increased his pacing speed, his heartbeat rising to match the fast rhythm. 

 

Quiznak, where was Lance? He shook out his arms as he paced, the stimulation somewhat calming his frayed nerves. The kitchen wasn’t that far away from the dorms, and he doubted Lance would detour from his objective. 

 

_ He has been strangely attentive, hasn’t he?  _ Keith thought back to last night, when Lance finally left his room to get some sleep. They’d spent a good while discussing plans, ways they could hide this until Keith was 100% ready to reveal it, as well as… just in case scenarios involving the aftermath of it. 

And Lance’s focus never strayed once. He didn’t make any offhand comments about Allura “only having eyes for him anyway,” and he didn’t try to goad Keith into a petty argument either. He clearly knew that Keith was… well, scared. And he didn’t take advantage. 

 

Keith’s chest warmed and he swallowed. Well anyway, Lance had never been a bad guy to begin with. He was a good friend to everyone, and now he was just being good to Keith. Because he cares. As… as a friend. 

 

Keith had had friends in the past, when he was a child. They only remained in his memory as blurred faces and static for names, but he remembered getting along with them. He could see smiling and swingsets and lakes, but… that was it. When had that all changed? 

 

In any case, he’d never known friendship for what it really was until he met the paladins and Allura and Coran. Keith could watch Hunk and Lance interact for hours, it was endlessly fascinating and wonderful to him. They understood one another on a level Keith couldn’t even hope to reach, and their energies only brought out positive reactions to one another. 

He’d learned that Hunk’s laugh alone could make Pidge break out into giggles. And whenever Lance would flirt with Allura and get shut down, Hunk would be there to pretend to swoon for him. Pidge and Coran could talk for hours about alien planets, Allura and Hunk gossip with the mice on the regular, and even Shiro would indulge Lance into discussions about Earth; what they miss, who in the garrison smelled the worst… 

 

Keith didn’t know it could be like that. 

 

He’d never counted on their initial interaction would be anything but temporary. Then the castle ship took off, and well. Here he was. 

 

When Lance proclaimed them rivals, Keith was shocked to find how secretly happy he was. Having never been really anything to anyone before and all. 

 

_ Whatever happened to that ‘rival’ thing, anyway? _ Keith smirked a bit, waiting for his so called rival to bring him breakfast and be his confidant about his alien troubles.  _ He’s surprisingly caring,  _ Keith thought. And even he had to admit to noticing Lance’s behavior changing gradually since their first encounter. It’d been awhile since Keith last thought of Lance as ‘insufferable.’ 

 

He paused, glancing to the door. Keith never actually hated Lance to begin with, the entire rival business was  _ his _ idea, but… did he  _ like _ Lance? 

 

_ Sure _ , his mind prompted. If you don’t hate someone, you like them, right? Keith liked everyone on Team Voltron. 

 

Though, it’s different with Shiro… 

_ Naturally, _ his brain supplied.  _ Because Shiro is like a brother, so that bond is deeper than just a friend.  _

 

Keith’s eyebrows knitted together, his ears folding downward as he sucked in his lip and chewed thoughtlessly. 

Did he like  _ Lance _ like a brother? ...No. Yes? He liked Lance more than he liked, say, Allura-- but he didn’t like the idea of Lance as a brother… But he felt like their bond was… stronger? 

 

He shook his head. It was just Lance being a good friend to someone in need, and if it helped them bond more as teammates, then awesome. Keith decided to stop thinking about it so hard.

 

At a good time too, as the door to his cabin wooshed open and Lance stepped inside, holding out a bowl to Keith. 

 

He smiled, broadly. “Soup’s on!” 

 

Faster than Keith would care to admit, he grabbed the bowl from Lance’s grasp, hurriedly beginning to eat the contents, ignoring the soup comment. Which this clearly wasn’t. 

 

Not that Keith cared, making himself a seat on his bed and taking a bite of whatever alien fruit Lance had brought. It was deep red, with soft peach-like skin. He bit it carefully, and the pressure sent  juice exploding into his mouth. The sweet syrup dripped down his chin, into his lap.

Across from him with his own breakfast, Lance let out a laugh, pointing with his spoon to Keith’s messy face. 

 

“Excited, are we?” He asked, smirking.

Keith frowned, sloppily using his arm as a napkin and shoving the remaining fruit into his cheeks. Sweet, with a little sour sting. 

 

“Shutup,” he mumbled, voice muffled. “M’hungry.” 

 

“Oh, I can see that, mullet. Your bowl is already empty.” 

 

With a start, Keith realized it was as he plopped the last spoonful of goo into his mouth. He knew he was eating kind of fast but, was he really  _ that _ hungry? 

 

Lance shifted on the bed, holding out his own bowl. “Here, you can take mine.” He set the food in front of Keith and then sat back, hands folded in his lap. 

 

Keith eyed the food, feeling himself salivating, but looked to Lance, confused. 

 

“Wait.. what are you gonna eat?” 

“Me?” Lance seemed surprised. 

 

Keith made a face, grabbing the fruit Lance hadn’t eaten and holding it out for him. 

 

“Yes, you. I know you’re hungry too, I’ve seen you eat three bowls of this crap in the morning before.” He nodded to the morsel in his hand. “So, here.”

 

Lance hesitated. Why was he so unsure? Keith waved the fruit a little. Was he sick or something? Was he allergic to this kind of alien fruit? 

 

Tentatively, Lance reached out a hand for the fruit, still wearing a bit of an unsteady expression. Keith studied him for a moment before dropping the fruit into his open palm, watching him carefully. 

 

Then it was like he snapped out of it, smiling in his usual Lance way, though somehow a little more uncomfortable, vulnerable. 

 

“Gee, Keith, didn’t know you cared.” His voice was teasing, but something about the words made Keith pause from where he’d resumed shoveling goo down his throat. 

Swallowing, Keith blinked at Lance, cocking his head. “Of course I do, Lance.” 

 

Lance, who was in mid bite of the fruit, abruptly choked and began coughing. It was over soon enough, Lance wiping the juice from his lips and looking at Keith in a strange, wide eyed sort of way. 

 

It was then, of course, that Allura’s voice sparked over the intercom system.

 

“Paladins, we are being hailed by a passing ship. Everyone in your suits and on your guard. They may not be friendly…” 

 

Lance momentarily looked lost, setting the fruit down on the bed as he listened to the orders. He stood suddenly, and turned the door. 

 

Keith’s blood spiked, and he snatched his sleeve, halting him. “Wait! What about me, they’re going to see…” His ears flattened as he looked down at himself. 

Lance shook his head. “Keep your helmet on and don’t make eye contact with anyone. I’ll be there to help, okay?” 

 

With a gulp, Keith nodded, letting Lance go. Once gone, he opened his wardrobe and stared at the red paladin armor, worried. 

  
“Keep your helmet on,” he muttered softly. “Don’t make eye contact.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> starcee.tumblr.com
> 
> come yell at me for taking forever writing this... we will get to the good juicy bits i swear


	7. The Yunirooniuns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY this took forever, but it ended up longer than i thought and i didnt want to just cut it in half at an awkward spot and leave u hangin in a weird place, yknow? 
> 
> so i hope its okay, thank u so much for the kudos/comments/bookmarks u guys have no idea how much that means to me im so happy there are at least some ppl that put up with me and my stuff<3

“We’ve been hailed by a passing ship, but we’ve already established that they’re friendly. It appears they’ve been attacked, and they could use our help.”

 

Allura stretched out her hands, the holoscreen in front of her expanding big enough for the paladins to see. Depicted was one small, visibly beaten cargo ship-- and on a smaller screen beside the damaged vessel, one of its inhabitants. 

 

Allura nodded. “Captain Shplok.”

The alien jumped, then hurriedly smoothed down his uniform with a light blue, three fingered hand. 

“Y-Yes, hell-hello Princ-Princess and.. A-and Voltr-tron.”

 

Lance couldn’t help but giggle a bit, seeing the captain look so flustered to be in their presence. Pidge even lifted a small hand to wave, Shiro pushed it back down. 

 

“As- a-as you can see…” stuttered out the smallish furred creature. “Our sh-shh-ship has been he-heavily-ly damaged.” He reached one of it’s six three-fingered hands to adjust the rectangular shape of glass floating in front of his eyes. “We were att-ttacked by… ga-gal-galra.”

 

The feel of the room got suddenly colder. Lance threw a quick glance Keith’s way, but the red paladin’s head was down, visor hiding his face. 

Allura’s gaze had hardened, but she relaxed her shoulders. “Though, no one was hurt and nothing taken?” Her voice was so diplomatic and calm. 

 

The captain nodded. “C-correct. Still, our en-engine has stopped, and we are a-at a loss. We’re due f-for a supply drop, and if we don’t ma-make it…” Captain Shplok shook out the two pairs of hands in front of him in a gesture of extreme panic.

 

“Hm. Most unusual.” Allura muttered under her breath. She straightened up. “We’ll send someone over to help with repairs immediately, Captain, please await their arrival.” And she cut the feed before the timid alien could even manage out a ‘thank you.’ 

 

“Coran.”

“Yes, Princess?”

“I’d like you to run a thermal scan over the ship please. Take a headcount as to all is onboard as well as survey the internal damage to the engine.”

 

Shiro stepped forward. “And what about us, Princess?” Ever the soldier. Ever the leader. Lance fought the urge to roll his eyes, then felt a little guilty about that. 

 

The princess nodded at him. “Shiro. You and Keith will head over and keep an eye on the captain. Pidge and Hunk will have a look at the engine.” She turned as Coran caught her attention, showing her the thermal scans on another screen.

 

Lance felt his blood turn to ice and he bit on the inside of his cheek.  _ What about me?  _ He glanced to Shiro, but he was busy talking to Keith, who looked nervous and out of place with his visor on in the castle. 

 

_ Ah, he’ll be alright… _ No one had said anything about the visor anyway. Lance figured everyone just assumed ‘typical battle ready Keith,’ and moved on. What could happen anyway? From the looks of those alien guys, they didn’t seem like the kind to put up any fight. Not one that Keith wouldn’t win, anyway. 

Still, Lance noticed Keith’s stiffness being more ‘stiffy’ than usual. Shiro seemed to be discussing the mission, and Keith was as still as a statue, giving curt nods instead of really answering. 

 

_ Eh. _ Lance thought.  _ He’ll be fine.  _ At least this mission wasn’t like the one on Myruid… he shivered. Even now that he knew Keith’s secret, it still left a lot of questions unanswered… What was that look, before Lance fell? It was confusion and shock, sure, but Keith looked like he was almost… in  _ pain _ . 

 

“Right then, Lance.”

 

The blue paladin jumped at the sound of Allura’s voice. She eyed him warily, clearing her throat. “Lance.. I want you to take the blue lion and patrol the area around the castle and their ship, watch out for any activity.”

 

He grimaced. “Like an ambush… got it.” The princess dipped her head with a grave expression, Coran pulling up the thermal scans for everyone to see. 

 

“The scans are showing only four Yunirooniuns on board, and--”

“Wait, wait,” Pidge held up their hands. “Yunirooniuns?”

Coran twirled the ends of his mustache with a grin. “Yes! A race of hexapods from the planet Yunrin, where the primary source of energy comes from the Great Tree, a large plant-like structure that encompasses much of the surface area of the planet. Their main source of trade lies within the roots of the tree, a liquidy kind of balm that can be used for healing purposes. Their extra hands make for fast digging!”

 

Allura pulled up an image of the planet Yunrin on the holoscreen. It was mostly a deep pink color, and the ‘Great Tree’ rose off the planet, branches reaching out to the stars. The leaves were iridescent, catching light from the surrounding mini suns and reflecting off different colors. It was… beautiful. 

 

“The Yunirooniuns, as I recall them, are a timid species.” Allura explained. “They’ve never known war, nor has their own planet experienced any crime; at least, none caused by a Yunirooniun.” 

 

“Wait,” Shiro stepped toward the screen, where an image of the Yunirooniun ship was displayed. “If they were attacked by galra, why weren’t they killed? Or at least, their ship ravaged for parts and the crew taken for prisoners?”

 

Allura bit her lip, turning her eyes to Shiro’s. “That is my concern. The Yunirooniuns do not, as far as I’m aware, engage in combat. Even if provoked, their first instinct is to run away. If the galra truly did attack them…”

 

“Then they should be dead.” Keith finished. It was the first time he’d said anything during the briefing. 

 

Hunk raised a hand. “But it’s been ten thousand years hasn’t it? Couldn’t they have evolved and adapted in that time?”

 

With a pensive face, Allura and Coran both shrugged. “It’s surely possible!” Coran supplied. “But if we judge by the scans alone, their ship harbors little if any defensive systems.”

 

Lance cleared his throat, gaining everyone’s attention. He straightened. “In any case, they won’t be pulling any fast ones on us, will they. This seems like a simple in and out mission to me.”

 

Allura sighed. “I agree, we won’t be able to do much for them by standing around discussing it. Alright, paladins!” She clapped once. “Let’s get to work.” 

 

_ Alright, breathe… _ Lance turned to head toward his hangar, when he was stopped by a tightening grip on his arm. 

 

He hated to admit that he was a little surprised to see Keith there, and just underneath the shade of his visor, Lance could see him chewing on his lip anxiously. He let Keith gently tug him to the side of the room, all the while nervously fidgeting with the bayard in his other hand. 

 

“Lance, I… I can’t do this.” His eyes were wide from inside his helmet, pleading and frightened. He kept his voice low, but Lance could still hear the shakiness, the fear. 

 

“It’ll be okay,” Lance reassured, swallowing. At least, he’d hoped it would be. Why wouldn’t it be, right? Right… “Just stick close to Shiro and this will--”

 

“That’s the problem, Lance!” Keith threw a glance over his shoulder, watching as Shiro and Allura seemed to be deep into a conversation. “You don’t think Shiro is going to notice that something’s…  _ wrong _ with me?”

 

Lance frowned. He shook off Keith’s arm and glared. “Nothing is ‘wrong’ with you, Keith.” The red paladin growled ever so lightly, shaking his head. 

 

“I don’t think Shiro is going to think the same way about galra as you seem to, Lance.” 

 

“Oh come on, Shiro is the most understanding person on this ship, not to mention he really cares about you. About all of us. If anyone is going to be as gentle and supportive about this as I am, it’ll be him.” 

 

“‘Gentle’?”

“What?”

“You called yourself gentle, McClain, when have you or I ever been gentle?”

 

_ When have you or I… _ He stopped, watching Keith scowl and grumble and nervously kick his feet waiting for Shiro. 

So maybe Lance hadn’t been so gentle in the beginning… His self-proclaimed rivalry probably came off as a little more rough than gentle. But still, he considered himself to be a good friend… wasn’t he? 

 

He cleared his throat. “Ex _ cuse _ you, Kogane, I brought you breakfast this morning didn’t I?” Lance waved a hand when Keith opened his mouth to retort. “It doesn’t matter, alright? You’re safe with Shiro. And when this is over, maybe we could think about…” 

 

Keith’s expression darkened, and he dropped his gaze to the floor. Lance looked him over and sighed. There was no use bickering now.

“Yea we’ll figure it out later, okay? Get goin’, Shiro’s waiting for you.” 

 

The red paladin didn’t even so much as look up before he walked away from Lance to where Shiro was now waiting. Concern was painted across the black paladin’s face, but Lance didn’t think too much about it. Shiro was concerned for most everyone. It was a nice way to be, but who was left to worry about their leader? 

 

Lance drifted his stare over to Allura, who now waved to Shiro and Keith as they headed to the pod hangar. When they disappeared, she placed a hand over her chest and breathed deep, nibbling on her lower lip. Anxious.

_ Ohh… _

He smiled softly to himself. 

 

“Don’t worry princess!” He shouted as he ran towards the blue lion’s hangar. “Shiro’s gonna come back just as handsome as when he left, I’ll make sure of it!” And he winked, hearing her squeak out his name before he turned down the hall.

 

\--

 

_ This pod is small, it’s too small… _ Keith stretched out his legs in front of him, but his knees hit the dash controls. He was already feeling cramped inside his armor, his ears pressed nearly flat against his head and his tail wrapped tightly around his left thigh. Even his hands, with their new extended claws, were making his armored gloves a tight fit. And now he couldn’t even stretch out his legs because the goddamn  _ pod-- _

 

“Is something wrong?” 

 

Shiro’s voice was steady and grounding, and it eased Keith’s flared nerves somewhat, but he still felt himself go stiff at the question. 

 

“Just.. tight in here, that’s all.” There. Not a total lie, not the complete truth. 

 

Still, Keith could tell that Shiro wasn’t buying it. He watched him for a second, as if that brotherly stare would get Keith to confess, before turning back to the pod controls with a small, barely hidden sigh. 

Keith fidgeted in his seat, the material of the suit under his armor irritating his new, furry skin. God, what would Lance do in this situation? Probably make some stupid joke, which everyone would laugh at and have this great big team bonding moment, lifting the spirits of everyone in the room… 

 

_ I can’t do that, _ he thought. He didn’t know any jokes, plus Lance had a way of telling the joke itself that was endearing, and Keith could never copy that. Besides, it was just him and Shiro, he should be comfortable around Shiro right? Team leader, all around good guy, trustworthy and honest Shiro, the black paladin and the head of Voltron?

Even so, Keith felt a crawling nervousness around him, and decided the best course of action was to be cautious about what he did and said. Meaning currently, to say and do nothing.

 

“I’m worried about Lance,” Shiro said quietly, almost to himself. He glanced at Keith, clearly trying to indicate that he wanted his thoughts on the matter. 

 

Keith’s mouth felt dry. “Worried?” He coughed out. He remembered back to Lance’s weird little explosion in the training room, how he had a sort of meltdown before completely changing the subject. “Worried why? Do you think he’ll do something intentional?” 

 

Shiro considered it, but quickly shook his head. “No, no… wait, he spoke to you? What did he say?” 

 

Keith shrugged. “Just went on about how everyone is amazing and how he feels replaceable…” He stared at his hands in his lap, twiddling with his fingers. “He doesn’t… he doesn’t really believe that, does he?” 

 

A sigh. “Apparently he’s been like this for a long time, according to Hunk. Just seems to put everyone else in the world before himself, whether they need it or not.” Shiro ran a hand over his face. “I had to do a lot of medical training, back at the Garrison. Not just the physical stuff, they also taught us the signs of mental illnesses; severe anxiety, PTSD…” 

 

“...depression?” Keith mumbled. His stomach was in knots and the knots were on fire. He’d figured Lance was maybe insecure but… it added up that way, didn’t it? 

 

Shiro nodded. “Right, that’s what Hunk suggested. He said he felt like he’s known for awhile, but… at the Garrison, there wasn’t much he could do about it without getting Lance’s piloting skills called into question..”

 

Right. The Garrison. Keith grit his teeth at the memory of such a place. It was one of the top academies for pilots, one of the Six Elites in the world back on Earth. But while the professors were incredible and the tech was new age and top of the line, the protocols and strict rules were too military like in nature for Keith’s liking. 

 

Rules and Keith never were the best of friends.

 

“Still,” Shiro continued. “Pidge mentioned being able to come up with a formula for an antidepressant, and Coran said he could replicate it as best as he knows how. I don’t know… maybe it’d help him.”

 

“He won’t take it.”

“... What? What do you mean?”

“He’s not gonna take it, Shiro,” Keith shifted in his seat, turning his body to the older paladin’s. Even with his visor down, he risked meeting Shiro’s gaze. “Lance isn’t going to take any meds you give him, he’s too much of a hothead to even realize that his behavior isn’t average. He’d probably just yell at you and sulk for a week. He won’t take it.” 

 

Shiro sat silent for a moment, drinking in Keith’s words. Keith felt his face grow warmer and he turned away again, stammering, “I-I mean, it’s a good idea, b-but you can’t just give him meds and expect him to… be better… we all have to help…” 

 

An odd look passed over Shiro’s face, and Keith felt his insides burn when he recognized it as pride.  _ Ahh.. quiznak.  _

 

“You guys have really been getting along lately, haven’t you?”

 

Thankfully, Keith didn’t have to answer that as their pod neared the Yunirooniun’s vessel, the pod bay doors opening for docking. 

 

“Welcome, Voltron.” The Yunirooniun who greeted them wasn’t the same one from the video feed. This one’s fur was white, and she wore a different uniform. Crew, then. 

 

She twittered with her fingers as they got out of the pod, muttering quietly until they approached. Her voice was almost a whisper, “Your compatriots have already arrived, they are this way…” She spun to walk, and hastily gestured with her two left hands for them to follow. 

 

The insides of the ship itself were visibly banged up. As they walked, Keith dipped his hand into one of the deep impressions left into the wall. He also spotted a few deep cuts. 

 

The Yunirooniun’s bright blue eyes caught Keith’s, and she mumbled, “Cheaply made…” 

 

The hallway narrowed a bit before opening into what Keith figured was a casual, living room type area. Inside, Hunk was gabbing away excitedly with a Yunirooniun with wide, pink eyes, and Pidge studied their scans of the ship's engine, not really listening to the captain, who stood beside them fretfully speaking. 

 

_ Huh.. _ Keith noted the bruising along the captain’s cheekbone and collar, as well as the bandages around one of his arms.

 

“Hunk,” Shiro greeted as they approached, and the yellow paladin swiveled his head around. “How’s it… uh… going?” 

 

Hunk’s eyes were shining and he smiled. “Great! H’vlaki was just telling me about their medical bay! It’s crazy advanced, Shiro, like I know our Altean stuff is pretty good, but they’ve got these medicinal herbs that grow under water--”

 

“Took you long enough, Shiro.” Pidge gave him a sideways glare. “We were starting to worry you got lost. Did you make sure to kiss your girlfriend goodbye?”

 

Shiro’s face enflamed in a way Keith had never seen before, and the sight brought a smug smile to his lips. 

 

He tried to hide the amusement from his voice. “Shiro, I didn’t know you and Allura were dating.”

“We-- we  _ aren’t _ , I was just-- we--”

Pidge took their place next to Keith, leaning into him with a smirk. “Ah, young love. Don’t worry Shiro, I’m sure she’ll notice you sooner or later.”

“ _ Pidge--! _ ”

 

“F-Forgive me,” Captain Shplok shakily interrupted. “The en-engine is.. Is th-that way. H’vlaki and Junw’k  will take you there.”

 

Hiding behind the back of his palm, Hunk whispered to Keith, “Did he say that one’s name is Junk?” 

Keith shrugged, shaking his head.  _ Alien names, man. _

 

The pink eyed Yunirooniun- H’vlaki, waved enthusiastically for Pidge and Hunk to follow her. Junw’k rolled her eyes, following behind the group, looking less than thrilled to be volunteered. 

 

Shplok tugged at his fingers-- three of them, on each… appendage. “We are.. M-most grateful you st-stopped for  _ us _ , paladins of Vol-Voltron. We never thought…” His eyes narrowed at Keith, and he gulped, nose twitching. 

 

Keith felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, and tried to look as… well, as human as possible. How keen were the Yunis sense of smell? He’d hoped wearing his paladin armor would dampen any of his new scent somewhat, just in case, but… 

 

Shplok cleared his throat, turning back to look at Shiro, much to Keith’s relief. “Never thought we’d g-get any help out here. We are m-most lucky.”

 

“Well,” Shiro put on his most humbled expression, smiling in a comforting way. “It’s what we do.” 

 

“Yes, we-well…” The Yunirooniun captain fiddled with the buttons on his shirt, small nose scrunching up and eyes darting around nervously. Keith would consider it odd, if the alien hadn’t been acting this way the entire time.. 

 

“Are yo-you all… ah… of one species?” Shplok asked, sounding genuinely curious. 

 

Shiro blinked, surprised by the bold question. “Human? Oh, yes-- all of the paladins are human. Is that… strange?” 

 

“Not at all,” Shplok answered calmly. “J-Just. Rare, I suppose.” He turned his face to Keith then, and gave a shy but polite smile. 

 

The relief Keith felt was small, but enough to soothe the nerves that had been so frazzled. If the captain could smell his galraness, it seemed like he was keeping it to himself… 

 

It was then that Pidge and Hunk returned, the former looking spectacularly annoyed, arms crossed as the latter held a holoscreen of the engine, poking and prodding as the 2D image became a 3D blueprint.

 

“That was fast,” remarked Shiro. Pidge scowled harder, if that were even possible.

 

“Yea, their engine is gonna be fine,” They grumbled, side eyeing the Yunirooniun addressed as H’vlaki, who only appeared ashamed. 

 

Captain Shplok adjusted his specs. “Is this n-not good news?”

 

Hunk swiped his hand to the left, and the image of the engine disappeared. He stashed the screen away, shrugging. “It’s just a little weird is all. The engine wasn’t damaged, just missing a part or two vital for functioning. Which Junw’k found spares of in the storage bay, perfect condition, not even hard to find or anything.” 

 

_ Huh. _ That was odd. Keith found himself gauging the response of the crew, but H’vlaki appeared truly embarrassed at the oversight of such an easy fix. And Junw’k still wore the expressionless, bored emotion she had on earlier. As for the third Yuni… Keith realized then he didn’t know her name. And that she had disappeared somewhere while Shiro and Shplok were talking.

 

Something about this didn’t feel right. 

 

He turned to reach for Shiro, but stopped himself when Shplok began to profusely thank Hunk and Pidge for their services, looking to be outrageously thankful. 

 

“W-We apologize  _ si-sincerely _ for our terribly idio-idiotic mistake,” the captain was shaking Pidge’s hand so hard, the green paladin was wobbling forward and backward, looking uncomfortable with being touched and handled so roughly. Hunk just smiled in a this-is-just-to-be-polite kind of way, and Keith could feel his nervous energy begin to build. 

 

Shiro’s diplomatic expression returned. “It was no trouble, truly. We’re just glad you can carry on your way safely.” 

 

The captain stared at Shiro with widened eyes, and Keith could see that he was fighting back tears, evidently incredibly thankful for their help. 

 

The Yunirooniuns escorted the paladins back to the pod bay, where Keith saw the third Yuni reappear, slipping into the room quietly like she’d been there all along. He held his tongue, figuring it’d be better to tell Shiro once they were all safely back aboard the castle ship. These aliens weren’t fighters by nature, according to Allura. 

  
But Keith didn’t trust them.


	8. We Don't Always Get a Chance To Do It Our Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so um
> 
> sorryyy

Lance leaned back in his pilot’s seat, letting out the most frustrated, exasperated of all groans. He heard Blue’s equally as irritated response in his head; a soft, understanding growl. 

 

“We didn’t even get to  _ do _ anything,” he kicked his feet out in front of him, full of annoyed, restless energy. “Everyone else had an important job and we were, what? Guard duty? Ugh…” 

 

He was honestly a little torn. Sure, he was frustrated at the fact that this must be a punishment of some kind from Shiro for not taking better care of himself, but it’s not like he would have gotten himself killed from just going with them as support, right! Still, it must mean that Shiro told the rest of the team about his… “problem,” since that was what they were calling it. Lance felt like they were a big space family, sure, but… it was a little uncomfortable knowing that they could all be in his head...

Though, the mission went off without a bust, and he  _ was  _ at least glad that there was no danger. No danger for Keith-- or anyone! ..to get involved in. 

 

Lance closed his eyes, his head falling back. He frowned, muttering, “Ew.” Blue gave a sympathetic purr, and Lance felt his chest thaw just a bit. 

 

He’d get better at this giving up thing eventually. 

 

After dropping Blue off at the hangar, Lance considered calling it quits and heading for his room. It wasn’t like he had anything to report anyway, plus the idea of seeing Shiro or any of the others right now made his stomach turn. How many times would he have to say that he’s fine before they finally believe in him enough to make him part of the team again?

 

_ You’re still part of the team, Lance.  _ Shiro’s voice, sincere, made Lance grimace.  _ Yea, well, it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it. _

 

He hadn’t seen any action since he sprang from cryo, and even while training, he can  _ feel _ Shiro’s eagle watch on him-- like he’s just  _ waiting _ for Lance to fuck up somehow so he can make that ‘I told you so’ face and send him to the showers! And the  _ faces! _ Everyone would be looking at him with these scared, sad faces, like they thought he was just going to take a step and shatter into pieces if they weren’t careful!

 

“Ugh!” Lance tore off his helmet and chucked it against the hangar wall, much to Blue’s chagrin.  He felt her soothing purrs tickle down his spine, and his body went warm, as if Blue was trying to comfort him with the space lion version of a hug. 

 

He steadied himself. Blue didn’t deserve this, she didn’t need to worry about him. He was her paladin. Lance is the blue paladin. He’s strong and important to the team, whether they like it or not.

 

“‘M sorry, Blue,” he mumbled, crouching to pick up his helmet. “It’s all just so… frustrating.. But I’m okay. I’ll be okay, I promise..” 

 

Lance felt the mental equivalent of a protective but trusting gaze, and knew that Blue believed him. Or at least, trusted him. 

 

He blew out a sigh. He really should go meet up with the team anyway, see what happened on the ship. If anything, he could check on Keith, too...

 

An ugly version of Lance’s voice rang in his ears, mocking,  _ What happened to ‘giving up?’ _

 

_ This is different,  _ Lance convinced himself, already headed that way.  _ I’m the only person Keith really has right now, and this is kind of a big deal, so… _

 

-

 

Lance walked into the control room, the last to arrive, while Allura and Shiro were discussing something seemingly very serious if their pinched faces were anything to judge by. 

 

“Hey,” he elbowed Hunk. “What’s goin’ on, what did I miss?”

 

Hunk rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know, man, we all just got a really weird vibe from those Yunis. Sure, it was an easy mission, but it felt…  _ too _ easy, yknow?” 

 

Pidge was furiously typing away at their laptop, crisscross on the floor. “I installed a small tracking device in their engine, just in case, but it’s already being jammed. We haven’t been back for, what, maybe ten minutes? And from what Allura’s told me, they shouldn’t have access to that sort of technology unless it was given to them..” They took a breath, rubbing one distressed hand through their unruly hair. “I don’t even think they  _ found _ it, I think they just played the jamming frequency as precaution as soon as we left.” 

 

Lance swallowed. “Yikes…” It did sound  _ way _ too fishy for a simple grab-n-go type mission… 

 

“Plus,” Hunk pulled out the holoscreen and pulled up images of the Yunirooniun ship’s engine. “See that?”

 

He squinted at the image. “Uh… see what?”

“Exactly. There’s no visible damage  _ at all _ in their engine room. And the parts that were missing weren’t just ripped out like you’d expect, they were clearly very carefully removed.”

 

From the floor, Pidge added, “Shiro and Allura already decided to keep the castle’s defenses up for as long as we can until we can wormhole out of here. Coran suggested we wait until the Yunis are farther out, as to not draw attention to ourselves.” 

 

“Right…” Lance breathed deep. There was definitely something going on here, and he had to be on his toes if he wanted to--

 

“Lance.”

 

Lance jumped with an embarrassingly high pitched squeak, whipping around to see Keith, who had snuck up behind him. 

 

_ Motherfu-- _

 

“Keith!” Lance hisses it, knowing that his face has gone red, he could almost feel the smoke coming out of his ears. “Make some  _ noise _ when you walk, man-!”

 

Keith had his arms crossed, and from what Lance could see through his visor, he wore an unimpressed and slightly bemused expression. 

 

“All I did was walk over here. Are you on edge or something?”

“Well, duh! Hunk and Pidge cued me in on this creepy Yunirooniun business. Aren’t you a little worried, too?” 

“I, uh, guess so.” Keith’s arms fell to his sides and his fingers fidgeted with themselves. “Actually,” his voice dropped to a whisper. “Lance, I, uh… I have something I should probably tell you so..” 

 

The betrayal of his heart squeezing in his chest didn’t even register in his eyes when Lance gave a chipper, “Sure!” and made to follow Keith somewhere private.  _ Giving up… huh. _

 

“Excuse me, Keith?” Allura waved at him, looking confused and a little concerned. “Lance mentioned you were feeling ill this morning. I suppose asking after a mission is a little late but, I do hope you’re feeling better?” 

 

Shiro, Hunk, and Pidge all lifted their eyes to stare at Keith, and Lance felt his blood go cold. 

 

“Ah,” Keith opened his mouth hesitantly to answer. “I-I’m fine, princess.”

 

“Are you sure?” Coran chimed in, looking over from where he’d been making plans for a jump. “I wouldn’t mind giving you a free scanning in the medical pods.” 

 

Keith stiffened next to him, and Lance quickly put on a smile. 

 

“Naahh, he was probably faking it all anyway!” He laughed, waving his hands dismissively. Shiro shook his head. 

 

“Keith, you  _ were _ acting a little weird earlier. Why not get checked out, just to be on the safe side?”

 

“He’s probably got heatstroke,” Hunk pointed to Keith’s helmet. “He hasn’t taken it off since this morning.”

 

Allura tutted, “Heatstroke? Is this a serious human disease?” She turned to Coran, who threw his hands up in a shrug.

 

“N-No really,” Keith was saying, hands already on his helmet to keep it on. “I’m just fine! I just-- It’s-- It’s just--”

 

“A BAD HAIR DAY!” Lance exclaimed, arms stretched wide in front of the red paladin. He laughed again. “You know Keith and his stupid mullet! For once he’d decided to spare us the sight!”

 

Pidge’s eyes narrowed. “Lance… is something going on?” They were slowly setting their laptop aside to give this their full attention.

 

“You know you can tell us man,” Hunk added, watching the two carefully. “Lance, do you know what’s wrong with Keith?”

 

Shiro worried his lower lip. “Is it serious?”

 

“If it’s serious, he should go to the medical pod!” Allura’s arms crossed. Coran copied the motion with a curt nod. 

 

“Are you hiding something?” Pidge was standing now, walking closer. Lance’s heart was beating faster with every step they took, and he shook his head fiercely. 

 

“Pffffft, n-no!! Of.. of  _ course _ not! Why would I-- I wouldn’t--”

Hunk inched closer now. “Lance. You know I can tell when you’re lying man, what’s the big deal?”

 

Lance couldn’t help but squeak a bit. He’d always told Hunk  _ everything _ before, and now.. He swallowed, shaking his head again. “It’s.. nothing…”

 

Hunk frowned. “Dude.”

 

“Wait-- Keith? Where are you going?” Pidge reached out an arm, but Shiro beat them to it, moving swiftly to block Keith from leaving. 

 

Keith jumped when he bumped into Shiro’s chest. “Ah-! Shiro, I’m-- I’m fine.” He sidestepped, intending to go around, but Shiro held out his arm, the one the galra gave him, and Keith cowered away from it. 

 

“Keith,” Lance could see that Shiro was trying to be gentle about this, but clearly wasn’t going to let the subject go. “Take off your helmet.”

 

“If it’s a serious disease, you could have contracted it from Myruid,” Coran was saying. “It has a few illnesses of its own, but it is a common trading planet, so creatures from all over the universe have left their marks. It’s very easily a simple sickness if it is one, but all the same, we should get you checked out in a--”

 

“No!”

 

“C’mon, Keith tell us what’s wrong--”

 

“You know you don’t have to hide anything from us, man--”

 

“Keith, take off your helmet--”

 

“Please, if it is a sickness, we must eradicate it before it spreads--”

 

Everyone was talking all at once and Lance felt his feet go heavy as he tried to move toward Keith, who was shaking his head and being backed against a wall. 

 

_ Fuck, ohhhh quiznak _ . Lance managed to make it to where the group was cornering Keith, and he tried yelling out to get their attention, but nothing was working.  _ Oh fuck, oh shit. _

 

Seemingly fed up with it all, Hunk planted his hands firmly on the sides of Keith’s helmet. The red paladin was reaching up to pull away his hands when Hunk tugged upward, the helmet coming with him. 

Lance was watching in slow motion, Keith still reaching for his helmet while his face was slowly being revealed. His heart was in his throat, but still he tried to push through past Shiro and Coran to grab Keith, to grab his hand and to book it-- that’s all he could think of, running, need to run. 

 

He froze when he saw wide yellow eyes. And he wasn’t the only one who did. 

 

Getting a hold of himself, Lance finally shoved his way past, standing in front of a frankly horrified Keith. 

 

They were both breathing heavy. Lance shook his head, slow. “Keith, I-I’m so sorr--”

 

“LANCE!” And then he was being yanked backward and away, and something within him snapped, and he sent a hard kick toward the direction of whoever had a hold on his collar, and he kept at it until they dropped him. 

 

Coran had taken a place in front of Allura, looking fiercely protective while the princess’ face was contorted in confusion and fear. Hunk was in front of Pidge, and Shiro… 

 

From behind him, Lance heard Keith whisper, “L-Lance..” in a soft, scared tone. Lance gulped, stretching his hands out in front of the now exposed Keith as he stared their leader, Shiro, in the eyes… he may have been shaking a little bit, but c’mon, this is a startling situation!

 

Not to mention Shiro wore an _petrifyingly_ _dark_ expression, and the fact that he was looking past Lance and directly at Keith was also giving him goosebumps. 

Keith’s hand grabbed at Lance’s arm, squeezing through the armor. He was also shaking… 

 

“Lance..?” 

 

He glanced slowly to Pidge, moving only his eyes and trying to keep in between Shiro and Keith. He swallowed. “M-Mmhm?”

 

Pidge’s voice was uncharacteristically uneven and faint as they tried moving past Hunk, who determinedly stopped them. “Is.. is that.. Who is that?”

 

“Wh… who..?” They didn’t believe it was Keith. Lance looked into Hunk’s eyes. Into Shiro’s, and Allura’s, and Coran’s, and none of them. None of them held any spark of recognition towards the red paladin, everyone’s faces only screamed ‘enemy’ and ‘threat.’ 

 

That didn’t sit well with Lance at all. How long had they known them for? God, it felt like years, and still, they stood there in front of him ready to pounce on one of their own and for what? What  _ justifies _ that kind of betrayal?

His blood was running hotter with every fucking  _ glare _ .

 

“Pidge…” Keith’s ears had flattened into submission, and the gloved hand holding tightly to Lance’s arm revealed the emerging claws that he could no longer hold back. His voice cracked, “It’s me. It’s Keith, this is me.”

 

Pidge swallowed, nodding slowly. “For… for how long?”

 

Keith was shaking. “I don’t know… I don’t know.” Lance felt the weight of Keith’s head as he pressed his face against his back. He was murmuring, shaking his head. “‘M sorry.. I’m so sorry.”

 

“Keith--” Pidge’s outstretched hand was quickly pulled away by Hunk as Shiro shoved them both aside. 

 

“Lance. Move.” 

 

“What? No.” 

 

“ _ Lance-- _ ” 

 

Suddenly, Allura was in front of Lance, holding her arms out to halt Shiro’s approach. Her eyes were fixed in a cold gaze, locked into Shiro’s face. 

 

She breathed, her voice was steady. “Shiro, please. We’re all confused here, but this is no way for a paladin of Voltron to act. Leave.” 

 

The look of shock that came over Shiro’s expression left Lance a little shaken by the princess’ authoritative tone. His shoulders straightened, and he pointed an accusing finger toward Keith, and Lance met his stare with a dark, protective look of his own. 

“That’s  _ not _ Keith, and you’re asking me to--”

 

“I’m not asking.” Allura corrected. “I am ordering you to leave this area, and should you decide not to, I will have Coran remove you by force.” Her eyes softened, somehow sadder. “Please, Shiro. We will sort this out, but this sort of violence is unacceptable, especially toward one of our own. I… I feel as though I’ve come to learn much about human nature from my time with you-- you all, and this… this is  _ inhuman _ .

 

The remainder of us will move to the medical bay to discuss this change in development, in the meantime, you may be about the castle on your own so long as you refrain from interfering. Go, Shiro.” 

 

Lance watched how quickly Shiro turned and stalked out of the room, towards the dormitories. His expression was a mix of pain and confusion… and anger and fear. Lance could hardly stomach it. Their leader shouldn’t look like that. And definitely not toward  _ Keith _ . 

 

When the echoes of his footsteps faded, Allura spun on a heel to look at Lance. Her eyes were shiny, but her mouth was straight. 

 

“I know… I know this may be difficult to ask of you, Keith…” She was.. Speaking to Keith, but her eyes never left Lance. “But, I ask if we could go to the medical bay to run a blood sample so we may better understand… your situation.” 

  
The hand on Lance’s arm tightened, and he felt Keith go stiff behind him. “I…” Lance cleared his throat. “That’s not a good idea right now, princess. Uh.. sorry.” And then the hand slipped down his arm and into his own, pulling Lance along as Keith hurriedly began to move away, quickly into the hall and then quicker still toward his room. 

No one followed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its not that baddddd i mean it's supposed to get worse but its not that baddd right rightt
> 
> comments are treasured ; u;<3


	9. A Stranger Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo whattup its fuckin hot in my room at all hours of the day but i push through for YOU so be thankful (im jk ily and i love doin this)

Keith sank into the off-puttingly white chair, retreating further into the hoodie he’d borrowed from Lance again. Coran snapped on a pair of latex (or, if Alteans had another material similar) gloves, reaching to roll up Keith’s left sleeve. 

 

He jumped a little at the sudden touch, cringing as he helped the Altean man reveal the pale purple skin underneath. The fur, apparently, grew mostly on the top of his arm, leaving the inside of his wrist pale enough to show off his crisscrossing blue-green veins. Coran picked up the syringe and Keith had to look away. 

 

He wasn’t afraid of blood, or needles, but… Keith shifted in his seat. This was all Lance’s idea anyway. He understood his reasoning, but still, what result was Lance expecting? 

From underneath his hood, his ears flicked. He could hear Coran’s heartbeat. It was similar to a human heartbeat from what he could tell, maybe a tick slower. 

 

He could still remember Lance’s heartbeat. He’d heard it before, when he was hiding behind him like some frightened kitten. Lance had been scared too, though, his heart beat like a drum. Then once they’d made it to his dorm, Keith heard it start to calm down, until Lance’s fingers slipped from his own, then it began to pick up again, almost off beat and jittery. Nervous. 

 

_ Around me?  _ Keith thought.  _ Because I’m… this? _

 

But then Lance hugged him to his chest, muttering apologies and promises that he’d fix it, all of it, he swears. So Keith wasn’t sure. Lance didn’t act so much afraid of Keith as he did of… what, exactly? The closest thing to ‘fear’ Keith could recall ever being on Lance’s face was the time he was almost propelled out of the airlock. And maybe when, in the training room, Lance was talking about Shiro and not being good enough… 

 

“There we go!” Coran sing songed, drawing the syringe away. “We should have results in as little as a few ticks. That is, if you want to…” 

 

Keith avoided looking Coran in the eyes. “See them? I guess it’d be sort of pointless not to.” 

 

“Keith.”

“...”

“Keith, look at me.” 

He turned his head, and his solid yellow eyes, away. “Trust me, you don’t want me to.”  

 

Coran sighed, taking the blood sample to the Altean device at the table and inserting it. As the machine began to beep and whir, he looked back to Keith. 

 

“Have some faith in us, Keith. We know you for who you are, not what you look like. You wouldn’t hurt us.” 

 

Keith couldn’t hold back the scoff that became bitter, silent laughter. “That’s not the point! I’m not scared  _ for  _ you, Coran, believe me! I know my strength better now, and I would never lay a hand on any one of you, I’m not some stupid, giant, purple gorilla overflowing with adrenaline. Despite the image of me you all seem to hold.” 

He stood up from the seat, rolling down his sleeve before stuffing his hands into the pocket. 

 

Coran, seemingly taken aback by Keith’s comment, opened his mouth in objection, “Keith, we  _ know _ you’re not--” 

 

“Do you?” Keith finally looked Coran in the eyes, noting how suddenly stiff the Altean got and how his heartbeat sped up just another tick. “I  _ saw _ you, remember? When you saw me, you jumped in front of Allura like I was going to go for her throat.” He bared his new teeth a little, just for emphasis. “Even now you’re unsure of me. It’s like I’m a stranger again, isn’t it.” 

 

Coran swallowed thickly, gaining his composure as he looked to Keith sternly, somewhat reminiscent of how he  _ used _ to act towards the red paladin.

 

“No, you’re not a stranger- we. We just-- we  _ know _ you, of course we--”

 

“Then why does it sound like you’re trying to convince yourself?”

 

The doors to the medbay gave their telltale swoosh as they opened, Lance walking inside with his fists in his jacket pockets. He was chewing on his lip, and Keith’s ears suddenly perked Lance’s direction. He could smell the blood before he caught sight of the tiny bead of red. 

 

“You’re bleeding,” he stated when Lance approached. He looked up, surprised, before his fingers reached to his mouth and found his abused lip. 

 

“Oh,” Lance said, airy. “Guess so.” His hand ran through his bedhead and he sighed. Keith watched his hair curl in places he hadn’t seen it do so before. He felt his stomach twist, oddly. Mostly he felt guilty to be the cause of Lance’s stress, and therefore the reason for his lack of upkeep. But there was something else that he couldn’t identify. He… ignored it.

 

Lance stretched his arms out in front of him. “I talked to Shiro this morning.” He said, to which a loud panging feeling rang out through Keith’s nerves. “He… he’s not.. Eh, thrilled, I’d say. Wouldn’t let me say much, and he was mad that I knew and didn’t tell anyone, but… at least he’s using your name now?” Lance shrugged at Keith with a pitiful smile, and Keith sighed. 

 

“I guess that’s a start…” Inside the pocket of his hoodie, Keith gripped his fingers. “Thanks for uh… letting me borrow this.” 

 

“It was already in your closet anyway,” Lance said bluntly. “Though I’m not sure how it got mixed up with your emo clothes--” 

 

“And for.. Ah…” Keith glanced to where Coran had begun to mutely monitor the blood sample test. “...hhh...helping m..me.”

 

Lance blinked before the realization hit him and his eyes widened slightly. “Oh.” The coloring of his face had gone pinker than usual. “Oh! Right, yea no, don’t worry about it. Hunk gets these, uh… panic attacks sometimes, he has since we were kids, so. It’s.. it’s no big deal. I’m used to it…”

 

Keith nodded along, squeezing his fingers and wincing when he nicked himself with a claw. He felt like an idiot. He’d  _ cried _ … and Lance just… ugh, he felt his face warm and he didn’t want to think about it. It was embarrassing and… ugh!

 

He heard Lance sigh and looked up to see him staring. “Keith, I know you’re not one to… ahh, how do I put this?” He rubbed his neck as he tried to form the words. “I know it’s hard for you to really, um…  _ trust  _ me, I guess, but ah… Thanks, too? I guess?” Lance nervously chuckled, his lips tilting into a sideways grin that made Keith’s stomach turn again. He swallowed, telling himself it was the stress.

 

Keith cocked his head to one side, watching Lance carefully. “Why… why wouldn’t I trust you?”

 

“I dunno, the rival thing-- look, it’s whatever, forget I said anything.” And Lance moved hurriedly towards the sound of the machine’s chime, signalling the end of the blood sample test. 

 

Keith followed, albeit reluctantly, wondering why Lance thought he didn’t trust him. Of course he trusted Lance. He’d told him all of this, hadn’t he? He trusted all of team Voltron. … Well… he did. Now, glancing up to where the screen began calculating percentages of species apparent in his blood, he wasn’t sure if that was as true as it had been. 

 

Coran gestured to the Altean letters and numbers on the screen. “Says here that Keith is the offspring of a full blooded human and a full blooded galran. We can’t do much for figuring out which part of your DNA came from your mother or your father, since galran DNA was so rarely studied, and we don’t have many references here in the castle. Plus, we still don’t have a lot on record for humans and their biology either...” He turned to Keith but hesitated, asking rather gently, “I don’t suppose you know if the human part of your DNA came from your mother or your father?” 

 

He shook his head and shrugged. “Never knew ‘em.” 

 

Coran tutted, but nodded and looked back to the results. Keith was very aware of Lance’s soft eyes on him, but decided not to look his way. 

 

He knew Lance came from a big family on Earth, he talked about them a lot during meals and whenever they had free time. It was obvious to anyone that Lance’s homesickness was bordering on severe, still, Keith didn’t exactly want to know what Lance thought of Keith not having a family, not even a small one.

 

Lance cleared his throat, voice sounding a little far away. “I’m sure Pidge stowed some nerdy human textbooks on ship after our last pit stop. You might ask them to teach you more about human genetics.”

 

“A brilliant idea number two!” Coran’s eyes twinkled, and he spun on a heel towards where Pidge might be.    
  


The resulting silence left Keith feeling colder in the already chilly medical bay. He… didn’t know what to do. He was sure Shiro was blowing off steam in the training room, and it was possible the other paladins besides Lance were with him or with Allura, who took the control room connected to the lounging area, where Hunk and Pidge ought to be… That left the showers, the abundance of unexplored castle, the dorms, and the hangar… 

 

_ Oh, god… what will Red think of me? _ He hadn’t even considered the  _ lions _ . Shit, what about Voltron? They couldn’t form with him like this! What if something happened, what if they got called out--

 

Lance’s sudden appearance by his side made Keith visibly startle, causing Lance’s small grin. He looked to the screen where the test results were still on display. 

 

“You’re thinkin’ pretty hard there, mullet man. Don’t hurt yourself.” 

 

Keith tched. “..Shutup, Lance…”

 

“Yikes, ‘shutup Lance’? That’s all you’ve got? … Somethin’ must really be bothering you then, huh. Spill.”

He didn’t say anything and already Lance was interrupting him. “And if you start in on this,” he raised his voice too many octaves in an impression of Keith. “‘the whole team hates me because I’m a purple space cat’ shtick, I’m just gonna leave.” 

 

Keith crossed his arms, trying hard to keep his ears upright, but knowing they were probably fighting to droop. “I mean… it’s true, but I’m more concerned with what this means for Voltron. For the universe.” He absentmindedly began to rub his arms. “Who could trust me now? I know I’m kind of a…  _ brash _ guy to begin with, but… the fangs and the claws aren’t making it any easier.” 

 

Lance was quiet, which Keith found odd and disliked. He chanced a look his way, finding Lance’s eyes to be on him already, soft and somewhat sad looking, but it didn’t look like pity. Keith surprised himself by blushing. He’d never seen Lance look like that before, and he… it was different. 

 

The feeling of Lance’s fingers intertwining with his own and pulling his arms away from where they were crossed caught Keith by surprise, yellow eyes widening at the blue paladin. 

 

“C’mon. I got something to show you.” And he tugged, and Keith followed.

 

-

 

The hangar lights turned on as they entered, Lance pulling Keith towards Blue’s bay. He hadn’t said anything the whole walk there, just kept his hand in Keith’s and his eyes straight ahead. The air around him was warm, but Keith could  _ feel _ Lance’s melancholy. His heartbeat would skip any time he glanced backward to Keith, but it’d regulate once he turned back. Keith wasn’t sure what this meant, but his ears were trained forward and he watched Lance carefully just in case.

 

The last light flickered on, and Keith peered over Lance’s shoulder, looking to the mass of robotic cat limbs that tangled together. 

 

Wait, was that--

 

“What’s Red doing in here?” Keith asked, noting how Lance looked a little like a doting parent watching the two lions lay there, clearly ‘asleep.’ (Pidge had given them all a lesson on the importance of ‘sleep mode’ when it came to conserving the lions’ energy. Keith didn’t really understand it much.)

 

Lance chuckled at the sight. Being a lot smaller, Red had curled herself into Blue’s stomach, her head poking out just under the blue lion’s chin. Blue’s front paws were curled around Red in an almost protective gesture, her head nestled nicely on top. 

 

“I noticed it weeks ago,” Lance whispered. “I came down once after training and Blue wasn’t here. Then I felt that weird lion bond we’ve got and I found her in Red’s bay. They were laying next to each other like this. I think they were talking.” 

 

Keith’s expression became almost incredulous. “About what?” 

 

“Ah, I don’t know for sure… As soon as I walked in, Blue lit up and our bond got severed.” He smirked, putting a slender finger over his lips. “I guess it was a secret.”

 

“What kind of secrets could two sentient robotic lions have?” 

 

Lance smothered a laugh into his hand, shrugging. “Who knows, man? Maybe they were talkin’ shit about the other lions. Like maybe they all sit around and do impressions of Black, like we do to Shiro sometimes.” 

 

Keith couldn’t help but grin. “That’d be… funny.”

 

“Or maybe they were making stupid limb based puns about each other.” 

 

“Oh god..”

 

“I’ve got to  _ hand _ it to you Red,” Lance winked, using a ridiculous voice that Keith took to be Blue’s. “But without  _ me _ , you wouldn’t have a  _ leg _ to stand on!” 

 

Keith laughed into his fist. “That’s so stupid.” 

 

Lance laughed, cheerily, and bright. Keith found himself smiling at the sound, wondering where  _ this _ Lance had been that morning in the training room. That yelling, angry, horribly sad person from before didn’t resemble Lance at that moment, and for that he was grateful. The thought of Lance’s face as he described how…  _ worthless _ he felt… Keith hated it. He could feel himself getting mindlessly angry at the idea of Lance not realizing how incredible he is. 

 

Wait. Incredible? Keith swallowed thickly. Sure, he thought good of Lance, heck maybe even  _ highly _ of him, but… ‘incredible’? 

 

_ He  _ is _ incredible!  _ His brain was fighting back now.  _ He has a talent for flying whether he sees it or not, and the dynamic he has with the team is.. Is.... !! _

 

Incredible.

 

It was then, of course, that Keith realized that neither of them had let go of each other’s hand. Not that he minded, truthfully. The weight of it and how Lance’s fingers melded perfectly in between his own… 

 

_ I like Lance. _ Keith felt his chest swell.  _ I like Lance. I  _ like _ Lance.  _

 

_ Huh. _ It should’ve been more dramatic, right? Fireworks or something.. People describe it so differently, so exciting. Still… he thought of all the times Lance had made his heart stutter in that odd little way. Like, when he caught him staring at the star projection one night, looking at them all in a sad kind of wonder. Or the time Keith found him and Pidge asleep next to one another on the couch, game controllers slipping from their hands. Every successful mission when he’d find himself searching for the familiarity of blue eyes, every night when he could hear Lance performing his rigorous skin care routine from next door, every shared look, every cracked smile, every  _ stupid _ joke… 

 

_ It’s not a revelation _ , he thought suddenly.  _ It’s an acceptance. _

 

Keith nervously bit his lip, wondering if his face looked red. What was he supposed to do with this information, then? He watched as Lance used his free hand to wipe a tear from his eye, still fighting back chuckles. 

 

_ Shit. _

 

When Lance’s laughter finally died down, the blue paladin pulled them both forward, their footsteps just loud enough to announce their presence to the two snoozing lions. Keith’s attention had immediately shifted, eyes widening in confusion.

 

Red lifted her head almost groggily, eyes lighting up as she came online. Blue barely moved from her position on the ground, only turning her lit eyes to Lance.

 

She must’ve said something, because Lance guffawed at it. “Oh, so sorry to interrupt your sleepover but this is important.” He squeezed Keith’s hand slightly, and suddenly Keith was riddled with nerves. In all this, he’d forgotten that he was  _ galra _ now. And as Red’s eyes slowly slipped to him, he felt his blood run like ice and his ears fall flat. Even his tail, which was stuffed into the leg of his pants, was twitching and tightening around his calf in worry. 

 

Lance cleared his throat. “Blue, you know Keith.” The blue lion tilted her head, as if curious as to where this was going. 

 

_ With Lance, you never know… _ Keith thought. 

 

“But that’s not what I’m here for. Red!” Lance planted his other hand on his hip as a fist, looking bravely into the red lion’s eyes. She stared back at him, a sign of acknowledgement. “Would you  _ please _ tell Keith that just because he’s got galran blood in him, that he’s not a bad guy? That he’s not the enemy?” 

 

Red untangled her limbs and stood tall, looking down to where Keith was practically pissing his pants. He swallowed, not really sure what to expect. He must’ve tensed or squeezed Lance’s hand too tight, because the blue paladin scooted closer to him and murmured, not that Keith could focus with the giant space cat looking into his mind.

 

Beside her, Blue’s head swiveled and, if Keith had seen it correctly, her eyes  _ glinted _ , giving off the impression that she was amused and teasingly waiting for Red’s reaction. 

 

The red lion seemed to pause, taking a moment to look at Keith’s new form, before connecting to him through their bond. Keith felt her initial confusion become flooded with comfort and understanding, an indication that said that Keith was  _ her  _ paladin, galran or otherwise. The relief of it had Keith letting out a breath he hadn’t noticed he’d been holding, shoulders slumping forward. 

 

“See?” Lance said gently. “Told you she wouldn’t care.” 

 

“Yea,” Keith panted, his adrenaline ebbing away. “I’m… I’m glad…” 

 

Blue made a small purring sound in Lance’s direction, and suddenly his hand was  _ yanked _ free from Keith’s with a loud, unintelligible yell. 

Lance glared at Blue, shaking his newly freed hand at her as if it were some sort of proof. 

 

“ _ God _ , Blue, mind your own business, you giant furball!” 

 

Blue rolled onto her back, still watching him. Keith got the impression that the gesture was teasing. He wondered what she was saying. 

 

His hand felt colder now that Lance had hurriedly ripped his own away, and that nervous feeling slowly came crawling back to Keith. He still didn’t know what to do now, with these feelings, or how Lance would feel towards them… Especially considering his... ‘new appearance.’

 

“...Keith?”

He nearly jumped. “Hm? What.”

“I said it’s getting late. We should probably go grab some food before Pidge or Hunk eats it all.” 

 

“R-Right..” Keith followed behind Lance as he began walking toward the hangar exit. From behind him, he suddenly felt a rush of comforting vibes from Red, and a very distinctive ‘good luck.’ Keith felt his fur puff up in panic and he shoved the thoughts back towards his lion, who, from what Keith could tell, had  _ laughed _ at him.

  
If he growled back, Lance didn’t hear it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not sure when the Big Bad is gonna happen. maybeeeee... two or so chapters after this? soon, but not like immediately soon, yknow what i mean? we're gonna get there i promise ; u;
> 
> clefairysoup.tumblr.com (i caved and made my url the same as here;;; come yell at me if u want) (or use the comments that also works i love reading ur guys thoughts it makes my day no joke)


	10. Setting it Right... As Well As One Can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here go~

The smack of his knuckles against the punching bag echoed in the otherwise deserted training room. His hands were past the initial stinging and grew more numb with each punch. He welcomed the pain.

 

Lance breathed deep, sweat beading down his neck and back. It’d been, what, a week? A week and a handful since the team saw Keith’s purple skin and yellow eyes and completely shut down?

 

He landed another punch, hard, and the bag swayed. Lance had found it, just in a closet in the training room with a few other things; some reminiscent of Earth like work out gear and some… completely foreign to him. All obviously old, forgotten stuff. Apparently tossed aside when the castle got its upgrades. Took him an hour or so to set it all up right, given that the instructions were half missing and in Altean, but Lance managed just fine.

 

Alright, Keith maybe helped him a little bit, but he didn’t stick around. Lance couldn’t really blame him, they’d only been stuck with one another for an entire week and a half, he was sure Keith was probably sick of him by now. Especially considering the guy used to live in a shack, in complete isolation. 

 

In any case, the purple fuzz butt watch Lance bust out a few rounds before grumbling about needing to take a nap and sulking away. That was what Keith had been doing for a while, since Shiro wouldn’t give him the time of day and he was too chicken to approach Pidge or Hunk, nevermind the Alteans. Lance had offered to spar him, but even before his galran upgrade, Keith had more training and took him down easily. So, he refused, not unkindly.

 

Lance remembered back on Earth, how Mateo was super into boxing. When Lance was a lot younger, he’d try to teach him a few moves. Mama hated it, would tell them to take it outside and even then if Mateo so much as gave Lance a bruise, she’d tell him to just not come back inside, not unless he wanted one too. 

 

He smirked. Angling his body, Lance threw a cross punch, hitting the bag square and listening to the resounding rattle of the chain struggling to hold it up. His arms were sore, and his legs were threatening to give, but he had to be in top condition, especially since no one had properly trained since the incident. So he breathed in, and hit it again.

 

He knew Hunk knew some boxing, judging from what he’d caught during those training sessions that felt like forever ago. Shiro and Keith had a weird MMA thing goin’ on, Allura could hold her own with the magic that is Altean jiu jitsu, and he knew Pidge could handle themselves if caught in a corner, especially if you gave that kid any sort of sharp object. Lance was the only one left with no real close combat training, and he had to be ready in case he needed it. 

 

And frankly, he was sick of the gladiator kicking his ass at a sad level 6, hence the punching bag. (It couldn’t punch back.)

 

Still, a broken record, his mind drifted back to Keith. 

 

_ Wonder how he learned all that fighting stuff anyway… _ He was pretty damn amazing at it. A natural, probably. Likely as in most things.

 

Lance began a series of quick jabs, wishing to whatever alien god that Keith could just exit his mind and his… whatever else.

 

_ Heart? _

 

He swung wide suddenly, hitting the bag a little harder than he meant to, wincing at the sting of it. He’d wrapped his hands with some Altean grade bandages but still he could see his fingers bruising and a red tinge rise in the thin fabric. How long had he been doing this?

 

_ Doesn’t matter. _ He thought, glancing over to the several empty water bottles that littered the bench.  _ I’m not done. _

 

Picking up where he left off, Lance grimaced as his mind did the same.

 

_ God _ , he fucking liked Keith. And, to be honest, for awhile there it felt like he could've had a chance. So he said fuck it, and took Keith’s hand in his own, and joked with him and made him laugh, and while,  _ yes _ , it was awesome and freeing… it also hurt like hell. 

 

Lance knew how he’d do  _ anything _ to keep Keith from feeling like an outsider, a seventh wheel… even if it made Lance one instead.

 

Another rough punch reverberated in his chest. Speaking of, the first three wheels hadn’t been talking to him either since It happened. Coran and Hunk being the exceptions, bless them. Though, if Coran was talking to Lance and happened to be called by Allura, the apologetic, knowing look on his face was apparent. And Hunk seemed to tip toe a lot more than usual, but Lance was happy to take that over silence.

 

Lance had tried to catch Allura himself, wanted to make sure she was okay and all. Probably terrified her initially, plus he wanted to apologize for keeping it a secret, though he was sure she’d understand. 

If she’d ever actually speak to him, that is. 

 

Now, Lance was no stranger to being avoided, but she could have least tried to make it a little less obvious. He couldn’t enter a room without her promptly swishing herself around and exiting the other way. 

 

He tried bringing it up with Hunk. 

 

“You know her, man. She’s probably just mad that you knew and didn’t tell her…” He bit his lip, eyes glancing away. “To be honest, dude, I see where she’s coming from.”

 

“Hunk, I’m sorry, you know I am. But you didn’t see how scared Keith looked when I found out. I… God, I’d never seen him look like that before and it scared  _ me _ .” Lance bowed his head, rubbing his neck nervously. “I should have told you at least, you’re my best friend and I trust you with my life, I just... “

 

A warm, heavy weight pressed onto his shoulder, and Lance looked up. Hunk smiled tenderly at him, shaking his head. 

 

“It’s past now, dude. And I get it, I would’ve been scared, too.” 

 

Lance breathed a heavy sigh of relief. “Right!? Ahhhh, I wish I could tell Allura or Shiro this, neither of them will even look at me. Or Keith.” 

 

Hunk could only tell him to give it time, that the shock would fade and they’d start thinking with their heads again soon enough. 

 

Lance leaned back as he took a spot on the bench, taking a break. Well, soon enough is taking too long. He kicked at the empty bottles, briefly wondering if he’d have to pick all those up or if the castle’s automatic cleaning system will shoot them out into the vacuum of space. 

He sighed. He needed to talk to Shiro again.

 

-

 

_ “Shiro? Shiro, could you slow down for a second, I wanna talk to you!” _

 

_ Lance chased after the black paladin, who was marching rather quickly from the training room to the showers. He’d promised Keith he’d talk to Shiro while he had his DNA tested, and he… He thought back to Keith’s face when he first found out. Terrified and alone and putting all of his trust onto Lance… Lance didn’t want to let him down. _

 

_ Still, Shiro hadn’t made any sign of acknowledgement and may have even started walking quicker. _

 

_ Eventually, Lance sprinted ahead and spun to face him, stopping him in his tracks and forcing their eyes to meet.  _

 

_ Lance felt his insides shudder. Shiro’s gaze was not a pleasant one. _

 

_ “What, Lance?” His voice sounded as if it scratched his throat, and Lance wondered if he’d been yelling.  _

 

_ “Shiro.” He repeated. “You… Are you okay, man?” The tension in Lance’s shoulders loosened, and he drew in a breath carefully. “I saw your face when you.. Uh, found out. You didn’t look like yourself, and you weren’t acting like yourself either.”  _

 

_ Shiro appeared to absentmindedly be rubbing his stomach where Lance had kicked free of him. “Yeah, well.” He threw his stare to the wall, waving a hand. “Galra.” _

 

_ Lance’s eyes narrowed a hair. “Galra? No, no galra.  _ Keith _.” He studied Shiro’s neutral expression and shook his head. “I mean,  _ yes _ Keith is half galran, as we’ve all discovered, but he’s not--” He waved his hand as Shiro had. “--’Galra.’ He’s Keith.”  _

 

_ “Lance, listen--” _

 

_ “No! No, Shiro,  _ you  _ listen. You hurt him. You messed him up somethin’ real bad from that nice display. You know he loves you like a brother, and he  _ trusts  _ you. And right when he actually needs you, dude, where are you?” Lance isn’t sure where the burst of courage comes from that drives him into digging an index finger into Shiro’s chest.  _

 

_ “Do you care? Do you care about Keith at all?” _

 

_ Shiro nearly growled. “Of  _ course _ I do--” _

 

_ “Then fucking act like it. I can’t imagine what you must have felt when you saw Keith, but did you ever wonder how Keith felt in that moment? Exposed and vulnerable and afraid and you didn’t even see him, you saw another threat…” Lance took a breath, retrieving his hand and running it through his hair.  _

 

_ “And yknow, I can forgive you for that. What with being a galra prisoner and tortured, and all of that. But then… it was like you couldn’t look past it, it was like Keith didn’t exist to you anymore.” _

 

_ “I wish you would have told us sooner,” Shiro said suddenly. “You, of all people, I thought would’ve been smart enough to tell someone about this.” _

 

_ Ouch. That stung. Lance was too pissed off to look hurt though, clenching his fists at his sides.  _

 

_ “That’s not the point!--” _

 

_ But Shiro didn’t relent. “It wouldn’t have to be this way if you’d just came forward, then we would’ve at least been prepared for it.” _

 

_ “Not ‘it!’ Keith!”  _

 

_ “Lance, I don’t expect you to understand how critical that information is to the team--” _

 

_ “Ex _ scuse _ me?--” _

 

_ “--especially since we were already on edge with the Yunirooniuns. It caused a lot of needless panic and confusion.” _

 

_ “Yea, from you! You freaked out, even though it was still clearly Keith and not a threat--” _

 

_ Shiro shook his head. “You should have said something sooner. I admit, the shock jarred me, just as it did to everyone else. This isn’t an easy pill to swallow Lance.” _

 

_ Lance scoffed, throwing his hands in the air. “How is it not? I swallowed it! It’s swallowed! I’m fine with it! I don’t get why you’re defending yourself right now, you need to apologize to Keith--” _

 

_ “What I need is a shower.” He stepped around Lance. “I’m sure Allura will want us all to talk about it later.” And he left Lance shaking in his own fury. _

 

-

 

But Allura never did call for a team meeting about it, or anything else for that matter.

Lance drank from a bottle of water, relishing in the coolness of it. If he were Shiro, brooding and being a bit of a jerk, where would he be?

 

He set the bottle on the bench, bending and scooping the empties up to dispose of on his way out.

 

\--

 

  
Lance approached the workshed room with a hint of caution. He’d walked the castle ship in a bit of a daze, mind foggy and eyes focused on the floor. He hadn’t noticed where he was headed until he was already there. He knew Shiro wouldn’t be in there, so why had his legs taken him here?

 

Right away, he heard voices. He recognized Hunk’s voice right away, but the words were too muffled from behind the closed door. Maybe he was talking to Shiro? Maybe Hunk was sorting out this whole mess for him and Lance could relax and head to the showers?

 

_ And since when has the Universe ever been anything but a major asshole…? _ Ah.. fair point. He pressed his hand to the screen-lock, entering once the door announced his appearance with a beep and slid open.

 

“--and I know I shouldn’t have, and I am  _ so _ sorr-- Oh. Hey, Lance.” Hunk lifted his hand in a small wave, which Lance returned with narrowed eyes.

 

As he walked farther into the room, he could make out Keith sitting on a work table piled with boxes and tools, with Hunk squatted on the floor in front of him, with some tinkerings in his hands. The sound of a chair rolling and Pidge came into view from behind a massive metal contraption. They had a welding mask on their head, and a fancy space blowtorch in one gloved hand. 

 

“Hey…” Lance studied their faces. All wore rather serious expressions. “What’s goin’ on?”

 

“Oh!” Hunk’s cheeks brightened a bit and he fiddled with the devices in his hands. “I was just, uh… apologizing to Keith. Since, you know, if I hadn’t of pulled his helmet off like that, none of this would’ve went down the way it did…”

 

From his perch, Keith kicked out a foot, gently nudging Hunk’s shoulder. “But you don’t know that. Really, it was only a matter of time, I wasn’t exactly… controlling myself very well.” 

 

Hunk shook his head. “Still, dude. I’m sorry for that, and for wigging out the way I did.”

 

“Same here.” Pidge’s gaze was cast downward, and they swayed in their rolling chair, turning the blowtorch over in their fingers. “I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you, I don’t know what came over me, logically speaking I should’ve realized all along, especially since you were still wearing your suit and the fact that the castle hadn’t alerted us to an enemy--”

 

Keith huffed, an almost laugh. “It’s fine, Pidge. You didn’t know.”

 

Very sternly, Pidge shook their head. “But I should have! And I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to talk to you again, I’m not sure what I was afraid of. Definitely not you, considering you look like a giant purple sugar glider.”

 

Lance barked out a laugh at that one, earning a sharp punch in his arm from Keith. 

 

“Thanks, Pidge. Hunk.” Keith grumbled, pulling his legs on top of the table and hugging his knees. His tail appeared from behind him and he folded it over his feet. Lance tried not to think it was cute, he really did.

 

“You guys,” Lance whined, grinning. “That was oh so touching.”

 

“We should also apologize to you, Lance, shouldn’t we?” Pidge peered over their glasses. They looked to Hunk, who nodded in earnest. 

 

Every witty thought Lance had died on his tongue. “What? Me?”

 

“Well, yea, dude,” Hunk lifted his head to meet his eyes. “We kind of threw you out in the cold, too, didn’t we?”

 

“That was wrong of us, especially since you were only trying to keep Keith safe…” Pidge finally managed to tear their eyes up to meet Lance’s. “I’m sorry, Lance.”

 

Hunk followed suit. “I’m so sorry, man.”

 

The way Lance’s mouth opened and closed as he sputtered would’ve reminded anyone of a fish out of water. He wasn’t quite sure what to say to that, he hadn’t been expecting an apology, let alone two of them?

From his side, he felt Keith’s hand knock with his. 

 

“Just say thanks and be done with it, dumbass…” 

 

Lance swallowed thickly, stuttering out, “Th-thanks you guys…” His eyes felt wet, why were his eyes wet?

 

Keith broke the awkward silence with a clear of his throat. “Still… I, uh, wanted to ask you guys for some advice…” He seemed to steel himself before going any further. “I wanna talk to Shiro. And Allura, if I can, but…” 

 

Pidge pulled off the mask, setting it on the table. “Can’t find the words?” They guessed. 

 

“Can’t find Shiro, more likely..” Lance mumbled, arms crossing. “I have a few words for him myself.” 

 

The speed at which all three pairs of eyes swiveled to star daggers into Lance was astonishing. They seemed surprised that Lance would voice his anger so openly, not that Lance really understood why. He was pissed off, for a good reason, why shouldn’t he be open about it?

 

“Right…” Keith nodded, looking to Hunk. “Lance’s right, I can’t get to him. I followed him once to his room but he wouldn’t let me in.” The red paladin rubbed his arms, adding softly. “Didn’t say anything, either…” 

 

Lance felt his blood boil suddenly, but he willed it down to non-murderous inducing levels.  _ God _ , did he have  _ words _ \--!

 

“You know what?” Hunk dropped the tools in his hand and stood up off the floor, brushing off his backside. “I wanna talk to Shiro, too. This has gone on way too long, and it’s not cool, man.”

 

Pidge was already pulling off their gloves. “I agree. Seems dumb to me that we hadn’t gotten together sooner, and even dumber that Shiro is supposed to be the leader here, and hasn’t done anything yet.” 

 

“Allura I think will be easier to talk to,” Keith said. “Coran told me he was trying to ‘open her mind’.. Whatever that means.” He sighed. “And I know Coran has at least been trying to be… I don’t know, supportive?”

 

Lance crossed his arms. “So we’re talking to Allura first? That might help us, since she stopped Shiro the first time, she could be able to talk some sense into him.”

 

Keith gave a little flinch that only Lance took notice of. His blood was rushing through him bitterly as he thought about the situation. Keith must feel horrible. It might’ve been different if it hadn’t been Shiro, but it was, and the strain of it was beginning to show in the tiredness of Keith’s amber eyes.

 

\--

 

They found Allura watching the star map thoughtfully, arms crossed and eyes scanning the systems for any signs of trouble. They’d warped from the Yunirooniuns already, but Lance understood her precaution.

 

Pidge and Hunk had branched off from the group, offering to try to pry Shiro out from wherever he was hiding, leaving Lance to be the support of Keith’s mission with Allura.

 

He gulped. In his gut, he knew he was completely prepared to defend Keith to his last breath but… The idea of a fallout served his anxiety no favors.

 

The pair approached cautiously, Lance suddenly feeling the pressure and the nerves settle heavy on his shoulders. What if this didn’t work? If nothing changed?

Keith in particular was acting kind of twitchy, if the flick of his ears and tails were anything to go by. 

 

Lance gently brushed his fingers against the back of Keith’s hand. He’d hoped to comfort him, but Keith jumped at the contact, glaring. Lance sheepishly grinned. 

 

“Nervous?” He whispered, smiling wider when Keith’s face gained a noticeably red tint beneath all that purple skin. 

 

“Mm.. Maybe.” Keith muttered, crossing his arms. 

 

Lance nodded, glancing away. “Me too..” He breathed out slowly, then inhaled and puffed out his chest. “Okay. Ready. Let’s go.”

 

Keith could only follow behind as Lance stepped into Allura’s view. Her eyes widened in surprise, and with a flick of her fingers the starmap flickered and vanished. 

 

“Oh! Lance. And, um.. Keith.” She seemed to hug herself with her arms. “I have a feeling I know what this is about and… And I’m glad you came.”

 

Lance thought this would’ve been harder. “Princess?” 

 

Allura swallowed, looking at Lance for a moment before ever so slowly finding her way to Keith’s golden gaze. 

 

“I-I mean…” She twisted her hands into her dress, and Lance was a little amused that she, Altean princess Allura, was acting so flustered. “I wanted to come to you first, Keith, right after it happened, I just… For some unknown reason I couldn’t seem to…” She made a noise of frustration. “I realize how very stupid this sounds, but I believe I might have been scared.” 

 

Keith’s ears drooped. Noticing this, Allura quickly stammered. “No! N-No, not like  _ that _ , I wasn’t afraid for my life! In fact, I’m…” She put a hand to her head. “I’m not entirely certain what I  _ was _ afraid of. The… The destruction of my planet had nothing to do with you, and yet when I first saw your face, I…” She lowered her head, shameful. “It was all I could see… Coran helped me snap out of it, and then I just got so worried of what you might think of me, having taken so very long, and the longer I waited to approach you, the more sure I became that you must  _ despise _ me terribly and I’m dreadfully sorry Keith, I--”

 

A pair of hands pressed against the princess’ shoulders, ceasing her rambling. Keith struggled with actually meeting her eyes, and instead would flit them over to hers occasionally.

 

“I don’t…” He grit his teeth, and Lance inwardly laughed. Talking had never been Keith’s strongest skill. “I don’t despise you, princess…”

 

Allura’s face relaxed, eyes shimmering. “You don’t? Truly?” 

 

Keith let go of her, crossing his arms and looking away. “No! Of course not. I understand why you would--”

 

His words were choked away with the force of an Altean hug, Allura squeezing very tightly around his neck with a bright, beautiful smile.

 

“Oh, I’m so relieved!” She released him merrily, grin wobbling a little as she looked to Lance while Keith coughed his guts out. 

 

“Princess?” Lance tilted his head at her. “What’s wrong?” 

 

Allura watched him carefully, dropping her hands to her sides. “Well… I… I owe you an apology as well, don’t I?”

 

...Again with apologies? 

 

Lance shook his hand, raising a hand. “No, really. You didn’t do anything to me, you have nothing to apologize for. This is about Keith.”

 

“Actually…” She pushed her hair behind an ear, stalling. “Shiro explained to us the nature of your… ehm… mental burdens. And for awhile now, we’ve been very carefully trying to help where we can. Making sure you eat and the like… even keeping you close during the Yunirooniun mission, just in case.” 

 

Lance’s blood felt like sludge in his skin, and he must’ve paled, because Keith appeared beside him where he hadn’t been before. 

 

_ They know… _

 

“Lance?”

 

_ They all know… What must they think of him? Pathetic, right? _

 

“Lance? Lance, can you hear me?”

“Hm… mhmm..?”

“Lance?” Allura’s voice… “Lance, I’m sorry we found out this way. Shiro was worried for you, and Hunk mentioned this was your behavior back on Earth and, well… Lance, we don’t see you as a weak person.”

 

He dragged his eyes up to look at her. 

 

“You’re plenty strong, and immeasurably important to the blue lion. She isn’t the pickiest of Lions, but that doesn’t mean she picks anyone to be her pilot. She chose you.” 

 

“Yea, even when I was the one who found her in the first place,” Keith added. “I just wasn’t good enough. She wanted you.”

 

Lance was shaking his head. This wasn’t supposed to be an intervention ala Lance, this was supposed to be about Keith and he was ruining it!

 

“N...no, this is about Keith, this isn’t supposed to be about me, I’m sorry--”

 

“God, Lance, just shutup!” And he was yanked into something warm, and soft. Keith squeezed his arms around him, and being ever so slightly shorter, pressed his face into Lance’s shoulder.

 

Lance couldn’t focus, but managed out a, “What.. what are you..?” 

 

Keith whipped his head up to stare at him, knocking into Lance’s chin in the process.

 

Wincing, he yelled, “Lance McClain, you are an integral part of Voltron and everyone on board this ship cares for you and you’re too busy being dumb to see it! You’re an incredible pilot, and you’re smart in a pinch! Your selfless nature is only amplified by your love of the team, and I swear to  _ GOD _ , if you ever try to pull any self sacrifice  _ BULLSHIT _ again, I will kick your ass into another system!” 

 

Lance’s vision had gone blurry and his face was feeling wet and another set of arms had wrapped around him from the side, but he could only feel the steady rhythm of the heart pressed against his chest. 

 

His mouth was dry. 

 

Keith shook his head into his shoulder, mumbling. “I’m sorry, I’ve been dying to say that since you first told me what you think of yourself… it came out a little… more aggressive than I meant it to be.”

 

“Still,” Allura hummed softly. “Keith is correct. I must implore you to be gentle with yourself from now on Lance. You are very important to us.” She released him, thus freeing Keith enough for him to take a small step back. 

 

Lance almost stumbled with the lack of support, Keith pulling him upright with a swift tug on his sleeve. His head fell forward, mind still reeling. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say here, or what to do. He felt limp.

 

“Ah, Keith..”

“Yes, princess?”

“I believe we have, erm… ‘broken’ him?” 

Keith chuckled so quietly, Lance almost didn’t hear it. “...Yes, princess.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *JAWS theme playing* :3c


	11. How Far We've Come.. and How Much We've Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so im sorry about this

Keith nervously chewed on his claws. Allura had chided him already to stop, and he’d tried to, but he just couldn’t.

 

Lance had gone weirdly quiet ever since Allura’s apology and Keith’s… erm… helpful input. His eyes were oddly wide and zoned out, and he looked like he was way too deep in that thick head of his… Still, Keith felt his heart twinge. He wanted Lance to be okay, he wanted to take his twitchy hands and hold them close and tell him how much he really meant to him, how much he discovered about himself, but.. 

 

Now wasn’t a good time.

 

The message from Hunk to Lance’s transceiver said that he and Pidge were dragging Shiro to them, so that he and Keith could work this out. And that message came approximately twelve ticks ago, so it wouldn’t be long before--

 

“Keith?”

 

He startled at the princess’ voice. 

 

She flinched in sympathy. “I’m sorry, you must be nervous. I just wanted to tell you, we’ll be in the hall just out of earshot. But if you need  _ anything _ , we’ll be just outside the room.” She flipped her hair over her shoulders, running her hands through it and pulling it up into a ponytail. “And I’m not expecting it to, but if it gets at all  _ violent _ , I will of course intervene.” 

 

Keith blanched. Would it get  _ violent? _ Shiro had tried to get at him last time, hadn’t he? … What would he have done, if Lance hadn’t been in the way…

 

“He won’t,” Lance said quietly, not looking at him or moving much at all. “He wouldn’t. It’s gonna be okay.” 

 

Keith made a small, impatient whining sound. He wanted this to be over with as fast as possible, his skin was starting to crawl with nerves. 

 

Footsteps could be heard from down the hall toward the paladin dorms, and Keith could hear Hunk’s animated voice. He tensed, glancing over to Lance in search of some kind of support. Lance was already watching him though, and gave him a small nod, shoving his hands in his pockets awkwardly. 

 

“Y-You got this,” he said. “...Meet me when this is over?” His voice lilted upward, almost hopeful but unsure.

 

Keith couldn’t pay any attention to Lance’s voice with the footsteps coming closer, and only mumbled out an affirmation. Yes, okay, meet Lance when this is over. When this is over. When… this… This.

 

Oh god,  _ this _ .

 

Allura had gracefully removed herself and Lance from the room, beckoning for Hunk and Pidge to follow them. Pidge started to object, but Hunk quickly clamped a hand over their mouth and hoisted them off with an apologetic smile in Keith’s direction.

 

Looking down at the floor, Keith couldn’t bring himself to stare at anything but Shiro’s boots, hiding his hands in the pocket of his hoodie and trying his best to keep his tail from flicking wildly. 

 

The silence was far too thick and too heavy, Keith could only stand frozen in the face of his broth--  _ mentor _ , too ashamed and scared to say anything. What would he say? ‘Hey, so please don’t hate me anymore?’ ‘So I’m Galra now, isn’t that cool?’ 

 

Keith swallowed, very quickly looking up at Shiro, finding that the man wasn’t even looking at him either. His arms were crossed and he was looking off to the distance, just as uncomfortable. 

 

Keith’s heart hurt. But he steeled it. This was important, this was… this was  _ everything _ , and if Shiro isn’t gonna be the first one to say anything, well… 

 

His voice was hoarse. “Coran says… uh, that I’m only… I’m only, um, half. … Galra.” Shiro’s eyes flicked in his direction and Keith quickly dropped his gaze, saving him the pain of his now yellowed stare.

 

“Th-That’s why I didn’t get any taller and my insides didn’t change…” 

 

This was going horribly.

 

“Still th-though,” God, Keith was rambling. “I feel a lot faster, and my strength has been upped somewhat… the tail is a little hard to get used to, though.” He tried to chuckle, and only choked, coughing.

 

Shiro was silent, now watching him with a strange layer of sadness in his eyes.

 

Keith went on, “Lance took me to see Red, actually… I was worried I’d be useless to Voltron like this, but she… she accepted me. Her and Blue, because Blue was there-- I mean,  _ Red _ was there, in Blue’s hangar, but, um…” He chanced meeting Shiro’s eyes. “Allura, uh… explained why she reacted the way she did, a-and she.. Um… apologized… I’m glad she isn’t hurt by this, by what I am now.” 

 

At that, Shiro visibly tensed. Keith remembered him having a problem with grinding his teeth when he gets stressed out, remembered how he’d catch him doing it back at the Garrison and have to scold him for him to relax.. Somehow this memory stung.

 

Shiro’s shoulders finally slumped as he sighed, not looking at Keith. “Look, Keith… I’m… I’m sorry. I’m having trouble… accepting this..” 

 

Worried he’d stop the ball while it’s rolling, Keith stayed silent, mentally urging Shiro to keep going. 

 

“I just…” And Keith saw his jaw clench, and felt the sting all over again. “I think I’m… getting my memories back..” 

 

Of all the reactions Keith was expecting, this wasn’t one of them. He hardly hid the surprise in his voice.

 

“Really?” Keith took a step forward, only to pause when Shiro reset the distance. He hesitated. “Um… wh-what do you remember?” 

 

Shiro couldn’t have gotten any stiffer if he tried to; arms folding over himself protectively, head cast down. Keith’s heart was breaking, he hadn’t met this Shiro yet. Not the stoic but friendly leader of Voltron, but Shiro, the prisoner of the Galra.

 

He shook his head slightly, squeezing his eyes shut. “Not much, but… I can.. See their faces..” He glanced at Keith, and Keith felt his stomach turn into stone.

 

He placed a hand on his cheek. “Which… is why you can’t look at me…” He dragged the claws down his skin lightly, a knot forming in his throat. “Because… because I look like them…”

 

“Before,” Shiro pressed on, staring at the floor. “After the mission, when I saw your face, I… I was  _ with _ you, the entire time on that ship, we were so  _ close _ …”

 

Keith dropped his hand to his side. “And you can’t stand being close to me anymore…?” 

 

He saw images of them at the Garrison, laughing. He saw them camped out in Keith’s dorm for a study hall, both leaning on one another back to back as they read off test questions. Keith saw Shiro comforting him when his foster family died… 

 

And now what… Keith was… repulsive…?

 

Shiro shook his head. “No! No, that’s not what I meant--”

 

“Well, what do you mean, Shiro… am I, or am I not Galran, the same as the ones who tortured you and took your arm, the ones we’re fighting against in Voltron…” He lifted his eyes just in time to catch Shiro looking at him, and he glowered. 

 

 _Are we teammates?_ _Are we brothers?_

 

Shiro couldn’t hold it, and looked away. 

Keith huffed.

Why was he surprised…

 

“You do hate me.”

The hesitation by Shiro only closed Keith’s throat. “N-No, I don’t hate you--”

 

“But you hate what I am. You’re…  _ afraid _ .. Of  _ me _ …” He scoffed out the words. Never in his life would he have guessed that Shiro would actually  _ fear _ him. He took a step backward, hysteria bubbling up from his throat and threatening to laugh. “..Of course you would… you should…” 

 

He was a monster now. A monster that destroyed Allura’s only home, killed her family and her people. A monster that took Pidge’s brother away. A monster that took Keith’s big brother Shiro and brought back someone war torn and weary, with a perpetual haunted gaze and a prosthetic arm. 

 

_ Monster _

_ Monster _

_ Monster _

 

“You have every reason to hate me…”

 

Keith turned to the exit.  He could hear Shiro’s hesitant, weak calls for him to come back, but no footsteps followed him as he made his way into the hallway. Guess he didn’t really want him to come back anyway… not that much, anyway. 

 

The door swished open and Keith saw Lance, Hunk, Pidge, and Allura a few ways down, all looking lost in thought. He’d forgotten they were out here. A part of him wanted to go back and find a different route, but it meant passing Shiro again… Then again, the rest of him had gone numb, so why should he care?

 

Lance was of course the first to notice his approach, and jumped from his place sitting on the floor. 

 

“Hey,” he said, voice and face soft and kind. Too kind for Keith to deserve. He moved to pass him, but Lance stepped in front of him again. 

 

“Woah, hey? Keith, you alright? That was kind of fast, how did it go?”

 

Keith leaned forward enough to knock his head against Lance’s chest. “Move.”

 

A pair of hands grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him back gently, but Keith didn’t dare look Lance in the eyes. He was already too close to crying, he wasn’t about to do so in front of Lance… again, anyway.

 

“... We’ll figure this out. He’ll come around--”

 

Keith felt his blood spike in temperature and he shoved Lance, his strength sending him to the floor. Lance winced, looking up at Keith in such gentle confusion, Keith covered the hitch of his breath with a growl. 

 

“He’s  _ not _ going to come around, don’t you get it?” His voice sounded wobbly and wet. He clenched his fists, glaring down at the one person on this entire ship that was only trying to help him… “Shiro… Shiro hates me. … And he should. That’s it. And I’m done.” He shook his head, roughly rubbing a hand across his eyes. 

 

The rest of the team just watched him as he stepped around Lance and continued down the hall. He knew his shoulders were shaking, he knew they could probably hear his sniveling as he fought to control himself long enough to make it to his room.

 

He didn’t.

 

\--

 

Keith’s eyes hurt. And his head. And his knuckles. He may or may not have punched the wall beside his bed. He glanced to the spot. Shit, is that blood? Oops.

 

He grumbled but only rolled back onto his side, clutching the ripped sheets in his hands and briefly wondering if he could use them as bandages. He’d been in here for how long? Keith closed his eyes. Time didn’t matter, and it wasn’t like he was hungry or anything so he should be fine for awhile at least… 

 

Keith couldn’t help but think of Shiro, of how much both of them had changed. 

 

His mind was flung backwards into his memory, and he saw himself, only much younger, and a raven haired Shiro, barely a teen himself… 

 

They’d met at Keith’s Jr. High School, Shiro was there as part of the Garrison’s recruitment initiative. Keith, at this point in his life, was used to getting knocked around by kids bigger than he was. He had trained himself to fight back, but he could only teach himself so much, so black eyes and bloodied knuckles weren’t new experiences for him. 

 

Granted, those assholes had been cheaters, and, that afternoon behind the science building, had brought a knife to a fist fight.

 

Keith didn’t know what he did that seemed to set people off like that, get them so riled up. His foster father at the time had suggested being friendlier, but Keith didn’t understand why he should be nice to these pricks. So he wasn’t. 

 

By the time Shiro happened to appear, the three kids one grade above Keith had him pinned to the sidewalk, waving that knife around like some glittering wand. Naturally, Shiro caught them and told them off in front of the school principal, who’d only ever turned a blind eye toward Keith’s similar stories of abuse. Keith blamed the Garrison uniform Shiro was wearing. He wanted one.

 

Afterwards, Shiro insisted on patching him up, despite how hard Keith tried to get him to leave him alone. He held his hands delicately and wrapped them, then attended to the minor cuts and bruises riddling his face and abdomen. 

 

“You really shouldn’t be getting into fights, y’know.” Shiro had said. Keith scoffed and rolled his eyes. What did this guy know?

 

Every day after that was… different. Shiro showed up every school day, and walked him to his classes, told him about his Garrison work, while Keith just listened. Soon, Shiro would show up at his house to walk him to school. 

 

Keith remembered snapping one morning.

 

“I don’t need your protection!” He’d shouted, clenching his fists and glaring. “I’m fine by myself.”

 

Shiro, confusedly, informed Keith that he was trying to be his friend, not his bodyguard. And Keith hadn’t been sure what to say to that...

 

Current day Keith’s Galra ears flicked and Galra tail flopped on the bed, testily. 

 

_ That changed pretty fast, didn’t it? _

 

He snarled, but it broke, and he sucked in a quick breath and let it out shakily. He pressed his hands on either side of his head and squeezed. 

 

Shiro had attended Keith’s graduation, as well as his orientation on his first day at the Garrison. He’d been accepted through recommendation, and qualified for several scholarships to help pay for it. His foster family gave what they could, but after a few months, the money stopped coming. Keith was getting grilled by the instructors daily on what happened, and neither of them could reach his foster parents. 

 

It was a week before the Garrison told Keith that his foster family had died suddenly. They hadn’t told him how. His spot at the school was, however, secured. But suddenly, they were a lot harder on him. He couldn’t say he was all that surprised. 

 

Shiro didn’t change, though. He helped Keith study where he could, and once he was promoted as an instructor, he’d give Keith secret flying lessons. Keith was a natural flier, Shiro had said once. 

 

They grew… closer. Closer than Keith had been with someone before. He told Shiro everything, and it was an amazing feeling to just let it  _ out _ . His fears, his hopes, his everything. He wanted to be a pilot, just like Shiro. He wanted to be just like Shiro… 

 

Of course, then came Kerberos, and well… 

 

Keith placed a pillow over his head and breathed deep. Maybe he’d just suffocate here… If only he could sleep to death, that would be amazing.

 

\--

 

Keith grumbled, lifting his head enough for the pillow that was balanced on top of it to drop to his side. He squinted at the clock, Galra eyes adjusted in the dark, and yawned. It was late. Or early, depending on if you were Pidge or not.

 

He groaned, rolling over. What woke him up, he wondered… 

 

A clanking sound came from the hallway and Keith’s ears swiveled. It sounded like footsteps. He craned his head until it was hanging upside down from the bed.

 

He couldn’t smell anything from in his room, but he bet it was Lance. Keith felt a guilty feeling gnaw at him, and he frowned. He really shouldn’t have pushed him earlier, or snapped like that, especially since it wasn’t his fault to begin with.

 

It take some mental convincing to get him to put his feet to the floor, but Keith knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep without at least making up with Lance… his heart stuttered a bit, and he blushed furiously, but thankfully he was alone. He could already hear Lance’s laugh in his head, if he ever told him about this stupid crush… 

 

_ Tell him? _ Keith clenched his hoodie sleeves. Maybe… maybe he should? What was the point of hiding it… besides, then Lance could let him down easy and Keith could get another disappointment out of the way. 

 

His heart felt heavy then. There was… always a chance, wasn’t there? That Lance could maybe…

 

Keith stuffed his hands away in his pockets and stepped out into the hallway. It was better not to think about things so hard. 

 

“Lance…?” He surveyed the hallway and found it empty. He’d heard something, though, hadn’t he? 

 

His ears twitch as he caught the sound of movement, only farther down the hall, toward the back of the castle. Keith began to follow it. Lance once had let slip that he liked to use the empty rooms when he needed some time to himself. Keith quietly hoped that he wouldn’t be super mad about his intrusion. 

 

At the turn of a corner, Keith stopped, ears perking. Huh… were there… two people awake? 

 

Keith stilled, growing anxious suddenly as the fur all over his body stood on end and a scent reached his nose. 

 

He turned his head back toward the dorms. “Lance! Guys--!” 

 

His shouting was muffled under the sudden cloth clamped against his mouth, and the furred purple hand that was holding it there. A strong arm closed across his chest as well, keeping him from running.

 

Keith growled low and struggled, but a sweet scent came from the cloth, and he felt his head go watery. 

 

_ Chl..chlorofo..form..? _

 

His arms felt so weak, though he tried to at least get a swipe of claws off. As his vision turned cloudy, Keith felt his legs buckle, and he reached out toward the dorms. The edges of the room started dotting in black, before a cold darkness swept over him, and Keith felt weightless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (i lied im not sorry)


	12. We'll Get Him Back, I Swear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hi sorry for the wait life's been real and i haven't been handling it great but i think im okay now. 
> 
> thank u for the comments and stuff, u guys dont know how much it means to me..
> 
> and if u ever are wondering whats up with me like where ive been and why i havent updated my tumblr is also clefairysoup and i usually complain about life stuff on there so u can check there if u need to

The blare of the alarms made Lance’s ears ring in pain, but he grit his teeth and struggled into his paladin armor groggily anyway. Had they always been this loud? Seemed louder. He couldn’t hold back a yawn as he hurried out of his room. 

 

Stumbling into the main control room, he tucked his paladin helmet under one arm, furiously blinking away his fatigue. Hunk and Pidge arrived soon after, Shiro right behind them. Allura and Coran stood at the big holo screen, access to the castle’s perimeter cameras displayed.

 

“Princess?” Shiro took the stance and tone of a soldier, and for some reason, it irked Lance to no end.  

 

Allura tucked a piece of white hair behind her ears, and Lance noticed she looked a little more frazzled than he’d like her to be, considering. “Um.. yes, we’ve been breached.” She said it so absentmindedly, with a nonchalant wave of her hand as her focus never left the holo screen. 

 

Hunk yelped, holding his bayard in front of him. “There’s something on the ship?!” 

 

Allura’s head snapped up, looking at him in confusion. “What? Oh, no, Hunk, there isn’t.” She amended, gesturing the the camera feed in front of her.

“There  _ was _ something on the ship. They had disarmed our emergency alert system upon entry and came through the engine room ducts. When they left again, the force of take off triggered our backup alarms.” 

 

“Wait,” Pidge said. “They left? Why break in just to leave again?” 

 

“An excellent question,” Coran mused, his own holo screen before his eyes as he typed rapidly against the Altean keys. “More excellent questions: how did they find us and  _ who _ are they…” 

 

Pidge suddenly straightened, eyes narrowing in focus. They flitted their gaze to the hall, face going a tad pale. “I… I’ll be right back.” And they took off down the hallway, ignoring Shiro as he tried to call them back.

 

“Wait…” Allura surveyed her paladins, finger pointed as she took a silent head count. “Where is Keith?” She looked to Lance, eyes searching.

 

With a spine made of ice, Lance croaked out an answer. “I… I didn’t talk to him last night.” He shook his head, slowly, wishing his thoughts could stop scrambling enough for him to  _ think _ . “He.. he went to his room, I swung by later, but he must’ve been asleep.”

 

Hunk raised a hand, already running toward the dorms. “I’ll check his room and the training room!”

 

Lance put a hand to his head. Was the room spinning? Was he? “He’d… he’d have heard the alarms and come running..” So, why hadn’t he? … Maybe he was in a deep sleep? Could that be possible? Those alarms are everywhere and they’re pretty loud… 

 

“The Red lion is still docked,” Allura said, then she paused. “But… she seems to be in some form of… distress?” 

 

The frost in his blood shot out through his body as Lance marched to the screen. “What do you mean?” 

 

The image displayed was the cameras to the Red lion’s hangar, and it showed Red, clearly activated and pacing the room as if she were nervous. 

 

At that moment, Pidge burst back into the room. “I got it.” They held up a small, chip looking device with a blinking blue light. They scowled. “It was on our pod, the one we took to the Yunirooniun ship.” They threw it to the floor, crushing it underfoot. “I tinkered with the signal, to see where it was being transmitted to.” Pidge crossed their arms. 

 

“They sold us out. They gave our location to a Galran prison ship.”

 

“A  _ prison _ ship?” Shiro echoed. Pidge nodded.

 

“Small, not meant for large scale prisoner harvesting. From what I could tell of their systems, it isn’t that big, most likely a pod like ship that connects to the main prison hub.”

 

Hunk jogged back into the control room, and Lance couldn’t wipe the hopeful look off his face when he saw him. His heart all but stopped when he watched his best friend slowly shake his own head. 

 

Lance knew he was shaking, but couldn’t stop himself. “They took Keith…” Was that his voice? “Oh god, they’re gonna kill him.”

 

Allura pressed a few symbols on the screen, and a feed of the cameras by the dorms appeared. She pressed her finger to a circular button, spinning it until the feed began to rewind. Her blue-pink eyes narrowed in her concentration, and at the sight of something appearing she froze it. 

 

“There!” 

 

It was a still of Keith, grappling with a hooded figure who had grabbed him from behind. 

 

Lance stared at the screen, eyes wide with horror and disbelief. Allura fiddled with the controls again, rewinding some more. She hit play.

 

The door to Keith’s room swooshed open, and a tired Keith stepped out, looking around the hallway. He opened his mouth and seemed to have said something, but there wasn’t any audio.

 

“Wait,” Pidge poked the screen to pause it, opening a sidebar of control options and choosing one of the Altean symbols. They closed the sidebar and poked the screen again. 

 

This time, when Keith glanced down either side of the hallway, his voice was as clear as a bell. 

 

“...Lance?”

 

Lance audibly whined, clamping one of his hands over his mouth to quiet himself. Keith was looking for  _ him? _

 

Keith’s ear had swiveled toward a sound undetected by the camera's microphone, and he turned his body curiously down the hallway, walking out of frame of the camera. 

 

“Where’d he go!” Lance looked to Pidge. “Pidge, where’d he go!” 

 

Pidge didn’t respond, too busy cycling through the castle’s other cameras. They all crowded around the screen to watch as they found Keith, now limp and unmoving, being dragged through the ship and into the engine room. (Lance may have squeaked at the sight, but slapped another hand over his mouth.) When Pidge pulled up the engine room camera, the sharp sound of static and a black screen shocked them all out of their daze. 

 

“That’s it,” Pidge said, fingers hovering above the keys. “That’s all we have…” 

 

Lance was having trouble staying calm, his head just boiling over with worry and confusion. Why had Keith gone unconscious? What did that masked bastard do to him? What did they even want with--

 

He pressed his palms to the side of his head. 

 

“They’re gonna kill him,” he muttered again. “They’re gonna kill him… They’re gonna kill Keith.” 

 

Something cold bloomed in his chest, and Lance couldn’t hold back his shivers. He was vaguely aware of Hunk rubbing comforting circles against his back, murmuring something, probably telling Lance to stay calm and that they’ll find him… find Keith. 

 

Hunk’s hand suddenly jumped away as something slapped onto Lance’s shoulders roughly, shaking his vision and hearing back into focus forcefully. He watched Shiro glare at him with distant uninterest.

 

“Snap out of it, Lance!” Shiro jostled him again. “We need everyone focused, including you, if we wanna save Keith.”

 

_ Need everyone focused… including you… save Keith… _ Lance’s stare twitched, slowly taking in Shiro’s face, his words, his hands squeezing his shoulders… and steadily, his eyes narrowed and his mouth turned downwards, the ice in his chest igniting and burning bright enough to boil his blood. His fist was up before he even noticed it, a cheap shot catching Shiro’s jaw and sending the black paladin stumbling backwards, landing on his ass with a loud, satisfying  _ thud. _

 

“ _ What do you even care about Keith, anyways?! _ ” Lance screamed. The room had gone silent. No one moved to help Shiro up, or to hold Lance back. They were only watching in a state of mute shock. Lance’s shoulders were still shaking. 

 

“You… You don’t even  _ love _ him anymore… he can’t even help it, and fuck, he looks up to you so much..” Lance hysterically laughed, eyes wet. “He looks up to you….  _ So _ damn much… and right when he needs you…? You treat him like  _ garbage… _ ”

 

Shiro rubbed his jaw, watching Lance carefully. “Lance--”

 

“Did you know he hates himself?” Lance asked, fully aware that angry, frustrated tears were making their way down his cheeks. “He… He thinks he’s a  _ monster _ now… And it’s  _ your. Fault. _ ” He extended a finger accusingly at Shiro, near growling out the words. 

 

He sniffed, furiously swiping an arm across his eyes to clear his face. “So.” He cleared his throat, looking away and crossing his arms across his chest. 

 

An impatient sigh spilled out from Shiro’s lips. “Lance, we don’t have time for this, we need to--”

 

“You’re not the boss of me!” Lance snapped. It was childish, sure. But like hell was  _ Shiro _ gonna tell  _ him _ what to do. 

 

Shiro squinted at him, as if he’d misheard. “Lance--!” 

 

Lance shook his head. “No! No, _fuck you!_ _Fuck_ you, and--!”

 

He hadn’t realized he’d been taking steps toward Shiro with his fists clenched until he felt Hunk grab his hand. 

 

“C’mon man, it’s not worth it.” 

 

The raging flame in Lance’s chest disagreed, but remembering that Keith was still missing quickly cooled his head. He unfurled his fists and stepped back. But he kept his gaze steady, and it was cold. 

 

Allura cleared her throat, leveling them both with a fierce look. “If you’re  _ quite _ done…” 

 

Lance gulped, giving a curt nod. Shiro crossed his arms, looking to Allura with his soldier-like attention. Lance glowered at him.

 

“Coran is working on tracing the wormhole’s possible exit points, as it appears there are quite a few paths they could’ve taken. There will always be evidence of disturbance through a wormhole, suggesting that it has been traveled through recently, but it’s very difficult to detect.” She huffed. “And even then, with so many paths to check…” 

 

Pidge nodded, eyes to the floor. “It’s gonna take awhile...” 

 

“Precisely… In the meantime…” Allura looked warily at Shiro, and then to the rest of the team. No one looked her in the eyes, save for the black paladin. She straightened. “Right… Stand by, then.” And she and Coran turned back to their screens, voices low and language alien.

 

Lance took this as his cue to book it, fast walking with his head down out of the room. He didn’t know where he was going, but he couldn’t stay here. Not with  _ him… _ His hand stung. 

 

He was nudged gently, Hunk having joined him in his getaway. His presence was comforting, and the ever tightening knot in his stomach loosened, if only a little bit. 

 

“Don’t worry, man. We’re gonna get him back.” Hunk calmly put an arm around Lance’s shoulders, holding him close as they ambled down the castle hall. And just like that, Lance’s throat constricted again, and he turned and buried his face into his friend’s side, unable to hold back the sobs. 

 

After helping him change back into regular clothes, they ended up in a lounge like room, the one Pidge had sworn was used for big Altean parties where everyone shows up only to faint on one of the many chaise lounge armchairs and lament their horrendously wealthy troubles. (Allura had gone frustratedly pink at the accusation, but didn’t offer up any counter argument.)

 

No one came in here, anyway, since then. Hunk must have led them here, taking advantage of the privacy and the sheer distance from the rest of the team. 

 

Hunk helped Lance sit next to him on one of the many sofas, pushing off a ridiculous amount of pillows just to make room. Lance waited for him to sit comfortably and hold out his arms before falling into them, his sobs having dwindled down and become near silent, save for the occasional sniffle and whine.

 

After awhile, Hunk squeezed him. “Man, I didn’t even  _ see _ you punch Shiro. I must’ve blinked or somethin’.” 

 

Lance sniffed. He wiped his nose against the sleeve of his jacket, despite Hunk’s grossed out face. “Mm. My hand still hurts.” 

 

At that, Hunk laughed. “I’m sure it does, dude! I forgot you used to practice boxing with Mateo…” He shook his head, smiling. “So that’s why you had bandages around your knuckles, you’ve been practicing?” 

 

Lance shrugged, not really offering a clear answer. Hunk gently wiggled him. “Laaaance, I haven’t seen you box in forever… Only a few times at the Garrison, when you got stressed out. What made you do it?” 

 

Again, he didn’t say anything. What was he supposed to say, anyways? Keith had been invading his thoughts and drove him crazy… he had so much pent up adrenaline, frustration. A little sadness that was making him angry. He tried hiding his face against Hunk’s side.

 

“Woah…” Hunk rubbed his arms. It was nice. “Something on your mind? I mean… besides the obvious…” he added quietly. 

 

And Lance felt his frustration and hurt bubble and boil to the top. He wasn’t entirely certain where it came from, or why he said it, but it was out of his mouth before he could even think.

 

“I’m in love with Keith.” 

 

The silence that followed was more than a little worrying, and Lance pulled back from Hunk so he could see his friend’s face, concerned that he’d find a look of anger or disappointment. Quiznak, he’d never forgive himself if this hurt their friendship and their team--

 

Instead, Hunk was smiling. It was big and warm, and suddenly he was being hugged again. 

 

“That’s great, man! I mean, me and Pidge were suspecting that maybe you had a crush on him, but I didn’t know you  _ loved _ him! That’s awesome!” 

 

Though relieved, Lance grinned sadly into Hunk’s chest. “It’s whatever. He doesn’t feel the same way.” 

 

Hunk pushed him back again, holding his shoulders as he gave him a light shake. “Whaaat, you don’t know that.” 

 

“Yes, I do.” 

 

“No you don’t! Look, out of all of us, he trusted  _ you _ and  _ only you _ with his big galra secret.”

 

Lance looked away. “He didn’t really have a choice, I kind of forced him to tell me…” 

 

“Okay, but, what about after? He wouldn’t let anyone see him, except you?” Hunk squeezed his shoulders, smiling. “And what about on that tape? He was looking for you, it was like the dead of night, and he was looking for  _ you. _ ” 

 

Warmth spread across his neck and up his cheeks, and a pang went through his heart. The reminder of the tape and of Keith’s disappearance felt heavy on his shoulders, but… Keith  _ had _ been looking for him, hadn’t he..

 

Lance chanced a look to his friend. “Do you really think so..?” 

 

Hunk nodded. “I’m sure he likes you back, but you know Keith man. Made of stone, hard to read, that guy.”

 

Lance saw Keith’s teary face after his secret was revealed, saw his panicked eyes as Lance slowly taught him how to steady his breathing, felt his shivery fingers as they gripped Lance’s arms like he was a lifeline, keeping him tethered and from flying away.

 

“...right..”  _ Made of stone. _

 

“We’re gonna get him back, dude.” Hunk said determinedly. “I swear.” 

 

Lance wiped his face again, breaking into a small smile. “Thanks, Hunk…” 

 

“Oh, and is that why you were boxing before? Because you couldn’t cope with your passionately lovey-dovey feelings about Keith?”

 

Lance choked on his spit, coughing and hacking and shoving the yellow paladin as he burst into laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's hoping u dont hate it
> 
> and tbh if u think Lance cries too much it's bc i relate heavily to Lance and his insecure nature in this, so im kind of drawing all my Lance stuff from myself, and i dont cry enough in real life so


	13. The Beginning of a Long Time

This guy was the polar opposite of  _ gentle. _

 

Keith winced as he was once again shoved roughly forward, nearly tripping over the chains around his ankles. He growled, ears flat, and was smacked in the head with a sneer. 

 

“Cool it, half-breed. Try anything, and you’re getting fed to the Pukir.” 

 

“The poo what?”

 

Another smack. 

 

Keith grumbled, biting back the thousands of insults and threats that were begging to be pushed out of his mouth. As he was now, in chains and still weak from whatever that chloroform type chemical was, Keith couldn’t imagine he’d be much of a challenge for purple godzilla with the blaster back there. 

 

God, his head was  _ pounding. _ He’d woken up during transport, made a bit of a drunken fuss, and was sedated again. That shit was strong, and he was a little grateful he wasn’t fully human. He didn’t wanna know what that stuff could do to one. 

 

He clenched his teeth through the pain of it, complying when the guard, Galran and testy, signalled for him to wait as he punched in a code beside the cell, before the smooth, glass like door slid open silently. The guard stepped aside, lifting his blaster and watching Keith with an expectant look. 

 

Keith made the mistake of stubbornly standing still and was all but hurled into the cell, crashing into the wall with a loud, pained yell. 

 

The cuffs at his wrists and ankles expanded, falling from his body and clashing onto the ground. Keith rubbed at his hand, glaring at the guard outside, who only smirked, and left. 

 

Once gone, Keith sat against the wall with a small wince, minding the pain blossoming in his chest. He must’ve cracked a rib or two…

 

His head leaned back and hit the wall as he blew out a sigh. This was some shit he was in currently, huh?

 

Even still, Keith couldn’t hold back the smirk. Out of everyone, he was glad it was him. For one, he was sure no human could survive that chemical sedative, and besides, he’s handled prison breaks before.

 

Well not prison, but the Garrison’s old detention hall was well watched over and handled, with cameras and teacher guards and everything. 

 

_ Granted, none of them would shoot me on sight, but… _ Details, details.

 

Still, Keith worried about the rest of the team. When he asked, the guard had laughed and said they only needed him, so at least he knew they were safe. But he couldn’t imagine what they were going through…

 

His internal clock was a little busted up thanks to being knocked unconscious twice, but Keith figured it had to be morning by now. Everyone should’ve noticed him missing, at least, and was probably tracking them right now. 

 

Keith hoped so anyway, because at the moment, the only plan  _ he _ had was stay alive until someone gets here with a ship to escape on. 

 

“Awake, then?” Came a gentle voice, startling Keith out of his thoughts and bringing him back into the darkness of his cell. “Usually, they bring them in asleep.”

 

He’d already tensed defensively. “Is somebody in here?” 

 

“Oh, no! No, n-no, I’m not in your cell with you,” The voice quickly corrected, sounding a might flustered at the suggestion. “I am in the next cell over, my name is Tari’im.. Um… What is your name?” 

 

Keith had narrowed down mostly where the voice was coming from, standing in front of the wall left of the cell door, staring at it curiously. “I’m, uh… I’m Keith.”

 

“Kee..Keethh.. Keith.” Tari’im played with the new sound, getting used to it. “Well, Keith. What is your species?” 

 

“Species?”

 

“Yes, from which planet are you from? I believe we might be in the Furnox system, yes? Are you perhaps a Furnodian from the planet Furnaudia?” 

 

Keith spied a small vent toward the bottom of the wall. Crouching before it, he realized it was used mainly to pump oxygen into the cells, but Tari’im’s voice was also being carried through from next door. 

 

He kneeled next to the vent, running his fingers across the edges of the paneling. “No, no. I’m a…” Keith hesitated, suddenly aware of the purple fur and ears and tail he had. “I’m.. I’m from Earth.”

 

Tari’im gasped, and Keith heard a bit of scrambling before Tari’im’s voice exploded loudly out of the vent. 

 

“From Earth! I’ve heard the stories of course of the human prisoner called Champion! This is quite exciting, I’ve never met a human before, tell me, do you know the Champion? Why is the planet called Earth covered in so much liquid, and has your species evolved to live both in it, and on the land? 

 

Oh! Before I forget, there’s talk of humans being paladins of Voltron, the great defender of the Universe! Are you perhaps--”

 

A loud slamming sound could be heard from the next cell over, and a loud, gruff voice shouting something Keith couldn’t quite make out. Tari’im had gone quiet, though.

 

Keith waited until he heard the sound of heavy footfalls fade away down the hall, before gently tapping on the vent. 

 

“Uh… yea, I’m a paladin of Voltron, I know the Champion, but we call him Shiro, and humans can’t live underwater.” He put his ear to the vent, listening. “...Tari’im?” 

 

Tari’im’s voice returned, slightly softer than before. “I knew you were someone important! I have a terribly good sense about these sorts of things…” They paused, and Keith found himself weirdly concerned about this new next-cell neighbor of his.

 

“A bit worrying, I suppose,” Tari’im said after a moment, giggling faintly. “A paladin of Voltron, a prisoner..” 

 

Keith rested his head against the wall with a sigh. “...Yea… Yea, I guess you’re right.” 

 

The silence blurred with time as it dragged on, the only indication that time was at all actually passing being the loud overhead speaker, announcing in several alien languages that it was lights out. (Tari’im translated, since there were no Earth languages.) 

 

Keith settled down in a corner of the cell, folding his arms over his legs and hoping he could find some sleep, regain his strength a little. Tari’im whispered to him their goodnight, and something in their language. It sounded like a mantra, or a prayer maybe. But Keith didn’t ask. 

 

He tried to get some rest.

 

\--

 

A loud, jarring blare of a buzzer sounded, yanking Keith awake. The door slid open, a hulking guard stepping inside, the blaster in his hands glowing in the darkness. His entire body tensed, and he wished he’d at least grabbed his knife before going out into the hall that night… 

  
  


_ Careless. _ The thought came from years living in a shack in the desert, before Keith tasted the bittersweetness of trusting people other than yourself. He shoved it back. He’d thought it’d been Lance in the hall. He thought he’d been safe. That’s not his fault.

 

The Galran guard leveled the blaster at Keith, gesturing with his chin for him to get off the ground. 

 

“Let’s go, pup.”

 

Keith swallowed and carefully pushed himself from the wall, standing. He kept his stare neutral, not as bloodthirsty as he really,  _ really _ wanted it to be. 

 

The guard kicked over the cuffs that Keith had dropped on the floor. 

 

“Put ‘em on.” 

 

For a second, Keith felt his blood spike and his mind rage, but the distinct clicking of the blaster being cocked shook him out of it. He slipped his feet through the ankle cuffs, and they constricted automatically. The wrists, too. 

 

A beam of violet light burst out of the wrist cuffs, making a thin purple leash which the guard grabbed and tugged on. Keith stumbled forward, much to the guard’s amusement. 

 

“Good pup.” 

 

Keith didn’t bite back the growl, but the guard only sneered. He was lead out of his cell and into the hallway. 

 

Walking past Tari’im’s cell, Keith glanced through the transparent door. But he couldn’t see them. They must’ve been in the corner, hiding. 

 

_ Fair enough _ , Keith thought, wincing at the biting pain of walking with ankle cuffs. 

 

Not that he expected a real answer, but: “Where are you taking me?” 

 

The guard grumbled to himself, then sighed. “I don’t know, they don’t tell me these things. Not high enough up on the food chain.” He shrugged. “Must be serious though, they gave me level E clearance.” 

 

Keith had no idea what that meant, but it probably wasn’t a bed and breakfast type situation. 

 

He was marched through level after level of clearance, each time noticing that the doors on the cells were slowly changing from transparent, impervious glass to steel that looked like it was almost welded shut. 

 

_ What sort of prisoners do they have here? _

 

As if reading his thoughts, the guard gestured to the cage like cells. “Not prisoners,” he said. “Experiments.” 

 

It was as if the floor dropped out from under Keith.  _ Experiments _ …?  _ Does he mean… _

 

Keith bit his lip. “There are druids on this vessel.” 

 

The guard nodded. “Pretty freaky stuff, if you ask me. But, I’m sure if you’re a good enough pup, you won’t have to worry about it.” 

 

They approached another checkpoint and the guard flashed his clearance ID with a ‘vrepit sa’ and a yank on Keith’s neon leash.

 

“This is as far as I go, pup,” and he dropped the leash into the hands of another guard. Keith could easily see the difference in their physique; his guard being more of a brute, and this new one being more lean. _ Possibly the difference in their fighting is apparent too…  _ He scanned his eyes over this new Galran briefly, spotting a tasing whip at her waist.  _ And weapons… _

 

The buzzer sounded as the doors to Level E were closed, Keith’s ears picking up the distinct sound of the locks activating. He walked in pace with the new guard, examining the near clinically spotlessness of this side of the prison. 

 

Keith tried picking up a scent of  _ anything _ and found his nose tickling with the clearly chemical like smells. 

 

“Am I being taken to a medical bay?” He asked, the stark whiteness of the walls and floor a drastic change from his cell block’s drab greys. 

 

The Galran almost stopped walking, lifting a hand to cover her mouth. Was… did she just snort?

 

They stopped in front of a large door, and the guard typed on the keypad next to it a series of Galran symbols. The light blinked green, indicating the password was accepted, and the guard took a step back, allowing the door to open. 

 

It was  _ loud. _

 

So far, every cell door had been near silent as they swooshed open without fail, but this rusted, hulking mass of steel  _ groaned _ as it scraped across the floors, making the most horrific grinding sound Keith had ever heard. He’d pinned his ears in an attempt to muffle it, and struggled with the cuffs around his wrists as he tried covering them instead. 

 

The door squeaked to a stop, and the resulting echo in the otherwise dead silent space left Keith’s ears ringing and feeling like he could vomit. 

 

The violet cord around his cuffs dropped, and flickered away as it did so, the guard lifting the whip from her belt. It activated with a shock of blue light, and Keith’s fur stood on end as he felt the radiated heat. 

 

He really didn’t want to go inside horror room number one. 

 

But he didn’t really have a choice. With careful steps, Keith waddled his way into the room, turning his head once to see if the guard was still following. She wasn’t.

 

The door began to close. 

 

Hearing it inside the room itself was somehow worse, the close corners trapping the sound and amplifying it somehow. Keith bit his lip so hard he drew blood, and even then couldn’t stop clenching. 

 

It shut with a bang, and Keith nearly thanked the universe for it. 

 

Blearily, Keith looked up. The room was odd, only a long table with a chair on either lengthwise side. It all looked suspiciously clean, stark white against floors and walls as black as obsidian. If Keith were anything but Galran, he would have thought the room was huge, but his ears flicked as he took a hard step and heard no echo. 

 

Keith jumped when he noticed someone was sitting in one of the chairs. How had he not seen them? They… they were there before, right?

 

“Hello, Red Paladin.” They spoke from underneath a hood Keith recognized to be the kind the druids wear. He swallowed thickly. 

 

They chuckled, voice amused. “I have some questions for you… Keith.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are u guys ready or what


	14. Static

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit do u guys want an update i am so sorry i thought i wasn't ready but i completely forgot this entire chapter existed
> 
> its one of the better ones, in my opinion, so let me know if it sucks okay

The glaring brightness of Pidge’s laptop was burning into Lance’s retinas, but he didn’t really mind it. The sandy stinging of his sleep deprived eyes was pretty much the only thing he could feel at the moment, and so far it was the only thing keeping him from keeling over.

 

Hopefully Pidge didn’t find out he took their laptop. He watched the wormhole on the screen branch off into about a dozen pathways, each one a one-way exit from the castle’s current position. Allura had said the wormhole itself was stable and would likely stay open and intact for as long as they needed to find the right space slide to shoot out from. 

 

As for signs of recent disturbance… Lance ran a hand down his face. He’d been watching Allura and Hunk tap out sequences of Altean numbers for days, trying to detect the coordinates at which a wormhole might have been traveled through. He even hit the books and learned the Altean numeral system, but still… he wasn’t having much luck. 

 

Coran had tried teaching Lance the workings of the castle’s holoscreen technology, and he’d gotten the hang of that easy enough, but the act of pinpointing a wormhole and testing for disturbance within its fabric was a little more complex. Plus the screen would spit out something in Altean, which Lance couldn’t read.. 

 

So he took to staring at the live feed Pidge had managed to concoct by hooking up their laptop with a bunch of Altean tech equipment, watching as the wormhole occasionally twitched within the fabric of space. Every now and again, Lance’s eyes would trick him into seeing something on the screen, something like a glitch or a marker, but it was always nothing. Just another cruel joke from his dead brain. 

 

He was in his room, blanket haphazardly placed on his shoulders by Hunk who fell asleep hours ago and was now on Lance’s bed, lightly snoring. He’d practically moved in a few nights ago, after Lance dozed off during a spar and Hunk thought he’d given his best friend a serious concussion. 

 

He kept telling himself to get some sleep, maybe eat a little, but… the thought never really made it to fruition, since all he really cared about now was getting Keith back safely. He kept replaying the security footage in his mind, over and over and over and over, watching Keith say his name, hearing Keith scream it, the static fuzzing his head and drowning out everything else. 

 

Every time Lance closed his eyes, it was all static and screams. 

 

“...Hey…” A soft voice gently pulled Lance’s attention from the laptop, and he looked over to a bleary eyed Hunk. “You gotta get some sleep, dude… C’mon.. I can scoot over…” 

 

And he shifted himself closer to the side of the bed on the wall, dropping a hand to tap the side closest to Lance. “I promise I won’t steal the covers, but I might spoon you a lil bit.” 

 

Lance couldn’t help but grin at his sleepy friend. “Who am I to say no to a little spooning?” He joked, voice dry. 

 

He cast one more look to the laptop screen. The wormholes hadn’t changed, and there was nothing to be seen. He sighed. At the very least he could lay down. 

 

The laptop was shut with a tiny click, and Lance wrapped the blanket around his shoulders as he padded his way over to the bed. Hunk opened his arms, and Lance snuggled into him, the warmth overtaking him instantly. He breathed. 

 

Maybe he could… just for a minute… Lance closed his eyes.

 

Static.

 

\---

 

Allura was on him as soon as he stepped out of his lion. He’d been expecting some sort of reaction, but he’d hoped she’d at least wait until--

 

“Lance! Are you alright? You are pushing yourself beyond your limits! You should really rest. Are you hurt?” She was alternating between stern princess and doting friend so much it was making Lance dizzy. 

 

He eased her hands away from where they were reaching out for him. He stumbled a bit as he took off his helmet, blinking the world back into focus. 

 

“I’m sorry, Princess…” He muttered the words, moving to go around her. 

 

Really, it wasn’t that big of a deal. So he took a quick nap in the cockpit of Blue, it wasn’t like he hurt anyone. He woke up well before they hit the ground.

 

Allura huffed and began walking along beside him as he made his way to his room to change. 

 

“How long have you been going without rest?” She paused a moment, waiting for an answer. When Lance didn’t give one, she pressed, “Answer me!” 

 

Lance’s eye twitched. He could feel himself getting more and more irritated with every passing second. Again, he blew Allura off, opting instead to speed up his pace, every step another pound into an oncoming headache. 

 

“Lance, you fell asleep at the controls and nearly crashed the blue lion. Had Pidge not noticed you were unresponsive, you might’ve--!” 

 

“Crashed?” Lance asked, eyes forward. “Died? Been totally fine as Blue would’ve woken up and taken care of it?” 

 

Allura shook her head, exasperated. “You can’t shove responsibility onto your lion,  _ you _ are the pilot--”

 

He threw up his hands. “And  _ I _ already said I was sorry!” 

 

Just as he rounded the corner toward the dorms, Lance jumped as he nearly crashed into a concerned, fidgety Hunk. 

 

Hunk, hands wringing and chin wobbling, opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by a sudden shout from the surprise Pidge at his side.

 

“Um? What the  _ hell _ was that about, Lance!?” Pidge cheap shotted Lance right in the gut, and he grunted with a wince. “Hunk says you’re not sleeping? You stole my laptop? You go out into Blue and think ‘today is a good day to _ pass out at the controls’?! _ ” 

 

Allura had been stunned into silence, watching as the green paladin threw their helmet at the ground in a fit of rage. 

 

“ _ Christ _ Lance!... Pull yourself together..” Pidge’s shoulders slouched over, and they grumbled. “If Keith were here, he’d kick your ass..”

 

“Yea, but he isn’t here.” Lance’s voice sounded impossibly far away. He eyed Pidge’s helmet on the ground, feeling the burn of their eyes on his face. 

 

Pidge sniffed. “Yea, but when he gets back, he’s gonna rip you a new one.” They leaned over and scooped their helmet up, tucking it beneath one arm. “Because he  _ is _ coming back, Lance. We just gotta find him first. Coran and I have been working on a faster way to eliminating improbable routes, and we’ve narrowed down the list a lot.

 

Y’know, chances are Keith’s in some Galran prison ship, being all stubbornly strong and still kickin’ sooo…” They raised their eyebrows mischievously at Lance, who looked up curiously. Pidge had dropped their voice, and sounding like a schemer, they whispered “We get to stage a jailbreak.” 

 

Lance huffed out a half laugh, smirking in spite of himself. Pidge gently nudged his arm. 

 

“But we can’t do that if you drop dead before then, so you should get some sleep. At least for Hunk’s health, I mean, you’re killing him.” 

 

Beside him, Hunk wordlessly, vigorously nodded, eyes noticeably wet. Lance felt a sharp pang of guilt at the pain he was causing everyone. 

 

He lifted his tired eyes to find Pidge’s face, with a tight, apologetic grin. “Sorry, Pidgeon. I-I’m trying to, really, but…”

 

Pidge nodded once, face suddenly determined. “I’m sure we could help you rest somehow. Allura,” Allura jumped at being suddenly mentioned. “Do Alteans have any form of sleep aids? Like medicinal herbs, or teas?” 

 

“Why, yes. I believe Coran would know of something.” Allura stepped up to Pidge, and the two began to discuss the topic while walking towards the med bay. Hunk turned his head to watch them leave before glancing back at Lance with the saddest puppy eyes he’d ever seen.

 

Lance looked down, suddenly wrought with guilt at the anxiety he’d caused everyone. “Hunk, I’m sorry, I--” 

 

And he was enveloped in the yellow paladin’s arms and was cradled gently, Hunk’s soft breathing rustling Lance’s hair. 

 

“You love him.” Hunk mumbled, rubbing his face into Lance’s head.  

Lance’s face heated, but he didn’t have the energy to deny it. “Yea.”

“This is hard for you.” 

“...Yea.” 

“We’re gonna get him back.” 

“...”

 

Hunk squeezed. “Lance?” 

 

Lance sniffed, arms finally reaching up to wrap around Hunk in return. He nodded his head into his friend’s chest, muttering out a soppy, “..Yea.”

 

\--

 

Lance was keeping count of the Earth days, of how many passed and how long Keith had been missing. 

 

Hunk tried to tell him he really shouldn’t do that, that it couldn’t be good for him, but… It was comforting to know, somehow. That it hasn’t been near as long as it felt.

 

Without Keith, the training room is dead quiet most nights. Lance had been drinking the lullubean tea that Coran had made for him every night, and so far it’d been helpful with quieting the static in his head. Granted, he could only really sleep for a few hours at a time, and when he woke, his body felt like it was vibrating with this incessant need to  _ act _ that he’d taken to meandering the castle halls, if only to calm down.

 

Once or twice he ended up outside the training room without thinking, the silence of it shocking him back into awareness. He never went inside, though, not even the nights when he did hear noises inside. The heavy punches and kicks of their oldest paladin gnawed at Lance. He’d hit Shiro pretty hard, and said a lot of things he probably shouldn’t’ve said, but… 

 

Shiro had been acting off again. The role as leader kind of tumbled down the respective ladder, dropping the duty onto Allura, who silently accepted it. He fell into step with the rest of them through drills, would respond to orders he was given, pilot with all the grace and strength he still had and yet… his face. His eyes. Something was different. 

 

Once, Lance heard noises of a different kind coming from the training room. Soft, shuddery breaths and hiccups and whines. For half a second, he wondered what Shiro was feeling. Then Lance had shoved his hands into his jacket pocket and walked back to his room. 

 

He knew Shiro was dealing with it hard as well, and maybe Lance went a little too far before… But any time Lance thought about apologizing, he’d glance up to where Shiro would be, and his insides would go ice cold, and his fists would clench up, and the static would get louder and louder and louder.

 

What was wrong with him.

 

\--

 

Shiro approached Lance a day later, day 14. Two weeks.

 

Lance had been just wandering, the castle lights dim enough to tell him it had gotten pretty late. He’d managed to catch four hours of sleep at least, but he’d realized he’d totally been skipping his night time routine, leaving his skin breaking out in places and his hair unwashed. He looked awful. He’d poked at the bags under his eyes through the mirror in his bathroom, mumbling about concealers and creams he’d had on Earth that’d really be in handy out in the vast, moisturizer void of space.

 

They’d taken a day off from training, Pidge and Coran insisting on working more with the wormholes, talking a lot of techno jargon that all translated to Lance that they were getting closer to an idea. Allura could hardly argue, seeing Lance look up with some spark of life in his eyes. He sort of inwardly winced at that, wondering how pathetic he must’ve been acting for her to be swayed so easily.

 

So they skipped, Hunk spending most of his day with Yellow, routine maintenance stuff plus the installation of a few toys Pidge gifted him, and Lance opting to stay in his room to try to sleep some. He couldn’t, naturally, until night fell and Coran gave him his tea.

 

After Lance woke, his nerves jittering and limbs twitching to  _ move _ , he was quick to toss off the covers and head out into the hall for a quick self guided tour of the castle for the umpteenth time.

 

He wound up in that fancy lounge type room with all the fainting couches. After a moment of wondering whether or not he should stay for the night, Lance heard a quiet throat clearing sound from one of the seats. He glanced over to a restless Shiro, looking awkward at being found, with red rimmed eyes and the pallor of someone going days without sleep. (Which, needless to say, Lance was getting used to looking at. It wasn’t any prettier on him, either.)

 

It came to Lance with a start that he’d been staring blankly at Shiro for about half a minute, and he quickly turned his head away, but the damage had already been done, as Shiro started to talk.

 

“I was such a fucking asshole.”

 

Lance quirked his brow. He… hadn’t exactly been expecting  _ those _ words from Shiro’s mouth but… he crossed his arms, turning around fully. If Shiro wanted to spill his guts, that was fine, Lance wasn’t gonna stop him. But he narrowed his eyes carefully anyway.

 

Shiro watched him with a tired expression, and drooped his head, shaking it. “I was… scared, I guess. Which isn’t really an excuse, I know that. And I didn’t mean to hurt him, but…” He rubbed at his face with his human hand. “..I did. I saw it on his face, and I didn’t… I didn’t  _ do _ anything...”

 

“I started remembering stuff, from being a prisoner, bits and pieces, and none of them really very good, so it was… different, seeing him… looking like  _ them _ …

But I know he isn’t, a part of me  _ knows _ that Keith isn’t and would never be like them, that this doesn’t change anything and that I’m being a jerk for acting like this.. But…” 

 

He crossed his arms over himself, stifling a shiver that made Lance’s stomach drop. He bit his lip and willed himself quiet.

 

“My nightmares, uh... changed accordingly, and it was kind of.. jarring, I guess. I’ve been regretting that conversation with Keith since it happened, and then again, with you..

 

“I-I’m.. I’m working on it, I guess is what I’m trying to say. Keith will always be my little brother, and I’m such a dick for treating him like that… Lance, I…” Shiro looked up and into Lance’s face, pleading. “I.. understand if you can’t forgive me for this but… if… i-if we don’t get Keith back and he.. He still thinks that I ha-hate him--” 

 

Lance ignored the uncharacteristic sniffling from the black paladin as he wrapped his arms around his quaking shoulders. It wasn’t really fair that Shiro wasn’t allowed to cry, he thought. He’d probably been hiding this whole time so the team wouldn’t see him. And Allura. Ah, Christ… 

 

“Yea,” Lance heard himself say, voice soft. “You were a big ol’ bag of dicks.” 

 

From where his face was pressed against Lance collar, Shiro snorted, and Lance squeezed a little tighter. 

 

“Not gonna lie, I really started to hate you for a while there,” at Shiro’s subtle flinch, Lance hastily retreated, “Not  _ seriously  _ like  _ hate _ hate you, but like, you know when someone you look up to really lets you down on something, and it’s like disappointing but it makes you angry, and it isn’t even really about you so you’re not sure why you’re mad, but like… you are? It’s that, basically, I was so disappointed and angry at you-- I definitely still consider you the leader of Voltron and everything, of course, but I guess that’s what made me so upset? Like that our leader, everyone’s big bro Shiro was kind of being a dick?

 

“But you’re working on it, so that’s a good thing. Besides,” Lance pulled away, realizing how much he’d rambled. “We’ll… g-get Keith back…” It was the first instance in which he’d said the words himself, and the small crack in his voice was remedied by Lance hurried add on, “And you’ll get your big happy family reunion, and it’ll all be biscuits and gravy, alright there big guy..” 

 

Shiro made a wobbly grin, face slightly flushed. “It feels weird. You comforting me like this.” 

 

_ Were you even listening? _ “What, why?” 

 

He shrugged a little. “I dunno… I guess, I’m just used to being the shoulder to cry on for everyone.” 

 

Lance felt his ego inflate just a little bit. “Well, I’ll have you know I have a  _ plenty _ older family members back home who come to  _ yours truly _ for advice and comfort, so I’m used to this.” He patted Shiro’s shoulder. 

 

“But uh…” Lance rubbed his neck. “You should still… say something to Allura. She’s not gonna say it, but she definitely worries about you… Also,” He straightened his back a bit. “Feel free to cry on my shoulder anytime, man.”

 

Shiro nodded, grinning. “Yea, I will… Thank you Lance, I.. I promise I will fix this…” 

 

Lance nodded back to him, deciding that it was a good a time as any to head back to his room, maybe catch some static free z’s if he could swing it. It was typical for his mind to wander back to Keith… His face, his eyes, his voice… 

 

It felt like someone had been squeezing Lance’s chest, reaching inside and clutching and twisting around incessantly. He swallowed, catching the breath he had somehow lost. He felt so  _ useless _ in all of this, so helpless as he watched his friends work tirelessly with the wormholes, searching for Keith while Lance could do nothing of any help. 

 

He clenched his jaw, feeling his eyes water but refusing to cry  _ again _ over this. They were going to find Keith, they were going to find him  _ alive _ and  _ perfectly fine _ and if Lance wanted to kiss his stupid face right then and there, he was damn well going to..!

 

The tears slid silently down his face when he’d finally made it to his room, and he grimaced as he wiped them away roughly. 

 

_ Fuck. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so anyways anyone here listen to taz and get real fucked up, bc i sure did


	15. Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lots of Life Things happened to me, including getting my wisdom teeth out and fuckin me up for a bit, but its okay this chapter is a little long so u cant complain so ha

Of all the emotions Keith thought he’d feel being stuffed back into that dank cell after meeting with the druid, he’d never thought he’d feel completely  _ gracious. _

 

The icy touch of the stone floor against his cheek felt  _ heavenly _ compared to the numerous aches and stings which riddled his body and the pangs pounding against his skull. His shoulders were on fire, as if he’d been lifting something twice his weight for hours, and his legs… He tried twitching one, but hardly moved it before whimpering in pain. 

 

What’s funny is that Keith couldn’t even remember what she’d done to him. 

 

He remembered sitting down, then she said his name, and then there was blinding pain in his head that shocked down throughout his body and Keith felt like his eyes were on  _ fire _ \-- and then it was… totally dark, and now he was here. 

 

Keith trusted himself enough to know that he couldn’t have given away any Voltron secrets, but… he felt… violated. Like somehow that druid  _ knew _ him now, and it made his skin shiver and his tail tuck under his legs and his ears flatten. 

 

Exhaustion overtook him quickly, and Keith drifted to sleep dreaming of yellow eyes and fangs.

 

\--

 

He was at the Garrison, in his dorm room. Keith could feel the uncomfortable material of the uniform before he glanced down to look at it, and he saw the paleness of his skin, no longer purple or furred. And as he felt with his hand, Keith noticed his ears were small and round human ones again, and his teeth were square, and his tail had vanished. 

 

“Keith!” 

 

He jumped, swiveling around suddenly to see a stern looking Shiro sitting cross legged on the floor, a heap of books and worksheets laid out in front of him. 

 

“We’re supposed to be studying, remember?”

 

_ Studying…?  _ Keith turned his mental gears around, given away by the pensive look on his face. Shiro chuckled at him, and tugged him to the floor to sit. 

 

“For finals?”

Keith could feel his face go hot. He muttered, “I know I just… forgot for a second…” 

 

_ Right, I asked Shiro to help me study for the piloting finals…. If I fail, they’ll probably flunk me out completely. _ Keith bit his lip. He’d promised he’d work hard and keep his spot, and he didn’t want to disappoint Shiro...

 

He picked up one of the papers on the ground, a worksheet, and held it in front of his face.  _...What? _  Keith narrowed his eyes at it, pulled the paper away, then back again. 

 

He… he couldn’t make out any words. In fact, all of the papers looked the same to him, swimming in blurring symbols he couldn’t recognize and diagrams that were too faded to even study. 

 

“Um… Shiro? I think I might need glasses…” Keith glanced to the book in Shiro’s lap, frowning at the jumbled streaks of letters that spelled nothing coherent. Had… had he always been like this? Has he always had trouble reading…?

 

“Shiro, I seriously can’t read any of this, I think there’s something wrong.” 

 

“... wrong?” Shiro was smiling, but his eyes looked a little… off. “What could be wrong?”

 

Keith inched away, confused. “Didn’t… didn’t you hear me?”

 

“What could be wrong?” Shiro repeated, smiling a little too hard. His voice also cracked a bit, but he said it again, “What could be wrong?” 

 

Slowly, Keith stood up and backed away from him, giving the room a quick scan. He saw his desk with his cluttered papers, his closet, his bunk with his jacket flung on top of the--

 

Keith picked up the jacket, feeling it between his fingers and holding it gently. This wasn’t his, this wasn’t the red cropped jacket he’d won in a hoverbike race, this jacket was too soft, and it was brown and the hood was  _ white-- _

 

This was Lance’s. 

 

Keith’s head erupted into flames and sparks and he screamed, watching as the Shiro on the floor melted into black, and the room around him folded itself into nothing, and the jacket in his hands shrivel and unwind, despite how Keith found himself clinging to it, it too was ripped away with another shock of bright crimson pain behind his eyes. And everything went dark, and darker still, and Keith felt himself smack against something hard…

 

He heard a voice, an old, tinny voice, say, “Details! It’s important to get the details!” then something lifted him-- had he fallen?-- and Keith was floating away again. 

 

\--

 

Lance looked  _ bad _ .

 

The gash in his head still oozed and Keith didn’t like how pale he’d gotten, how his eyes looked a little glassed over and a little worn out, nothing like the stubborn, strong Lance he’d seen before this. 

 

And yet he was still grinning at Keith like he wasn’t deathly injured, and Keith found himself smiling back at him, holding his hand as Lance roughly declared that they made a good team before tipping forward into Keith’s arms, unconscious. 

 

Keith held him. He smiled to himself, clutching Lance to his chest. His chest, which was bursting with the first flickers of affection that he’d ever felt. 

 

“Yea…” Keith mumbled. “We do make a good team, huh?” 

 

“...what?” 

 

Lance lifted his head up, glaring stormy daggers at Keith. “Whoever said we were a team?” Lance sneered, ripping his hand out of Keith’s. He pushed himself up effortlessly, standing despite the giant bruise against his forehead and the inevitable scar on his back from the explosion of the crystal. 

 

Keith watched him carefully, a knot forming in his throat. “Lance…?” 

 

“Who could ever have a  _ galra _ as a teammate? Or a  _ friend? _ ” The blue paladin spit in his direction. Behind him, Pidge stepped out, eyes tearful. 

 

They sniffed, scowling at Keith. “Your kind took my family from me… Who could ever trust something like you!?” 

 

Coran and Hunk stood behind them, silent but glaring, and Allura took several strides forward to slap Keith hard across the face before retreating into her fellow Altean’s arms with a loud, heart wrenching cry. 

 

Keith felt frozen. He reached out a hand, seeing it purple and covered in fur and he could feel his ears flicking against his head and his tail nervously twitching and Keith still reached out toward them, and felt someone take it.

 

“Sh...Shiro?” He watched his brother with tears in his eyes, his hand gripped into Shiro’s prosthetic hold, the galran technology slowly lighting up violet. 

 

Shiro wasn’t wearing his black paladin armor anymore, but the tattered prison clothes Keith found him in, back when Shiro had been taken, when he’d been a prisoner of the empire and forced to fight and become--

 

_ The Champion _ . 

 

Shiro’s eyes lit up a galran purple and Keith  _ screamed _ . 

 

\--

 

Keith was losing track of time.

 

In his rare moments of lucidity, he was in his cell, exhausted from nightmares but too afraid to sleep. He could remember when the guard would show up at his cell door, and the walks to the interrogation room, but from then on Keith could only feel the pain. 

 

He must’ve been pretty useless though, judging by the electrical burns around his wrists. That female guard must have restrained him this time, he must have been trying to fight back. Not that he remembered any of it. 

 

Once or twice Keith actually did recall a couple of questions the druid had asked him. What planet he was from, who his parents were, if he had family left on Earth… Weird, personal questions that left Keith feeling odd. He couldn’t recall a single question about Voltron or the team.. But then again, they’d probably get to that, right.. 

 

This last particular session though, the druid must’ve found something she liked, because she laughed as Keith left, hoarsely crying. 

 

His throat hurt. 

 

He missed Lance.

 

Keith wondered how they’d been keeping him alive for so long, considering he can’t remember eating or drinking. He could poke at his ribs now. 

 

Tari’im mentioned there was a stable supply of quintessence on board, so he figured they were using the bare minimum needed to keep the prisoners alive. They also said, with a trembling voice, that there was a race of creature on board, a Pukir, that is said to be the last of its kind and an ‘eater of worlds’. They said the quintessence was mostly for satisfying the beast, but that they have heard tales of prisoners being taken in the night and not being returned. Of course, Tari’im refused to talk about the subject any more after that, and Keith could tell it scared them to even bring it up to begin with. 

 

He stared into the vent he used to communicate with Tari’im, briefly wondering how long he’d have until he blacked out again. 

 

“You are having nightmares,” Tari’im said suddenly, after a long period of silence. Keith had thought they’d been sleeping. “They take you, and when you come back you are asleep, and you have horrible, horrible nightmares.” 

 

It took most of Keith’s strength to reply, voice hoarse, “How… how do you know that?”

 

He hears them whine a bit sadly. “Because I have been trying to wake you from them since I first heard you thrashing about. But I do not think you can hear me…” There’s a sharp slapping sound. “These walls! I wish I could help you Keith, to ease your suffering, but I cannot get past these--!” And Tari’im slaps the walls violently. Then a broken sob. 

 

“On my planet… we are diggers… to be encased in metal and stone, where I cannot see…” 

 

Keith gently touched a finger to the vent, too tired to say anything else. He had to get these prisoners out of here… He had to save them…

 

\--

 

“Is Lance one of the other Paladins?” 

 

The question caught Keith off guard, though he was too drained to really show his shock other than a small widening of his eyes. The guard’s electric whip crackled at her hip as she fit Keith into the chair opposite of the druid, latching his wrists and ankles with cuffs to keep him still. 

 

He’d always been awake for this part, but the druid had never said anything before. 

 

As the guard left, she leaned across the table and folded her hands under her chin, watching him intently with golden eyes. 

 

“He is in your memories quite a lot, so I assume he must be,” she flattened her hands on the table, dragging them as she leaned back against her chair. “But what  _ is _ strange is how your mind  _ clings _ to memories of him. As I dive into your memories for answers about Voltron, your mind latches on to thoughts of this Lance, as if for protection…” 

 

Keith’s heart was in his throat, and he twitched in his restraints. The druid didn’t seem to notice, leaning on one hand and waving the other one in the air in a dismissive gesture. 

 

“None of this matters, of course, in the grand scheme of Zarkon’s plans…” She sighed, almost wistfully. “But it  _ is _ just delicious knowing that in hiding all of Voltron’s weaknesses to me, you’ve stupidly revealed your own.” 

 

She stood abruptly, robe swishing as she reappeared at Keith’s side of the table, leaning against it and looking down at him with blank eyes and a grin. 

 

“We’ve been concealing your memories of our little interactions before. A security measure, in case something miraculous happens and you are rescued by your team, or if you manage an escape, but,” she patted his cheek, ignoring Keith’s growl at the touch. “It seems like too much to me. You can hardly walk yourself to and from your cell, nevermind make an escape. And your friends?” She laughed into her other hand. “If they can maneuver their way through a maze of self-destructive wormholes, I’d be most surprised!” 

 

Keith could only glare at her, his newfound adrenaline pleading for him to jump and attack and to run, but the cuffs keeping him locked into place. 

 

The druid pulled her hand away, sighing again. “So I’ve taken a few liberties with our… talks.. This time. I want you to stay awake for me, and remember it.” She reached with both hands and pressed her fingertips against the sides of his head. “And if you perish, well, Zarkon forgive me.” 

 

Her fingers ignited and sparked and Keith cried out as he felt tendrils  _ reaching _ in his head like electric fingers. His own hands clutched the arms of the chair tightly, and he instinctively struggled, vision going white from the sheer volume of the pain and how it filled and filled him until he heard crackling in his own ears coming from  _ inside _ him.

 

Then all at once there was fog, and Keith was standing in it, and it surrounded him like a veil. The druid appeared as well, waving a hand across the fog to dispel it, revealing a room, and as it began clearing and gaining more shape Keith recognized it to be the common room of the Castle of Lions. 

 

As more of the fog dispersed, Keith saw himself-- when he still looked human, sitting on the couch next to Pidge, who fiddled with a box of device scraps in their lap. The intense focus on the younger paladin’s face had been fascinating to Keith, and he often enjoyed just watching Pidge work in total silence, something about it being a great source of relaxation for him. 

 

Keith remembered this scene, but he couldn’t help but wince when Pidge’s head spun abruptly around to face the memory-Keith, who had gotten rather close out of curiosity. 

 

Pidge snapped, “Do you  _ mind? _ ” Keith recalled the mission just before this, along the outer edge of the planet Uren. Pidge and Keith had been dispatched to rescue an escape pod that had been launched off the planet by mistake with the emperor's child still inside, and it had been going fine until the pod jettisoned off into the planet’s ring of meteors. 

 

The Green Lion had taken a lot of hits, and actually broke a few of Pidge’s add-on tech, so they had returned to the castle ship rightfully cranky.

 

Keith should’ve known better than to hover, but… 

 

Memory-Keith blinked up at Pidge, realizing he’d scooted too close. He opened his mouth to apologize, leaning back, when--

 

“Gosh, Keith, why don’t you go do something  _ you’re  _ good at. Like bugging Lance.” They glared back to their devices, clenching the tool in their hand with a vice like grip. “Or working out until you die. Or following Shiro around like a puppy. Just leave me alone.” 

 

Keith felt his chest clench, watching as his memory self just quietly nodded and left the room. In retrospect, Keith felt silly for getting so upset at Pidge. They were just a kid, afterall, and he  _ had _ been crossing into their personal space. He knew Pidge didn’t  _ really _ mean all those things, they had just been angry. He even remembered they apologized, quietly showing up at his room with a tiny figurine of Red made out of scrap. They’d nearly cried, they’d felt so bad… 

 

“Hm.” The druid’s hand raised, and the scene froze in place. “The green one seems to foster a bit of hostility towards you. Perhaps this is the human’s instinct? Sensing your true, Galran nature?” 

 

Keith shook his head with a low growl. “I may be half Galra, but I’m not like  _ you _ .” 

 

The druid considered this, watching him before her eyes lit up as she grinned. “Oh… aren’t you?”

 

And with another hand wave, the scene changed. 

 

This time when the fog faded, it was a planet covered in green. Keith couldn’t remember the name of the planet, only that it wasn’t lush with grass, but in fact the green tendrils growing from the ground had been the planet’s feelers. The ecosystem had been constructed entirely by the planet itself, which was more insect like and very much alive. 

 

Team Voltron had been fighting on the ground, beating back a squad of Galran invaders and taking over their base. It was a grisly sight, especially as the locals-- actually the planet’s children, joined. Their insect arms and pincers weren’t very effective against the Galran weapons, and they were getting slaughtered by the dozen.

 

The group beat them rather soundly, Shiro ordering Lance and Keith to take to the base, and for Hunk and Pidge to stay behind and protect the locals. 

 

But Keith hadn’t listened. 

 

He was staring off toward the building’s shadow, where he watched as a Galran soldier brutally ripped the limbs off of one of the insect like aliens, laughing heartily as it screeched and chitted in pain. He tore off an arm. An antennae. A wing.

 

Keith’s hearing had gone completely static, and when he came to himself, he was sitting on the soldier’s chest, punching his corpse with full strength. He punched. Again. And again. And again. Distantly he’d heard Lance shouting, and Keith looked down at himself realized he was doused in blood, his sword still protruding from the killing blow to the Galran’s heart. 

 

A hand gripped his shoulder, and Keith stopped his endless attack. He dragged his eyes up, finding the shocked and terrified faces of the planet’s inhabitants, and the grim, disturbed ones of his teammates. 

 

The druid giggled and clapped beside him, drawing Keith out of his own memory. 

 

“That was  _ beautiful! _ Only true Galran are as vicious and ruthless as you were in that moment! That soldier had been inferior and weak, and your victory was glorious!” 

 

Keith was shivering. He remembered how afterward, when he’d fully come back to himself, he sobbed and threw up. Shiro stayed with him, murmuring soothing words, but Keith was crying too loudly to hear, and he apologized to Shiro over, and over, and over… No one ever mentioned it after that, but they said Keith’s name a little harder when they needed his attention on the battlefield, and he knew.

 

Through gritted teeth, Keith said, “That was… I never did anything like that ever again and I never will, I-I wasn’t thinking straight, it was just.. I was so…” 

 

“Hm?” The druid sidled up next to him coyly, smirking. “You were full of rage, yes? Watching the life of another creature be toyed with.” They paused, staring of into the distance before snapping their fingers suddenly. “You say you would never commit an act like this again, but…” A pale, slender finger pressed itself on the druid’s pouted mouth as their other hand rose and flicked in the direction of the Galran soldier and the alien.

 

The fog responded to the druid’s command, coiling around the suffering insect like creature before slowly falling away to reveal someone had taken its place. 

 

Keith felt bile rise in his throat, burning as he struggled with swallowing it back.

 

“Would you now?” The druid asked, gesturing to the recasted scene, the Galran soldier now holding an image of a bloodied Pidge by the throat. The druid judged Keith’s reaction and sniffed, waving their fingers again, the fog returning to replace Pidge with Hunk, battered and bleeding heavily. 

 

Keith tried turning his eyes away, but found that the scene merely landed wherever his gaze did. He made a whining noise, clenching his fists at his sides uselessly. 

 

“Stop.”

 

Another wave and the victim was Allura, her usually bright eyes looking dull and glazed over. Then it was Coran, a deep gash keeping his left eye swelled shut. The druid snapped and it was Shiro, prosthetic arm ripped from his torso, the connections splayed out along with pieces of skin and blood. 

 

Keith was shaking. 

 

“Please.. St- stop..!” 

 

The druid didn’t respond, silently waving their hand over the image, changing it again. 

 

This time Keith did vomit, but with nothing in his stomach it was all bile and dry heaves. His eyes were squeezed shut, but this was inside of his head, so the grisly scene remained painted along his eyelids. 

 

He gagged, the druid watching on with an unsympathetic look. 

 

“You’d kill for that one.” They said, nodding as if it were great information. “You would become a monster for the blue paladin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for real tho im sorry its been forever, yell at me @clefairysoup on tumblr if u want


	16. And Then There Was a Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there i got super sick a few days ago when i wanted to get the chapter after this one going, and i mean like bad sick, so i didn't get a chance to, but im feeling much better now and since today is the day season 4 dropped and its friday the 13th, i figured i might as well just post this chapter and take my time with the next one ! 
> 
> this was never gonna be a huge fic like my solangelo one, but it's been fun so far and we're getting close to an end now so i hope it hasn't disappointed too much <3

Day… god, what is it again… 23? 24? 

 

At some point, Lance noticed, time sort of melted together. Especially since he hardly slept, he could actually  _ see _ those moments when the castle’s dimmed lights every so slightly got brighter until it was officially “day time.” Of course, by then, he’d been up for hours sitting by too many empty tea mugs in the common room, staring at Pidge’s laptop. 

 

Pidge wordlessly lifted the device from Lance’s lap when they walked in, eyes a little glazed and hair it’s usual fluffy, knotted mess. They crawled onto Lance, knocking over a few empty mugs in the process, and sat comfortably with their back against his chest, already tapping away at the laptop. 

 

Lance had grown used to this tiny routine of theirs, watching as formulas and all sorts of geeky things popped up on the screen, his hands already working at Pidge’s horrendous bedhead with gentle fingers. Pidge subconsciously leaned into the touch, and Lance wondered if Matt ever did anything like this for them. He could practically see them, laughing about some weird joke Pidge made while Matt brushes out their hair, talking about space or piloting or science or something… 

 

“Lance…” 

“...hm..” 

“I asked if you got any sleep last night,” Pidge sighed, looking up at him as Lance looked down at them. “I’m gonna go ahead and guess no, judging by your zombified expression and the fact that I think you’ve collected every mug on board. Does the tea even work?”

 

He shrugged half-heartedly, squaring his shoulders and sitting a little more upright. “Eh.. kind of? It can knock me out for awhile but… nerves, yknow?” He huffed out a sigh as he snagged on a particularly stubborn tangle. “When did everything go to shit anyways…” 

 

Pidge hummed in reply, and their conversation dissolved. Lance found an odd comfort from zoning out while combing through Pidge’s hair, a numbing kind of trance. He thought of Pidge as his sort of illegitimate sibling, and he may have somewhat adopted the big brother role in Matt’s absence. Granted, it was more for his own comfort than for Pidge’s, it still seemed like Pidge was comfortable with Lance doing what he does. Making sure they sleep sometimes, clearing their lab of dirty dishes, talking video games and Star Wars on nights Pidge seemed to struggle the most.. He’d hoped he was making Matt proud at least.. Lance wasn’t even sure why, he’d never officially met him, only seen his MIA picture and heard gossip back at the Garrison. If anyone should be looking to fill in as temporary big brother for Pidge, it should be Shiro, because at least he actually  _ knew _ Matt, and maybe Pidge would prefer him, Shiro was nice and big brotherly, plus he could probably understand the techno babble--

 

“Lance.” 

 

Gently yanked back from his thoughts, Lance noticed the laptop was sitting abandoned to his side, and that Pidge had turned around completely and wrapped their arms around him, their head resting against his chest-- which now held a sort of quickening heartbeat. 

 

He gulped. “Did… D-Did I..?” 

 

“Say all that stuff about being my temporary big brother out loud? Yes, you did.” They squeezed his middle. “...the mental and emotional benefits of you doing this are.. Um.. mutual.” 

 

Lance, fingers still in their hair, softly raked them. A small grin crept onto his face. “You’re saying you like me as a brother? Gee, Pidge, talk about sappy…” 

 

A small fist punched him right in the gut, not too gently, and Lance oofed with a wince. Pidge smashed their face in his chest and laughed, wetly. 

 

“I  _ love _ you, asshole.” 

He snickered. “There they are… love you too Pidgey.” 

 

Pidge pushed off of him with a huff, scrubbing at their face under their glasses, sniffling. “God, gross… And for the record… Matt would  _ love _ you. I’m sure of it.” 

 

Lance couldn’t help the small ball of warmth that ignited and grew in his chest at the words.

 

“..Thanks, Pidge…”

“Yea, yea. You’re both nerds, you’d get along great.” They waved their hand, turning back to the laptop with a final sniff. Lance tsked, pretending to be offended at the comment, but fondly ruffled Pidge’s hair as they settled back into their work. 

 

-

 

Hunk found them a few hours later, Pidge still tapping away while Lance groggily refused to leave their side, despite his growing fatigue. And hunger. 

 

“Hey,” Hunk poked Lance’s leg with his foot. “You want late lunch or early dinner, I’m prepared for both.”

 

Lance couldn’t muster up enough energy to form words, and settled on a low groaning grunt sound, knowing that with the level of his and Hunk’s bond, he’d be understood regardless.

 

Hunk frowned. “What?”

 

_ A stake, _ Lance thought.  _ A stake in my heart, man. _

 

“He doesn’t care,” Pidge supplied, eyes still on the laptop screen. “And I’m good, thanks though.” 

 

The squawk from Pidge as Hunk yoinked the laptop from their lap jolted Lance into sitting just a little more upright, the green paladin in his lap squirming and sputtering at this injustice.

 

Hunk gently closed the laptop and tucked it under his arm, speaking plainly, “I love you guys, I do, but you both need to take better care of yourself. I expect this from Pidge, frankly, but Lance…” his soft, sad eyes made Lance’s chest twist. “Dude, I’m super worried about you. This isn’t healthy and you know it, and-- and I know this is like, you’re coping right now? And you’re crazy stressed out, we all are, I mean…” 

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Allura the other day… I asked her if it’d be alright to try using the red lion and her connection with Keith to sort of sniff him out, and she snapped pretty hard at me, saying stuff about not letting the lions get into Galran hands and how since Red had to be forcibly deactivated, that it wouldn’t be a good idea to--”

 

Lance lifted his head suddenly. “Wait, Red had to be deactivated?”

 

Pidge lifted themself up and stretched out their arms. “Yea, a couple nights ago. You were passed out, but Red went crazy in the hangar out of nowhere, almost broke out of the castle.” 

 

A small spark sent Lance’s heart flipping. “Was she going to Keith? Can she find him?” 

 

Quickly but gently, Hunk lifted a hand and shook his head. “No, that’s what I was trying to say. Allura checked Red’s systems, and it looked like Red had calculated which wormholes would be the most likely, and was going to wing it once she broke out. If she guessed wrong…”

 

Lance nodded, mouth dry. “She’d be destroyed or lost forever…” 

 

“Right… Allura was seriously scary when she screamed all of that at my face. But I understand, and she apologized… you can really tell she’s sort of out of it, too..” He cleared his throat, straightening. “Anyway. C’mon, I’ll cook you guys something good I swear.” 

 

Lance reluctantly padded slowly behind them, as Hunk animatedly told Pidge about the berries and fruits and “almost-veggies” that he and Coran had rustled up and had been saving. And while his stomach clenched at the idea, Lance could only focus on the tightness in his throat. 

 

_ If Red knows something, maybe Blue knows it too…  _ Distantly, he let his mind brush with that of his lion’s, feeling a rush of comfort and consolation. If Blue had any idea where Keith was… where the Galran ship had gone… 

He winced, feeling a sharp, biting sort of reprimand from his mental link. It was laced with worry and love, the kind Lance remembered in his mama’s voice.. Always telling him to be careful, Lance, to study hard and look after his siblings, encouraging him that there was always better in him if he looked hard enough, that he could do anything, be anyone… 

 

_ “You show them what we McClain’s can do, ah?”  _

 

The familiarity of the feeling left him with a tang in his mouth, but he didn’t hate it. Blue was like a mother, in a weird robotic alien cat sort of way. Lance was warmed by the thought, grinning softly to himself. 

 

“Hey, Lance?” 

“What’s up?” 

“I asked if you’d want to… maybe, I dunno, like.. Help? In the kitchen?” Hunk eyed his friend nervously, giving off waves of hope and concern and love that left Lance feeling choked and teary. He didn’t cry, though, he’d done enough of that for a long while. 

 

No, he smiled. 

 

“Of course!”

 

\---

 

“FOR THE LOVE OF QUIZNAK, CAN ANYONE EVEN HEAR ME? HELLO! WAKE UP, ASSHOLES, I SAID I FOUND KEITH.”

 

Lance’s bare feet smacked against the cold castle flooring, each sting of it ricocheting up and thumping his chest to the beat of his own rapid heart, urging him to go faster. He’d slammed into the door of his room before anything though, cursing and hurriedly slapping his hand to the screen lock before flying down the room, the covers from his bed falling off in the entrance and getting caught in the door as it swished closed again.

 

Pidge’s first announcement only managed to gently prod at Lance, who was finally getting some of the best sleep he’d had in weeks, when the second announcement played, higher in volume in both Pidge’s voice and that of the castle speaker system. It definitely woke Lance, as well as the entire castle and very possibly the nearest solar system.

 

By the time Lance skidded into the control room, Allura and Coran were busily mapping and remapping their star maps to Pidge’s authoritative instructions. Shiro appeared in full paladin armor, and Hunk stumbled in with only his helmet missing, making Lance feel a little stupid for flying out of the dorms in only his pajamas and bare feet. 

 

To be fair, he wasn’t thinking about much at the moment except oh thank  _ quiznak _ . 

 

Pidge looked rough, still in day clothes, if not a little ruffled from some kind of sleep deprived half-slumber. 

 

The paladin in question pointed at the map Coran was working on suddenly, shouting, “There! That one!” 

 

The wormhole looked impractically ordinary, as far as wormholes went, and as far as Lance’s knowledge of them stretched. 

Pidge, however, looked  _ ecstatic. _

 

“I can’t believe that worked…” They mumbled, then quieter. “Who could’ve been broadcasting it…” 

 

Allura stared at the map expectantly. “You… you are positive?” 

 

Pidge nodded. “I had this idea last night, that if a paladin of Voltron were successfully kidnapped from the ship by Galra, that surely there would be news of it somewhere. I started combing radio frequencies, at first only sticking to the Galran frequencies we know, but I came up empty.  _ Then _ I decided to just listen in on the  _ prison _ frequencies, and I got this--” 

 

They tapped the laptop, and an audio recording played, the language not one Lance could identify-- including Galran. 

 

Pidge paused it. “Makes no sense, right? Until..” Another tap, and the unintelligible message came to an end, but not before a gruff addition of the words: 

 

“Vrepit Sa.”

 

Hunk jumped up, raising his hand. “That’s the Galran thingy they always say to each other!” 

 

“Yep, so I starting thinking, who would switch languages like that at the very end of the message unless--” 

 

Lance’s voice found its way out of his mouth while he stared, still dumbstruck at the map. “It’s a code.”

 

Pidge squealed, clapping. “And it was  _ beautiful _ , but after combing some other more public radio frequencies, I found several other of these coded messages, the sender always being from the same relative location while the recipients ranged from different systems, all under Galran control.” 

 

Shiro was nodding. “So you triangulated the sender’s general location using different messages. That’s genius, Pidge.” 

 

Beaming, Pidge smirked, “That’s not even the best of it, my dude. Check this out.” 

 

After a couple of (obviously flourished) taps, the screen of Pidge’s laptop appeared on the holoscreen, a line of audio attached.

 

The same few coded messages played, and beneath them, words began to type, and a robotic voice trailed behind the speaker, translating:

 

SUCCESSFUL IN OUR MISSION STOP. THE HALF-GALRAN PALADIN IS BEING TRANSFERRED TO URIIN STOP. WILL REPORT AT NEXT STARDATE STOP. VREPIT SA.

 

Another message played, and again they heard the translation:

 

THE RED PALADIN HAS BEGUN UNDERGOING QUESTIONING STOP. OUR DRUID IS EXPECTING IMMINENT SUCCESS STOP. NO INFORMATION ON VOLTRON YET STOP. WILL REPORT AT NEXT STARDATE STOP. VREPIT SA.

 

Pidge quickly paused before the next one played, looking a little duller suddenly. They swallowed. 

 

“This last one is… a little hard to hear, but.. It’s important that we know.” 

 

And they pressed play:

 

DRUID HAS GONE ROGUE STOP. NO WORD FROM SHIP WARDEN STOP. EXPECTED MUTINY FROM CREWMEN STOP. SHIP COORDINATES HAVE CHANGED TO WES’NUL OF QUADRANT 7.  THE RED PALADIN IS ASSUMED DAMAGED STOP. REQUESTING IMMEDIATE HAIL OF THE VESSEL DURING IT’S PORT AT WES’NUL STOP. VREPIT SA.

 

Lance swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat. “... ‘assumed damaged’...? What the fuck does that mean?” 

 

Coran had already begun preparations for a jump, face uncharacteristically grim. “There’s no telling… Druid’s are powerful in their feats of magic, and if one employed by  _ Zarkon _ has gone  _ rogue _ …” He shook his head. “I’d rather not imagine it, if that’s alright.” 

 

At his side, Allura pointed at a blip in the holosphere, enlarging it and revealing it to be a planet. Or, what was left of one.. It was covered in cracks and crevices, and the rings around it appeared to be parts that had broken off but remained in orbit. The whole thing looked shattered.

 

“Wes’Nul is a planet with one of the most dangerous environments in the universe. It used to be inhabited by baffling creatures called Tellights, similar in appearance to the fireflies on your Earth, but at a larger size, almost twenty-three doriaans, or thirteen feet in height.. Not much is known for sure, but it was claimed that they were impervious to most poisons, could last extreme stretches of time with minimal need for food or water, and reportedly could communicate telepathically with one another from great distances…” Allura slowly drew her hand away from the screen.

 

“Tellights were near miracles, thriving on a planet where most plant life dies due to the poisonous atmosphere, and where the surface cracks and crumbles apart eternally. It was said they had evolved to be cannibalistic, but the typical negative effects of their diet were nonexistent, in fact their population only grew larger… until…” 

 

She shot a look to Coran, who nodded once, terse. 

 

“Until what?” Hunk looked between the two of them. “Oh god, until what? What happened Hell’s lightning bugs?” 

 

Allura rubbed and wrung her hands, shaking her head and looking at them all with a face of dismay and fear.

 

“They just… vanished. It was never certain why they disappeared, only that there have been no recorded cases of Tellights migrating to another planet... And even the nests from their home planet had gone missing, in fact it was debated that maybe they’d never existed at all..” 

 

She bit on her lip. “Wes’Nul was categorized as Uninhabitable and the entire system was considered too high-risk for intergalactic travel… Ships have gone missing there, entire crews vanished, with no remnants left behind to even suggest their passage..” 

 

Hunk whimpered from his place behind Pidge. “A spacier, much more terrifying Bermuda Triangle? That’s gr-great..! Ah, fan-fan _ tastic! _ ” 

 

“And why would they bring Keith there? Why would they bring an entire prison full of people there?” Lance narrowed his eyes at the planet in scrutiny. 

 

Allura opened her mouth to answer, but Shiro placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, stopping her. 

 

“It doesn’t matter. Pidge, Lance, suit up.” He glanced to Coran, who gave him a thumbs up. 

 

“We’re about to make a jump.”


	17. Almost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey friends so this is part 1 of the rescue chapter! it ended up being VERY long and im not even finished with it totally so its gotta get cut into two parts ^^" its not a cliffhanger this time tho and the next chapter will be upppp eventually im sorry life is busy im doin stuff

They left Keith alone in his cell for a long time after that. Of course, there was no telling exactly how long, as this ship’s lights didn’t simulate Earth time-- or any time, really. Keith lost track of how many times he’d stared at the brightness before coming back to himself and wondering if he’d been doing it for hours or days. Granted, he was relieved to be rid of the druid and her torture, finding himself alone again with his thoughts was… a pain of its own design.

 

Twice, Tari’im had pulled Keith out of a fit where he’d pace the room, muttering to himself. He’d reassure himself that his team was coming, they wouldn’t just  _ abandon _ him here, even if they did hate him, even if Shiro was too afraid of him to look him in the eyes… They were coming. They had to be.

 

Lance would make them come. Keith rubbed his arms as they folded across his chest to hold himself. Lance  _ cared _ , he hadn’t been afraid, he’d been kind and understanding and Keith broke about a million of his own rules by trusting him… 

 

But he couldn’t bring himself to regret it.

 

Eventually, Keith had to tell Tari’im about Lance, he’d said his name more than once during his nightmares and Keith could clearly tell that the alien next door had gotten increasingly curious.

 

So Keith filled the air and crushed the thoughts in his head by talking about the blue paladin and how the mere mention alone was making his heart stutter. He told Tari’im how impulsive and driven he was, how hard headed but determined. He told them how strong Lance was, physically and mentally-- whether he knew it or not, and how very fragile he was on the inside… 

 

He shook his head, though Tari’im couldn’t see. “See, Lance doesn’t think he’s important. He thinks he’s expendable, replaceable even.. And he’s just not. No one could ever replace  _ Lance. _ ” 

 

“Of course not!” Tari’im readily agreed. “No Paladin of Voltron is expendable!” 

 

“No, no, I mean… he’s more than that, he’s more than just a Paladin-- that’s- that’s not what makes him  _ important _ .” He struggled.

 

“Ah, are you speaking of your personal feelings?” 

 

Keith shrugged at the vent a little. “Well, sure I guess, but also just in general. Being a Paladin… that’s not what makes Lance great. He’s not… He’s not amazing because he’s a Paladin, he’s a Paladin because he’s... amazing. Do you get it?” His face was burning and for once he was thankful for the metal walls between them.

 

Tari’im hummed. “Hmm.. I think so. Your Lance is very special and important…and even if he wasn’t a Paladin of Voltron.. he would still be special and important, have I got it right?” 

 

“Yea,” Keith exhaled, propped up against the vent wall, staring off distantly. “Yea… I’ve got to get out of here, Tari’im. I-- .. He has to know how I… He needs to know that I--” His voice failed him suddenly, and Keith’s fists clenched so hard, claws stung into his palm. He swallowed and wordlessly wiped at his eyes, hearing Tari’im sigh from the next cell. 

 

“You will, and he will know… I had someone like that once, back home. They weren’t like your Lance, they were quieter, and not very strong, but that never mattered to me. We promised each other we’d be together forever… then, of course..” They trailed off, but Keith knew what they meant. 

 

Then the Galra came and ruined it all. Took everything. Destroyed. 

 

“And if I might also make a confession,” Tari’im cleared their throat. “I know you are not fully human, Keith.”

 

Keith stiffened, frozen in the darkness as he processed Tari’im’s words. He… he’d kept it from them in fear of losing their trust, in fear of being  _ truly _ alone and driven insane by the isolation. After a while he’d just forgot that he’d never mentioned it, maybe figuring that if--when-- his team arrives and gets them all out, that Tari’im would see him and not care anymore, since they’d be free.

 

Oblivious to Keith’s silent struggle, Tari’im sighed. “I’ve never smelled human before, but I’ve certainly smelled Galra. I used to think maybe the guard’s stink just rub off more easily on humans, but then it never went away… and when you’d dream, I could hear your thrashing so clearly, I could make out a tail slapping against the walls…” 

 

They sighed again, voice a little softer. “It’s not your fault, we Dillon’ri are nearly completely blind in our eyes, and we live in underground tunnel systems, where our highly sensitive hearing isn’t bombarded by the many creatures that live on the surface… I could hear your teeth clacking whenever you shivered, or whenever you flicked an ear. That and with the way the guards call you ‘pup,’ I… I made the connections.

 

“But you are not a wicked beast, you are not the Galra who stole me from my planet and keep me locked in here.” They giggled suddenly. “Even now I can hear your heartbeat hammering in your chest in fear, but you don’t have to be afraid. You are a Paladin, therefor I trust you… No, no, wait. I trust you, Keith. Paladin, or otherwise.” 

 

Keith startled himself by feeling touched, truly comforted by Tari’im’s words. He’d meant to ask them about their planet and their kind, but between rounds of interrogation with the druid and the nightmares… 

 

“Tari’im,” his voice cracked a bit. “Could you tell me more about you? About where you come from?” 

 

He could hear the small fondness and relief in their voice as they agreed, filling the silence in the room and the static in Keith’s head with the history of their planet and their people. They spoke of festivals and customs different races of their kind held, laughed as they relived childhood memories, even slipped into an unfamiliar dialect as their train of thought lost them. 

 

Keith was grateful for this, for Tari’im. And he made a silent promise to get them out of here as soon as possible.

 

Though, as with all things, their small moment of peace was brought to an end as the lock to Keith’s cell slid noisily open. 

 

\--

 

His ears were still ringing from the blast, and he could feel his chest constrict as he distantly found the back of his head was wet and slightly sticky against his palm. From where he was slouched on the floor against the wall, Lance guessed the explosion rocked the ship enough to send him and the others flying backward. 

 

They’d booby trapped the wormhole. Those dicks.

 

As Lance struggled into a more alert sitting position, he vaguely wondered how that’d even been possible. Lifting his head made him wince and caused his vision to swim and he filed the question under ‘to be figured out later, when I’m not in extreme amounts of pain.’ 

 

He groaned, breath rattling what he considered to be  _ very  _ broken ribs, and blearily opened his eyes to survey the damage.

 

The inside of the castle appeared mostly intact, if not completely shaken up. From his position, Lance could make out the castle’s status screen blinking a mad red; and from what little Altean he recognized, it was potentially fatal if they didn’t act fast.

 

The feeling of gentle hands on his shoulders served to ground Lance, and he tried to focus both his eyes and his ears to the blurry mass helping him to his feet. 

 

“...uddy? You okay?” Hunk brushed his fingers over the back of Lance’s head, flinching when he saw them return bloody. He looked rough and a little shaken, a cut on his forehead and a split lip. He also winced pulling away his wrist, so Lance assumed he had used it as a brace for the blow…

 

Lance licked his lips.

 

“‘M fine…”

 

Hunk was nodding, as if to say,  _ yea and I’m Oprah.  _ “Maybe… uh.. Healing pods, after?”

 

Lance waved a hand.  _ Sure, sure. After. _ And stumbled toward the controls.

 

Allura was helped to her feet by Coran, and the two appeared ultimately unscathed save for some pretty nice bruising and a few nasty cuts. Shiro, a brick shithouse, had his arms crossed and only looked mildly irritated-- but Lance could tell he must’ve twisted his leg, judging by how all his weight was being shifted onto his left. Pidge was holding their head with a grimace, and sported a nice purple spot on their temple, but he couldn’t see any blood. 

 

He let out a relieved sigh before straightening up again. 

 

“How bad?” He asked, voice still.

 

Coran fiddled with the holoscreens, tutting. “Not great, I’m afraid. But certainly not the worst, we just happened to warp slightly  _ in front _ of the proximity mine, and the aftershock was what set it off. Had we been on top of it, I’m sure not all of us would still be standing…” 

 

“Can we still fly?” Allura asked, looking over Coran’s shoulder. 

 

He nodded. “Not very quickly, but yes.” 

 

“I’m scanning for the prison ship frequency now,” Pidge connected their laptop to the holoscreens, setting to work on triangulating a location. “They’re close, about ten dobashes away.”

 

Coran frowned. “Wes’Nul is about that far away as well.”

 

“Right,” Shiro’s jaw was clenching as he spoke, obviously in pain but stupidly trying to hide it. How very Keith of him. “Let’s get to our lions and be ready to head out. This is a stealth mission, we don’t know how many Galra are on the ship or the planet. We get in, we get Keith, we get out.” 

 

Lance raised a finger. “While also securing escapes for the  _ other _ prisoners on board?” 

 

Shiro gave a firm nod. “We’ll go in two teams. Pidge and I will board the prison ship, find some way of getting all of the prisoners off without alerting anyone. Lance, you and Hunk are going to search for Keith. Chances are he’s been taken off the ship, so you’ll be on Wes’Nul.” 

 

He put a hand on both Hunk and Lance’s shoulder, gripping tightly. 

 

“ _ Be. Careful. _ If those transmissions were correct and Keith is being held by a rogue Galra druid, I need you two to play it safe. Understand?” 

 

Hunk nodded, though was clearly not looking forward to the idea of being on such a weird, cryptid planet, a used-to-be-home of giant insectoids that ate each other and couldn’t die.

 

Lance winced as he lifted his hand, giving a thumbs up that might have been more convincing if he wasn’t so clearly hurting. “We got it, Shiro. We’re gonna go get Keith back.” 

 

Shiro grinned a little, a mixture of pride and guilt painting a unique look in his eyes that Lance could only describe as sort of sad, but hopeful. 

 

“Thank you. Let’s go!”

 

\--

  
  


This planet was… weird. 

 

Keith could see it from the windows of the long, metal passageway that connected the ship to some other facility on the planet’s surface… if it had a surface anyway, the whole thing seemed to be chipping apart. 

He could make out other, similar veins of paths connected smaller hubs to what he assumed was the main building, where the druid was taking him. It all looked like threads, stitching the lumps of rock and asteroid together and keeping them from drifting too far away, and Keith wondered if he’d been looking through a telescope, would this place even resemble a planet at all?

 

The druid hadn’t said a thing since she retrieved Keith from his cell, looking far too pleased and eager than Keith had ever seen her be. He asked her where she was taking him, but she just smiled and connected his cuffs. 

 

_ Where are the other guards…? _

 

They approached the end of the hall, the druid lifting her hand to the scanner and opening the door with a woosh. Keith thought he heard her giggle as she lead him in, and instantly Keith felt something was wrong. 

 

His ears swiveled and he sniffed, eyeing the room around him. It was huge and blindingly white with machinery traced along the walls connected to wires and screens and something that looked a lot like an MRI scanner in the corner. There were no windows, and as the doors behind him slid shut with a hiss, gone with it was any sound. 

 

The druid’s whisper almost made him wince in comparison to the silence.

 

“This is my laboratory, isn’t it beautiful?”

 

It gave Keith  _ extreme _ hospital vibes, but not good hospitals where the nurses patch you up and give you lollipops, but the bad ones where the nurses tie you down with a smile and press needles into your skin… 

 

With a slap the druid turned on the lights, sighing as they lit up one by one. “A shame the Empire disapproves…” She muttered softly. She quickly brightened again. “But that’s okay, they don’t know where it is. Or well, they  _ do know _ where it is, but they  _ don’t know _ where it is.” She laughed again. “You see!” 

 

Keith gulped, quietly fidgeting in his cuffs. He was starting to put together a picture here and… it wasn’t a pretty one. His pulse picked up slightly as he swayed on his feet, still weak and in no way fit enough to fight his way out of this. 

 

The druid left him by the closed entry, humming to herself as she flicked on switches and the machines around them whirred to life. 

 

“I’ve tested many subjects before, you know,” she explained, typing at a holoscreen above the examination table with the MRI looking device. “I once had a  _ genius _ alien within my reaches, and his data would have jump started  _ everything _ … but…” The druid shrugged a little. “Of course, the Empire needed him and I.. I couldn’t interfere.” 

 

“Doesn’t…” Keith’s throat was dry and he struggled with his words. “Doesn’t the Empire need me, too? Needs, uh… Voltron?”

 

The druid snorted. “‘Voltron’... I’ve tried explaining myself to Emperor Zarkon, even his witch, who I thought would  _ understand _ and  _ support _ my work!” She growled. “We don’t need to destroy your precious  _ Voltron _ to get to the reality in which we  _ deserve _ …” The way she said Voltron was the way Lance might’ve said ‘mullet,’ that is to say, totally disgusted and mildly amused. 

 

She stretched out a hand and a tendril of light strung itself out from Keith’s cuffs and flew swiftly to her grasping fingers. With a yank, Keith was stumbling toward her and her hell machines. 

 

“Of course,” she pulled out a small, crackling rod, flashing dangerously with electricity. “In order to  _ truly _ be able to mold the reality into a desirable one, there must be a way for us to enclose it, to keep ourselves protected. I’ve played with alternate dimension portals, and when they’re unstable enough they can close, but it’s impossible to determine if there is another portal somewhere else…” 

 

Still muttering to herself, she tilted her head toward the table and flicked the rod at Keith. He reluctantly and slowly sat himself down, the volts bouncing off the rod even at an arm's length away making the hair on the back of his neck stand at attention, and his ears flatten out submissively. 

 

With a simple push of a button, the cuffs on Keith’s wrists and ankles snapped onto the table, laying him out spread eagle and keeping him there. He growled, straining against them and whipping out his tail. It wasn’t any use, though. He was fastened tightly, and even if he were at his full strength, the cuffs must be magnetized. Keith couldn’t move, even if he wanted to. 

 

The druid set the rod down, turning her attention to the holoscreens above him. 

 

“And the  _ creation _ of a reality is… well it sounds like lunacy to you, I’m sure, not that I expect  _ you _ to understand.” She pressed something and the tube like device began hovering toward Keith. His breathing quickened a bit, panicked. 

 

“But… the probability of altering  _ this _ reality to fit the one I desire… much more reasonable, I think!” 

 

The deep, reverberating sound of the machine as it hovered just over him made Keith’s ears pop and his head pound. He bit down hard on his lip to avoid screaming, wrists straining as the cuffs cut deeply into his skin. It felt like so much  _ pressure _ just slamming against his head and bringing tears to his eyes, practically wringing them out. 

Keith felt another pop in his ears and stifled a pained shout. Something warm was trickling down his neck.

Without warning, images began to flash behind Keith’s eyes. He saw himself as a child, he saw the multitude of families he’s lived with, he saw Shiro, he saw the Garrison, his hoverbike, the Kerberos mission, the picture of Shiro on the news channel and the words ‘Kerberos Mission Failure…’ 

 

And then he felt it-- all of it, all at once, a floodgate of pent up emotion and rage and fear and heartbreak swelling and bursting and blanketing over Keith like unforgiving ocean waves. His whole body spasmed, and Keith couldn’t stop the scream that ripped its way out of his throat. 

 

He screamed, alone in the shack out in the desert, crying loudly and openly-- the voice of Iverson replaying in his head, over and over and over,

 

“No expected survivors.”

“No expected survivors.”

“No expected survivors.”

  
And the picture of Shiro in his official uniform, the last smile Keith saw before he got on the ship, the last feeling of his brother’s arms holding him tightly and telling him it was gonna be alright, I’ll be back soon, Keith.

 

I’ll be back soon.

 

_ Shiro _

_ Shiro _

_ Shiro don’t leave _

_ Don’t leave me _

 

Shiro smiled, all teeth and no eyes. “I’ll be back soon, Keith.” Then Keith was back in the castle of lions, and Shiro was  _ crying _ .

 

“You’re one of them, Keith.”

 

“I told you so!” Lance said, stepping out from behind Shiro’s silhouette. “I told you Keith was a monster now!” 

 

_..Lance? _

 

The boy laughed. “And he thought I  _ cared _ about him! As if I actually  _ liked  _ him or something!” Lance was shaking with laughter, and suddenly Shiro was laughing too. 

 

Lance materialized his bayard, pointing it at Keith. “Dirty Galra.”

 

_ No, I’m not-- I-- Lance-- _

 

“You did this to him,” Lance said. Shiro’s hair appeared longer and tangled, he was in his prison clothes, clutching his prosthetic arm and shivering. “You’re killing him.” 

 

Keith tried to move, to step back, to run away. He couldn’t. Lance’s gaze had him frozen in place. There was a hand on his shoulder, also Lance’s, squeezing him roughly. 

 

“Running?” Lance spat. “Coward. That’s all you ever do, isn’t it? The minute things get tough out there and you’re  _ gone _ .” 

 

A strangled sound to his right and Keith spun to face it. Before him was another image of Lance, pinned beneath a faceless mass of shadows. It’s hands were around his neck, and Lance was choking and crying and gasping. His hands gripping the shadowy figure’s forearms, nails digging in. 

 

Keith opened his mouth to yell, but the Lance behind him was speaking again. 

 

“Are you gonna save me, Keith?” He chuckled, as the dying Lance in front of him turned his head and caught Keith’s eyes, expression pleading. 

 

“H-e..he-l..”

 

Keith took a step forward, arm outstretched and reaching for him.

 

“...Yea, Keith..” The shadowy figure turned it’s head, revealing Keith’s mirrored image, smiling with his fangs and eyes glowing. “Are you gonna save him?” 

 

And the shadows stretched out from him, growing and expanding and covering the entirety of the room Keith was in, and he was  _ laughing _ \-- the Not Keith was  _ laughing _ with his own voice. 

 

Keith covered his ears and shut his eyes tightly, retreating as far as he could into his own head until he saw and heard nothing. Until he was nowhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if ur curious as to what the druid's ultimate scheme business is i have it all planned out on paper on why she's doing what she's doing and it's basically she's using her druidic ability to morph memories, enhancing it through her machines and whatnot, and trying to build a reality out of keith's memories. she wants to form a galran ruled reality in keith's mind, make it REAL, and then project herself into it. 
> 
> this will 100% kill keith which is why it's so effective, since keith would be the only "door" and by dying, that door would close, so no one could get in or out of that reality. 
> 
> dont question it okay im a writer not an evil galran druid so dont even im just saying this is the idea, as silly as it sounds


	18. ...Not quite...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi friends would u believe me if i told u i got sick AGAIN ; u; my job is hazardous to my health in this way, im so sorry
> 
> also?? this is part 2??? of potentially 3-4 parts of the rescue?? im SORRY i just have a lot i wanna cram in here, but i made this part nice and long so hopefully that makes it better D: am sorry

Part Two

 

It turned out the ship was going much slower than usual, thanks to the explosive. 

 

The team stood at the control room, watching as the distant shape of Wes’Nul got… ever so slowly… bigger.

 

“We’re going so  _ slow! _ Is this normal?” Lance hovered beside Allura, who sighed. 

 

“Unfortunately, it seems the blast  _ did _ damage our speed quite a bit. But the castle has self-repair technology, and that seems unbroken, and is working on it now.”

 

Pidge could feel the antsiness coming off of Lance in  _ waves _ as the castle ship made steady progress toward the prison and the planet of Wes’Nul. He was tapping his fingers against his thigh and bouncing his leg and flickering his gaze from the screen to Shiro, the screen, Shiro, the screen, Shiro--

 

Shiro was obviously noticing, one eye twitching slightly though the rest of his expression remained stony. Eventually, Pidge predicted, he’d crack and snap at Lance to settle down, launching into a lecture about how serious this mission is and blah, blah, blah.. 

 

Silently, Pidge inched over to stand beside Lance, and whispered, “You know, we could probably wait in our lions. We’d get out faster--” 

 

The smile Lance gave them made Pidge’s chest warm. “That’s a great idea, Pidge!” He turned to Hunk. “C’mon, Hunk!” And quickly skipped out of the room, Hunk content to follow at his own pace. 

 

Instantly, Shiro relaxed, and Pidge frowned. 

 

“You have to be more patient with him.” They crossed their arms. “You know how he feels for Keith, you can’t blame him for getting a little hyped. I haven’t seen him so giddy in… days.” Pidge said the last part quietly, silently vowing to never let Lance sink so low again. 

 

Shiro exhaled slowly. “Yea.. I know. I’m realizing I’ve got a lot to relearn when it comes to being the team leader. This isn’t a bunch of Garrison cadets in a training sim. We’re all basically family…” He straightened up. “I’m gonna get better at being  _ this _ team’s leader. And, hopefully.. As a friend.” He blushed a bit, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

Pidge smiled, punching him in the shoulder. “Yea you will! And you’re not alone, yknow. We’re all here to help you too.” 

 

Coran cleared his throat politely. “I believe we’re almost there. If you’d like to head out to your lions…” 

 

“You got it, Coran.” Shiro straightened up, taking in a deep breath. “Alright.. Pidge… let’s go save my brother.” 

 

\--

 

_ KeithKeithKeithKeithKeith-- _

 

“Dude, are you even listening to me?” 

 

“Hm-- what?” Lance looked over to the image of Hunk, still vibrating in the pilot seat of the Blue lion.

 

Hunk sighed. “I know you’re excited man but…” He hesitated. “It’s been… a long time and.. And I just want you to be prepared, yknow? In case.. Just in case Keith is, ah… different than before, I mean.”

 

He had to admit, that did put a giant rock in his throat… Lance swallowed anyway, putting on a grin. 

 

“He’ll be okay, Hunk! And… And if he isn’t, we’ll help him be okay again.”

 

“And you.”

 

“..What? What about me?” 

 

“We’re gonna help you too, Lance. Coran and Pidge have been working on antidepressants, and everyone is going to make a better effort--”

 

Lance’s stomach churned uncomfortably, he had to look away from the call. His hands found their way to his knees, and he squeezed. 

 

Quietly, he said, “That’s not really necessary.. ”

 

“Yes it is, Lance, and you know it. None of us have really been… the greatest of friends toward you.” 

 

Bristling, Lance opened his mouth to interrupt, to tell Hunk that he’s wrong, that they’ve all been amazing friends, but closed his mouth with a click when he saw his friend’s face on the screen. 

 

Crying.

 

“You… y-you almost  _ die _ for us, Lance! You throw yourself in front of everyone and we just… we let you  _ do it! _ ” He was scrubbing at his face furiously, to no avail. When Hunk cried, there was no stopping it. “I should’ve… I should’ve said something sooner..! I shouldn’t have let it get this bad..”

 

“Hunk..” Lance’s voice cracked. “It’s.. it’s not your fault.”

 

Hunk’s head shot up with a glare. “Yes, it is! And I’m… I’m fixing it. We’re fixing it. You’re important, Lance. You’re… you’re so important to  _ me _ . I don’t know what I’d do if… if you ever…” His face crumpled, and the tears started up again. “You can’t  _ do that _ sort of thing anymore! I won’t forgive you if you get hurt for me, Lance! You  _ matter! _ You matter to me, to the team, and you definitely matter to Keith, so you can’t keep believing that you’re  _ nothing! _ ” 

 

And he hadn’t noticed, but Lance was crying too. God, he was tired of crying. He put a hand to his mouth to keep from making too much noise, but the mental dam he’d constructed was cracking apart anyway. 

And… and it felt good to cry, weirdly. It felt good to let out his bottled up emotions. For a while, the cockpits of the Blue and Yellow lions were filled with the sounds of sobbing and apologies and promises. Hunk promised he’d be a better friend, Lance swore there wasn’t a being in the universe that was a better friend than Hunk. The scene was incredibly sappy, even for them, and Hunk at one point had to convince Lance not to leave his lion and go to Hunk’s hangar for a proper hug fest.

 

As it ended, the two spend a moment collecting themselves, sniffling and wiping their eyes. Lance apologized for the hundredth, and Hunk did the same with a tiny eyeroll. Blue enveloped Lance in what he figured must be the sentient robot lion version of a mind hug, filling him with comfort and belonging. 

 

“Look what you did,” Hunk sniffled again, hiccuping. “You made me cry, asshole.”

Lance smiled, still teary. “Sorry, man. … Thanks.”

Hunk waved a hand, chuckling softly. “No, I’m not crying again, I love you dude, bye!” And the call ended, the feed cutting out. 

 

Lance leaned back into the pilot’s seat, heart feeling significantly heavier, but not entirely in a bad sort of way. It was a lot to process. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Lance knew his friends cared about him. That they loved him, even. 

 

He still heard that voice, though, telling him the… the other things. But right now, Lance turned it off. It was hard to do considering he probably has that concussion still, among broken ribs and the like, but the pain he was feeling then was nothing compared to the hell that his own mind puts him through, daily. 

 

_ Fuck _ , Lance groaned, slapping a little at his cheeks.  _ I’m gonna have to do better, aren’t I… _

 

His helmet coms crackled then, and Shiro’s voice took Lance’s attention.

 

“Alright team. We’re flying out to the prison ship first. From there, we’ll split into our teams; Pidge and I handling any remaining prisoners, Hunk and Lance heading toward the docking bay and onto the planet.”

 

The faces of his friends appeared on his screen, looks of determination etched into their expressions. Shiro’s image flickered into being, and he drew in a heavy breath. 

 

“You guys watch each other's backs, play it safe, and I swear to  _ god _ if one of you comes back on a  _ stretcher _ I will kill you myself.” 

 

Lance involuntarily shivered, knowing full well how that was meant mostly for him-- but also because Shiro is terrifying, even when he’s trying to be encouraging. 

 

Looking satisfied with himself, Shiro nodded. “Alright. Let’s do this!” 

 

\--

  
  


Lance made sure to wait for Hunk as they steadily crept down the prison ship’s halls, bayards drawn and activated. 

 

Through their coms, Pidge spoke up, “Anyone else finding it  _ suuuuper _ strange and weird that none of us have run into  _ any _ guards?” 

 

Shiro replied quickly, “It’s definitely odd, but don’t let your guards down. Focus on the mission.” 

 

Lance swallowed. It  _ was _ weird. In fact, they’d all waltzed onto this ship as if they owned it, zero evil Galra in sight to stop them. Shiro and Pidge had quickly split off towards the cell blocks, while Hunk and Lance began the long trek to the docking bay, timidly checking their corners but coming into contact with… no one.

 

Still, he kept his guard up, every unguarded door and hallway tightening the knot in his stomach.

 

He shook his head to try and clear his thoughts, asking, “How’s prisoner transfer going?” 

 

“I gotta hack into the entire ship’s locking mechanisms, but it doesn’t seem like there’s a lot of ‘em.” Pidge replied, sounding bored. There was the faint noise of Pidge’s rapid typing, and the sound of Shiro speaking calmly, assumably to a scared prisoner. “Have you guys found anything of note?”

 

Hunk replied before Lance could, “Nothing. This place seems deserted…” They cleared another hallway, footsteps light and eyes dutifully scanning the area.

 

Lance’s gut was twisting.

 

_...something is off here… _

 

Lance’s eye caught what looked to be another cell block, perhaps abandoned or simply left unfilled. He started to look away when he caught the sound of something.. Moving? 

 

He jumped, standing ramrod straight. “H-Hunk,” he whispered. 

 

Hunk had lifted his bayard with a shiver. “Yea,” he answered slowly. “Yes, I heard it..” 

 

They stared at one another in silence, listening for any other noises, when they heard one. It was a kind of… clicking sound, a sort of clucking whine. Lance was instantly thrown into the world of Jurassic Park and gripped his bayard tighter. 

 

“Dude was that a fucking  _ dinosaur? _ ” He whispered, frantic as they peered around the next corner. The sound was growing louder. They were getting closer.

 

His companion pressed himself against Lance’s shoulder, looking equally as worried. “I dunno man, are there even dinosaurs in space? Oh god, I think it’s coming from in there…” He pointed his bayard toward a locked cell. 

 

As if sensing them approach, whatever eldritch horror locked behind the door threw itself against it with a loud BANG and Lance  _ did not _ scream and Hunk  _ definitely did not _ hide behind him with a cry of his own. 

 

Lance’s comms cackled, and Shiro’s voice appeared, sounding worried, “What was that? Are you alright!” 

 

“Sh-Shiroooo,” Hunk practically whimpered. “Shiro there’s something in here…” 

 

Their comms activated again, but Shiro was talking to someone else, his voice nervously low. The person who responded didn’t sound like Pidge, so one of the prisoners maybe, and  _ they _ sounded  _ terrified _ .

 

“The-- you cannot!-- Pukir-- Do not op-- in danger!--”

 

And then Shiro again: “Wait, Pidge-- don’t!” 

 

“What? Don’t what, I just opened the cells!” 

 

Both Lance and Hunk jumped when there was a mechanical groan in front of them, watching in absolute  _ horror _ as the cell door separating them from what they could only assume was instant death began to slide open.

 

Lance screamed, Hunk shouting into his headset, “No no no no, close ‘em, close ‘em back!”

 

“I-I can’t!” Pidge yelled, clearly frazzled. “I disabled the locks completely, they-- they won’t close!”

 

“Hunk, Lance, get out of there,  _ now! _ ”

 

Hunk took a step back, reaching behind him to grab onto Lance. As he did, a long four fingered claw thrust out from the crack in the door, grabbing on with enough strength to leave long jagged scratches, the resounding screech echoing in Lance’s mind. 

The creature shoved it’s maw in next, revealing it’s pitch black scale covered skin, and it’s five glowing green eyes. It opened it’s mouth with a hiss, a snake like tongue whipping out and dripping something purple and noxious smelling. 

 

Hunk didn’t stick around to count the thing’s teeth, but Lance had glanced at ‘em against his better judgement. 

 

It was a lot.

It was a lot of teeth.

 

The monster slammed itself into the halfway open door, squeezing out and ramming into the opposite wall with an angry screech, turning on a dime to give chase to the two paladins. Lance threw his head back to stare at it, and immediately wished he hadn’t.

 

It was ginormous. It looked like a dinosaur for sure, with a frilled neck covered in green dots like it’s eyes, as well as a mohawk of frill on it’s head. Noticing Lance watching it, the creature screeched like nails on a chalkboard, frill opening and tongue lashing out like a whip. He swallowed, still clutching his bayard and turning his head back to focus on getting the  _ fuck out of here holy shit-- _

 

“Lance!” Pidge said suddenly.

 

“A little busy here, Pidgey!” He responded as the pair of them slid around the next corner at a full sprint, barely avoiding crashing into one another. The monster followed behind them with a sound like a clicking purr. It sounded like pure malice and hatred to Lance. 

 

“No, it’s good news I promise! You’re coming up to the docking bay now, if you can get in, I can lock the door from here,” they spoke quickly. “Not sure if it’ll hold whatever the fuck a Pukir is supposed to be, but that’ll give you guys time to get to the planet and grab Keith! We’ll be down in a few ticks for support!”

 

With those parting words, Pidge’s call went dead, leaving Lance and Hunk to give each other a quick glance and a nod, still running for their lives. 

 

As promised, the docking back slowly came into view. It’s garage like door shut tight. 

 

Lance did  _ not _ scream, “ _ Piiiidge! _ ” 

 

“I know-- I-- I’m working on it! … There, you should be good, go!”

 

The door began to rise from the floor sluggishly, and beside him, Hunk wheezed. “That’s.. As fast… as it goes?!” 

 

“We got this, buddy!” Lance yelled back, stopping and turning to the Pukir, lifting his bayard. “You go ahead, I’ll hold it off for you!  _ Pidge! _ Once Hunk is inside, start closing it!” 

 

“Wh-what? Lance!”

 

Lance got off a shot, hitting the Pukir straight in the face. It roared and stumbled to a stop, scales slightly singed where the blast had hit, but otherwise still very much alive. 

 

“I can’t hold it off for very long,” Lance stated calmly, lining up another shot. “And it’s too close, so one of us has to keep it busy. Once Hunk is safe, start closing the door.” He smirked, shooting again. 

 

“I’m gonna Indiana Jones this shit.”

 

He could hear the smirk in Pidge’s reply. “Oh,  _ hell _ yea. Let’s do this boys.”

 

Several meters behind him, Hunk stood at the rising bay door, nervously shifting on his feet as he watched Lance shoot the beast again, hitting it in one of it’s eyes this time.

 

The Pukir screeched in pain, frill laying down flat again. It rushed at Lance, tongue whipping out. Lance ducked under it, and the Pukir spun, catching Lance in the side with the spiked club of it’s tail, slamming him into the wall. 

 

Lance resisted all urges to vomit. His adrenaline had been keeping him going so far, but his breath was starting to come in a little ragged, and he could taste the metallic tang of blood on his tongue. Head pounding, he raised his bayard and shot. 

 

It just missed, but it clipped the beast’s ear and scared it enough for it to skitter backwards with a howl. 

 

“L-Lance!” Hunk called from somewhere behind him. “Lance I’m in!”

 

“Closing bay doors!” Pidge said. “Get going Lance!” 

 

He felt like he was spinning when he stood, jogging backwards a little before blasting the Pukir in the leg. As the beast fell down to one knee, Lance whipped around and sprinted as fast as he could toward the ever slimming opening to the docking bay. 

 

_ Oh fuck this is going to be close _ .

 

From a few paces behind him, Lance heard the Pukir’s screech of displeasure and the scrabbling of it’s claws as it tried to regain it’s lost footing. He didn’t stop to watch, barreling towards the closing door as fast as he could, quickly throwing his bayard towards it, following as it skittered underneath the opening and to Hunk’s feet. 

 

“C’mon, Lance!” Hunk was shouting, leaning down to have his face showing through the crack of door. 

 

Lance’s legs were  _ screaming _ , the muscles in them feeling more and more like taffy with every stride forward. He counted the paces in front of him, calculating when he’d need to jump into a slide. Just as he was about to drop to his hip with the momentum, something sharp and stinging jabbed at his ankle, and Lance fell forwards onto his stomach. 

 

He slid along the ground for a tick, ducking his head just as he reached the door, and safely made it through before the door shut noiselessly. The Pukir made no attempt at slowing down, ramming into the door at full speed and leaving a Pukir shaped dent jutting out from the side of it. 

 

From his helmet, Lance heard the sound of Pidge cheering. He was lifted into a bone crushing hug by Hunk, who quickly released him at Lance’s pained squeal. 

 

“Ahh I’m sorry dude, that was just so cool! Are you hurt?” Hunk examined him closely. “I mean, more than you already were…” he paused, and then pointed at Lance with a stern expression. “You’re definitely first in line for the healing pods when this is over, man, I’m serious.” 

 

Lance huffed out what he hoped sounded like a chuckle, but mostly sounded like a wheeze. “I think it… ah, got my ankle a little.. But..” He looked down to his ankle, rotating it with a hiss. There was a clean hole where the Pukir’s tongue stabbed through the armor there, piercing directly into Lance’s skin. It only bled a little, as if he’d been pricked with a needle, but the ever growing feeling of numbness that had his toes tingling told Lance that the goal behind the tongue whip wasn’t so much to maim as to incapacitate. 

 

Still hovering over him, Hunk eyed him worriedly. “Does it hurt?” 

 

With a deep inhale, Lance pushed himself to stand up, fighting the fatigue in his body. “Nahhh,” he shrugged his shoulders, grinning wide. “Must’ve just grazed me. I’m good, buddy.” He slapped a hand on Hunk’s shoulder, turning to what appeared to be a very long, stark white hallway exiting the ship and onto the planet. 

 

“Welp. That’s insidious looking.” 

 

Hunk followed his gaze with a gulp. “Yeeeaaaa, it’s been giving me ‘crazy insane murder hospital’ vibes and I really  _ don’t _ want to go down there…” He slumped his shoulders, defeated. “But it’s the only way out.” 

 

Lance’s heart skipped a bit. He was getting closer. He began to walk towards the hall, Hunk following behind a little less enthusiastically. And if Lance’s foot began to grow warm and numb as the paralytic venom worked it’s way through his bloodstream, he kept this to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im buying my bf xmas gifts and this is literally the first time ive ever had to do something like this and im actually freaking out bc how much is too much and what if he hates them help me


	19. Warmth At Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> instead of chopping it up into two more smaller parts, its just one long one. ur welcome.. also i got real excited when i finished this part so i have NOTHING written beyond this point as of rn, and with the holidays comin up it might be a little longer of a wait for the next bit..

Part 3

  
  


The hallway was something out of a very messed up version of Alice in Wonderland. It seemed to go on forever, and the weird part was how  _ quiet _ it was.

 

After going a few feet in, the sounds of the enraged Pukir behind them simply vanished, and even the ever present thrum of adrenaline that played in Lance’s ears had gone silent. He tapped his bayard every few steps or so, just to use the small sound to keep his ears from ringing in the stone cold silence. 

 

Beside him, Hunk was nervously looking out the windows, out into what they both guessed was the dissolving planet of Wes’Nul. Bits of the planet itself even sometimes floated by, gravity having simply given up on keeping it tethered to the core. 

 

Pidge was having a field day if their excited squeaks were anything to go by.

 

“ _ Shiro! _ This planet is amazing, whoever constructed these tunnels drove them right through the planet’s major tectonic plates, then connected them all into that giant central hub-- like the planet’s core! It must have taken…” There was the sound of a few buttons tapping, but before Pidge could calculate, Shiro cut in,

 

“Yea, we get it, Pidge. Must’ve taken a long time.” 

 

“And a  _ fuckton _ of skill--!”

 

“ _ Pidge. _ ” 

 

“Ah… sorry, Shiro.” 

 

Lance had hardly been paying attention, somehow his brain switching to autopilot mode as they made their way down the hallway. He distantly felt his head throb, and breathing was getting to be a little bit more of a challenge, plus he was losing feeling up to his knee now… 

 

_ Doesn’t matter _ . He kept going. Keith was at the end of this hallway and damn if Lance wasn’t about to burst in, save his ass, and kiss his stupid chinchilla face. Now or never, McClain. Like a concussion, some busted ribs, and a paralyzed leg were gonna stop him from finally telling Keith how he felt about him!

 

And if Keith didn’t return his feelings, oh well! Maybe if Lance said it out loud, it’ll take the giant weight off of his chest, and give him his focus back-- regardless if Keith felt the same way or not. 

 

_ But what if he doesn’t…  _  Lance grimaced. True, he hadn’t really thought up to that point but. This entire mission has ended up being a ‘fly by the seat of your pants’ sort of thing anyway, so he was content to burn that bridge when he got to it. Maybe. Let’s rescue Keith alive first, and see how it goes from there.

 

“Lance.” 

 

He hummed at Hunk, still moving forward. 

 

“You’re… limping.” 

 

Without meaning to, Lance barked out a near hysteric laugh. “I am!” He agreed, chuckling. “I’m limping. Look, we’re almost there.” 

 

The end of the hallway in sight, Lance cut off any of Hunk’s further observations about his less than perfect physical state by surging forward toward the door. He eyed the scanner for all of one second before blasting it with his bayard. 

 

Some sort of alarm began blaring on the other side, but the door remained shut tight. Granted it hadn’t been the best of plans, but to be perfectly honest, Lance was a little over today’s many near death experiences, and if just one thing, just  _ one thing _ , out of this entire mission could go  _ right _ for once--!

 

Lance opened his mouth, intent on cursing the door out, but a hand gently settled on his shoulder and guided him to the side.

 

Hunk raised his bayard, shrugging a little. 

 

“You should get behind me.”

 

Lance eyed his friend for a moment, then shrugged himself and did as he was asked. Hunk drew in a deep breath, hoisting his bayard into an optimal position, aiming it square at the door. 

 

Lance placed his hands over his ears, Hunk breathed, and then fired.

 

\--

  
  


Buzzing. Buzzing… or.. Or maybe ringing. Both.

 

Keith wasn’t sure what he was hearing exactly, only that it sounded a million miles away and completely underwater. 

 

He didn’t know where he was, either.

 

Some place dark. Cold. Though he wasn’t sure how he knew that it was cold, because he couldn’t exactly  _ feel _ … And minus the buzz-ringing, it was dead silent. 

 

Of course, it wasn’t totally safe. No, his mind replaying the witch’s altered memories over and over and over and over again made sure of that. It was slightly muted, however. The images all a little dim, thanks to whatever mental fortress Keith had hastily built around himself. But they were still there. 

 

Him killing Lance.

Lance killing him.

 

Every now and again, it liked to shake things up, and it’d be Shiro instead of Lance. And that hurt Keith in all new kinds of ways… ways he didn’t know could still feel pain, not after all this time. 

 

Keith felt himself shrink inward, and as he did, the memory staticked out of existence. He had thought he could come to terms with being Galran. Shiro may have… left him, but Lance wouldn’t have. And Lance could be pretty damn persuasive, Keith wouldn’t put it past him to get Shiro comfortable with it as well… 

And the team, well. They had all already moved past it. Even Allura and Coran, whose entire planet was obliterated by the very same species, they’d been understanding and kind. 

 

_ “Monster!” _

 

It was probably Shiro’s voice. Merely an echo that was caught by some unfelt wind, but it vanished before Keith could be sure. 

 

He did look pretty monster like now, didn’t he? Keith examined the claws that protruded past what his fingernails could have ever reached, how they curved more like an animal’s. The fur on his hand growing thicker as it trailed up his arms, how it felt less like hair on his head and more like some half-grown mane. His tail wrapped securely around his legs, twitching and tightening like a frightened snake. The ears and their largeness, and how no matter what, Keith couldn’t hide his emotions anymore, not with these satellites portraying his every thought… 

 

I mean, he definitely wasn’t  _ human _ . 

 

A sharp whistle tore through Keith’s ears, and he yelped, the unidentified place he was in beginning to shiver and unravel. The seams of it were bursting, and Keith was starting to feel the numbness in his bones retreating, uncovering the aching that had been present there.

 

_ Oh no _ .

 

The figures in the memories were getting clearer, the images sharper. He could make out the distinct facial features now, no longer blurred into something unrecognizable, but now given a name. Along with faces came their matching voices, but as the image of a bloodthirsty Keith opened his mouth to speak, the scene glitched and began to dissolve, and a new voice, one sounding much closer and louder began to yell.

 

“-eith! Help me-- him--” 

 

Keith flinched. It was Lance, it was Lance’s voice. What had the witch done to him now? Was he going to open his eyes and see Lance there, dead again? Would he be there laughing at how Keith feels for him again? Already he was feeling the slickness of the blood on his hands, Lance’s blood. 

His mind began hurriedly reconstructing his walls, but not before another voice peeked through, sounding just as frenzied as Lance’s had.

 

“Drui-- where’d it g--! Lan--!” 

 

Keith paused, poking out through the ripped open seams of his dark, safe place, curious. Had that been… Hunk? Hunk hadn’t appeared much in his nightmarish torture. He guest starred occasionally as a victim to Keith’s monstrous unraveling, or came to laugh at him for believing that he could ever truly be the friend of a Galra, but he’d never appeared with Lance before.. And never sounding so… scared.

 

From the opening came a flash of blue, and then a sharp, painful stinging across Keith’s face. Though he tried retreating backward, he was being yanked upward and through the seams, though he scrabbled desperately for them, the light itself rendering him blind until he was forced unceremoniously back into his conscious, aching body, still lying on the druid’s examination table. 

 

It took effort for Keith to open his eyes, his real eyes, and he at first only noticed how the MRI scanner machine had been clearly blasted all to hell, leaving it smoking and sparking as it died. He tried turning his head and was met with a wave of nausea, shutting his eyes again.

 

“Ah, hey, alright, easy does it…” 

 

Keith whined. How was this even fair… How was she  _ doing _ this… He felt hands grabbing at his face and Keith weakly shoved them away. It was Lance again, and another elaborate scene where his heart will be broken and stomped on was sure to follow. He felt a hesitant finger brush at his cheek, and he flinched away.

 

_ You’re not real. _

 

“...Keith? Bud?... C’mon, man… we gotta get you outta here, remember?” 

 

_ Not real. Just a hallucination.  _

 

He opened his eyes a crack, not even bothering to brace himself for whatever horrid dreamscape the druid had cooked up for him. Keith was tired. He was tired enough to get this painful experience over with, and with this acception, his eyes opened fully. And when they did, he saw the ocean.

 

“Hey…” Soft, warm breath grazing his cheeks. “Good morning, sleeping beauty. We gotta go.”

 

This Lance was different than the others before. This one held a deep tiredness in his gaze, and had sweat in his hair and on his face, along with a few small scrapes. And he held himself up almost as if a breath in his direction would knock him over, one arm shakily wrapped around his torso. Yet despite his injuries and fatigue, this Lance was  _ beaming _ at him. 

 

Keith’s heart stuttered. He watched this blue paladin, this familiar face and voice, turn his head into his helmet slightly, speaking into the comms.

 

“Pidge, can I get that ETA?” 

 

A response was given, not that Keith could hear it, and Lance’s expression became a grimace. 

 

“No…” He said quietly. “No, the druid is gone. She poofed away as soon as we got here.” Lance’s free hand reached idly for Keith’s head, and Keith jerked away from the touch, wincing at the ache of his body and the pounding in his skull. 

 

Though he looked at him sadly, Lance was still smiling. “Yea, we got him, Shiro.” 

 

Again, Keith felt his heart skip a beat. The illusions before were nothing like this, there were no surprise rescue missions; and as far back as Keith could remember, none of the fake paladins had even spoken to each other, they only ever spoke to him… 

 

“How’s he doing?” Another, warmer and deeper, voice asked softly from outside Keith’s periphery. Lance glanced up toward the speaker, mouth in a tight line and giving a subtle shake of his head.

 

“Not great, I don’t think… we need to--” he lifted his leg to take a step forward and immediately crumpled under his own weight, falling onto his side with a tiny yelp. His legs had gone still, though the rest of him still shook as he pushed his arms against the ground, fighting the gravity that was keeping him there. 

 

“Lance!” And Hunk appeared, looking just as haggard but considerably in better condition, kneeling down next to his friend. 

 

Lance groaned. “Ugh, yea…” He lifted his head, catching Keith’s eyes, before smirking and dropping it again. “Yea, I’m out, man. That jurassic nightmare got me good.” 

 

Hunk nodded, silent, before turning to Keith and managing a small smile. He lifted his hand in a tiny, almost shy wave. 

 

“Hey, buddy. Shiro and Pidge are on their way. I’m glad you’re okay, we’re gonna get you out of here, cool?” 

 

Keith stared, mute. He could smell them from where he was still curled on the examination table, they smelled like sweat and blood and whatever the residue their blasters leave behind. His ears were picking up their adrenaline fueled heartbeats, quick and steady thumps keeping them alert, though Lance’s was starting to slow to a more relaxed pace as he laid on the floor, unmoving. 

 

They looked… real. Keith slowly put a hand to his hair and harshly tugged at it, the pain assuring him that at least  _ he _ was corporeal. 

 

Hunk was watching him with a guarded expression, before he nodded to himself and turned his full body to Keith. 

 

“You don’t think this is real, huh? ...Gosh, what’d they do to you..” He lifted his hand up, frowning when Keith winced, but edging it closer to him, palm up as if Hunk was offering him to take it. 

 

“It’s real, Keith. We’re really here.” 

 

Keith’s eyes narrowed, and they flooded over without his permission. How could he be sure? How did he know this wasn’t just another fucked up hallucination, and he’d wake up to the druid laughing in his face? He shook his head, tucking his arms into his chest, curling up tighter. He couldn’t know, he had to stay safe.

 

“...Keith..” Lance croaked out, and Hunk hurriedly moved to prop his friend up against him. Keith noticed how Lance had gone terribly slack, the arm once holding onto his ribs rather tightly now laying ineffectively in his lap, his head only held up by Hunk’s shoulder as he blinked dazedly at where Keith lay. 

 

“This is… not the best time, and I’m… god, I’m exhausted and I think I’m about to pass out, but,” he paused, swallowing thickly and with a little difficulty it seemed. “But, before that.. Before I do that, I really can’t wait any longer in telling you this…” A wobbly grin stretched across his face, and it was so earnest and vulnerable looking that Keith jolted at the sight of it.

 

_ Not… not real..! _

 

“You’re… a hothead…” 

 

Keith scrunched his nose and frowned, and Lance giggled at that. “Let me finish… you’re a hothead.. You’re unpredictable and wild and so, so determined… I admire that about you. You don’t second guess yourself, and you’re always… always so.. So confident.” He blinked slowly, fighting off unconsciousness. “I’ve… I think I’ve always kinda.. Looked up to you, even back… back on Earth. 

And… I never thought.. I’d get you to  _ notice  _ me, let alone fight alongside you-- y-you! The prodigy pilot with the perf.. Perfect sim scores…”

 

Keith didn’t notice he’d begun to unravel from his self made cocoon until he was halfway to sitting upright, clinging to every word Lance was saying and racking his brain wondering if the druid could’ve known about his test scores, when he himself couldn’t even remember them. He knew he was hoping, and he knew that hoping was stupid, and that when this dream ended and blew up in his face, he’d hate himself even more than he ever did before, and… and yet… Keith hoped, still.

 

Lance smacked his lips, struggling to sound awake, “And man… the way you ignored everybody? Sat by yourself all the time? ..I thought you were a dick at first, if I’m bein’ honest…” He was starting to slur a bit, Hunk carefully re-adjusting him to be sitting straighter. “But… when I saw you again… on that bike, in the desert..” He grinned another shaky grin. “Savin’ Shiro together is probably my favorite memory… I could.. I could recognize that mullet anywhere…

An..an’way, Keith, I’m… I’m  _ tryin’ _ to say, I.. I’ve liked you for a loooong time, like. Like like you? Like as in I gotta crush on you n stuff…” His eyelids were drooping. “Gotta.. Gotta crush on… I love ‘im.. An’ ‘is.. Stupid hair…” 

 

Keith was sitting up fully now, staring at these two paladins, wide eyed and red faced. He watched as Lance beamed at him again, and open his mouth to only make warbled cooing sounds. Keith felt his fur puff up, completely embarrassed and convinced that this was reality, and this drooling, near comatose boy in front of him was a beautiful sight to behold. 

 

_ There’s no way this  _ can’t _ be real _ , he was convincing his less than sure heart.  _ Only the real Lance would sound this stupid. _

 

Hunk brushed a hand across Lance’s forehead. “Okay, buddy, I think he gets it. You should rest now.” 

 

Lance smiled, eyes half lidded and head lolling off Hunk’s shoulder. “Mmm.. did I do good?”

 

“Wellll,” Hunk shrugged with his other shoulder. “You didn’t do…  _ bad _ .” He paused for a moment. “Okay, it was bad, but it wasn’t like  _ super  _ bad.” 

 

Lance closed his eyes with a tired ‘yeeeey,’ and slumped against Hunk, unconscious at last, his relaxed face finally matching the rest of his exhausted body. 

 

Keith was shivering, somehow both convinced and cautious, glancing around the druid’s lab, ready for her to admit her trick and come out of hiding. 

 

“Hu-Hunk?” His voice was shit, his throat dry and tight as he attempted to keep himself together.

 

At his name, Hunk looked to him with a gentle expression, the epitome of calm. Somehow, this was comforting, and Keith felt his shoulders slowly begin to lose their tension. 

 

“Yea, Keith. It’s me.” He very carefully maneuvered Lance to be laying on the floor, and slowly stood, watching Keith as if he were a frightened animal. A hand was once more held out to him. “...Ya wanna… get off that thing?” 

 

Keith eyed him, and then his hand, and then to the sleeping Lance on the floor. Something in his chest cracked, and the hesitation in his mind wavered, and Keith very tearfully looked back to Hunk’s kind face, and with a shaking reach, took his hand, and felt something that he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

 

Warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're almost finished with this thing! im thinking one more chapter and then an epilogue, how bout u guys? ; ~; has it been enjoyable so far? i didnt get boring did i? 
> 
> granted its not 49 chapters long, but it's still good right? if i ever figure out how to do one shots, i could do some of those based on this...
> 
> tell me ur guys' thoughts on any of this, also let me know like ur honest opinions-- even if they upset me i wanna know, bc better be told the sad truth than a pretty lie, right?
> 
> ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
> 
> to talk to me more bout this hmu at clefairysoup.tumblr.com


	20. Lance is Very Acquainted With the Cryopod, Huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey friends this is only PART of the chapter, but its been a long time since i last updated, and i dont wanna abandon this so close to the finish, so here's the first part of the chapter-- the second part i will add on later and delete this note, so look out for that

Lance fell into a dreamless, fitful slumber at the hands of the cryopod. The familiarity of it’s chilly, blissful emptiness not as comforting as it should have been. Time didn’t exist in the pods, yet Lance felt like he was drowning in memories that felt.. So old.

 

He’d woken up for a moment after his drunken confession, laying brokenly on the floor of the green lion with someone holding his head in their lap. His chest was rattling with every shallow breath, and he couldn’t move his legs… or his hands. Panic gripped him then, but before he could even wrench out a cry, he heard a voice. Though Lance couldn’t place it, it sent a small tendril of warmth through him. The sensation of fingers gently carding through his hair and the shushing when he grimaced in pain were enough to soothe Lance back into unconsciousness. 

 

The second time he  _ jolted  _ awake, his adrenaline screaming at him and flinging his whole body upright. There was a deep setting  _ ice _ rapidly coursing through every vein in his body, freezing him so bad that it was  _ burning _ . He vaguely recalls someone screaming, as if their voice was tearing through their throat, and he remembered hands trying to push him down again. Then someone had shouted his name and the screaming turned into crying and then it was black once more.

 

He was pretty certain the screaming had been him.

 

The third and final time Lance gained a peek of awakeness, Hunk had finished changing him into a pod suit, his eyes a little wet and expression worrisome. Lance was almost sure he said something, because Hunk had suddenly spun to face him, a bright smile breaking through the already falling tears. Then he was being lifted, and the pain pushed him back into darkness again.

 

And he floated there, unfeeling and asleep, his mind not quite dreaming and his body slowly healing, for… for awhile. 

 

When the icy fluid began to drain and Lance once again was set on his feet within the pod, along with his first breath came the thought, “how long has it been?”

 

The hiss of the opening doors was all the warning he had before being pushed out into the open air, his brain not yet caught up with his body, so he fell forward rather than step out gracefully. 

 

And he wasn’t caught.

 

He landed on something though, and that something let out a small string of curses before going quiet. Lance was more than content to lie still on whoever it was, their body warmth an enticing comfort to his shivering form. 

 

The person in question though was less into the idea.

 

“Lance. Get your frozen ass off of me before I shove it off.” 

 

He groaned, keeping his eyes shut and stubbornly pushing as much of his weight down that he could. He could totally stand, the feeling having fully returned to his legs and feet, but he didn’t want to.

They squeaked in surprise, and cursed again, voice straining in effort as two small hands roughly began shoving him off and away.

 

Lance sighed, sitting up and rubbing at his face before turning to the puffed up Pidge beside him, who despite their tone was smiling. They pointed to their laptop which sat in front of them.

 

“I was just monitoring your recovery. The pod healed all the breaks and fractures, and it should have extracted the paralytic that was in your system, but it might take a bit before your muscles feel 100% again, so, maybe take it easy.” They looked off to the side, face going a bit pink. “You scared us, yknow? ...Glad you’re okay.” 

 

Lance smirked a bit, clearing his throat. His voice came out a little raspy anyway, “Thanks, Pidge. Sorry for the scare, my Indiana Jones-ing needs a little work.” 

 

Pidge returned their attention to their laptop with a small chuckle. “Clearly.”

Lance glanced at the x-ray image of his body on the screen and the data scrolling along beside it as the doors to the medbay swished open.

 

“Oh, Lance!” Allura hurried inside, Shiro, Hunk, and Coran trailing just as quickly behind her. She stopped in front of the pod he’d come from, pulling up the records and studying them with a harsh expression. 

 

She spoke quickly, “I’m sure Pidge has told you already, but the venom of the Pukir has been extracted with some slight side effects. It will fade in time, but please be very careful with yourself and avoid strenuous activity.” She swiped and the screen disappeared. With a spin she clapped her hands in front of her face and beamed. “We’re so happy you’re okay!”

 

Lance opened his mouth to respond, maybe throw in some flirty suggestive eyebrow waggles, but Coran cut him off before he could even start.

 

“Lance, my boy!” He cried, looking equally parts thrilled and a sort of horrified/impressed. Horrimpressed. “You were struck with the venomous tongue whip of the endangered Pukir-- the venom said to down even the largest Hippogrixum, the legendary Poison Rain that ended the Fifteen Nundrums War! And you  _ fought  _ its effects and even battled with the Pukir after you had been struck!” Coran clapped his hands onto Lance’s shoulders, pulling him to his feet and into a very forceful hug. “Brilliant! Truly!” He held him out at arms length again, pinching at his arms and squinting at him inquisitively. “How remarkable, perhaps your human genealogy holds the secret to--” 

 

Allura tugged on the ear of her advisor, frowning. “Coran, please. Now is not the time for studying the biology of humans.” 

 

Lance gulped. Despite the reprimand, she sure sounded eager to give it a try, though…

 

A strong, comfortable pair of arms lifted him off the ground with a tight squeeze, and Lance made a dramatic wheezing sound through his smile. Hunk only hugged him harder though,sort of rocking his body as he did. 

 

“Dude--”

 

Lance cut him off. “I know, I  _ knoooww _ , okay I’m sorry I scared you guys, I’m not gonna pull any super dope, but life endangering skill tactics to accomplish missions anymore. I only did it this time because it was Keith and really, let’s be honest, the Indiana Jones thing was kind of awes--” 

 

Shiro cleared his throat with a pointed look. Lance swallowed, looking down.

 

“Uh, right. I’m sorry.”

 

Gently set to his feet again, Lance couldn’t hide how his eyes were searching the room. He turned to Shiro, a question on the tip of his tongue, but Shiro stopped him with the raise of a hand. 

 

“Keith’s in your room. You were out for a couple of days, and after Coran gave him a once over, he locked himself in there.” Pink, he rubbed at his neck. “I… I dunno what exactly you said to him, Lance, but Hunk tells me you guys are an item now so, uh..” He pointed at Lance with his prosthetic hand, still looking way too embarrassed to be even vaguely threatening. “Um.. no.. funny business?”

 

Lance waved him off, more interested in the fact that Keith was in his room  _ alive _ and  _ breathing _ . Not that he’d have done any ‘funny business’ type things anyway. Sure he liked to flirt and talk a big game but truly he was more excited with the idea that maybe Keith purrs when you scratch behind those huge chinchilla ears, or maybe he wags his tail when he gets angry like a cat. The possibilities were endless and infinitely more intriguing than  _ anything _ Shiro had been insinuating.

 

He’d moved to leave when Allura placed a gentle hand on his wrist, effectively stopping him. 

 

“There’s one more thing. One of the prisoners we rescued, they have apparently bonded with Keith during his time there and, well, currently only they have been given permission to see him.” She twists her fingers in one of the long, stray locks of white hair at her shoulder, biting her lip nervously. “He’s… Keith is.. Recovering, and we’ve all decided to give him the space he needs until he’s ready to join us again… However, Tari’im did mention that Keith has been asking for you, so we believe it might be alright for you to see him… Just… be very careful, Lance. We don’t know what was done to him, so please. Be gentle.”

 

Lance nodded solemnly, before giving the princess a reassuring soft grin. “Of course, princess.” And with that, Lance walked calmly out of the med bay, bursting into a sprint in the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im at froggytoes.tumblr.com now? 
> 
> so among the personal nonsense, i will post updates on my writing progress and all that if anyone wants it


	21. Keith's Laugh and How Lance Falls So, So Deep ALTERNATIVELY: Admissions and Epilogues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so i was thinking, why add on to the last chapter a little bit at a time when i could just bang out the whole thing in one big NEW chapter and call it a happy ending :D i had been considering doing an epilogue, one including dealing with the ptsd keith has as well as a patch up with shiro but.
> 
> i'll be frank with you. my passion for this project hasn't been present for awhile, and i've recently tried creating my own character and writing my own works with them. i sorta branched out a bit and forgot what made me wanna write this whole thing to begin with, so im sorry if that shows which im sure it does. 
> 
> this is the last chapter, and hey 21 is my favorite number, so i feel like this is a good sign for me.
> 
> thank u to everyone who read this, even after i lost the passion for it. your kudos and comments mean the absolute world to me and im so grateful for the positive feedback. yall are lovely<3
> 
> i'll link my tumblr in the end notes again if u wanna keep up with me, maybe see my original stuff or just be a pal. idk if i'll write another klance fic again, but you guys will be first to know if i do!
> 
> <3 cee

The walk through the castle was a little more anxiety inducing than Lance was comfortable with. Sure, he was vaguely aware that before he blacked out he did gush out a confession, but the details were still a tad fuzzy, and Lance was hoping and praying to every listening celestial being that he didn’t  _ totally _ make a huge idiot of himself. 

 

His legs felt relatively fine, thankfully, every other step or so he might fumble a bit or his toes might go suddenly cold, but Allura and Pidge mentioned there would be side effects as the venom slowly wore off. Lance was placing a hand on the wall to steady himself when a figure appeared in front of him. 

 

“Ah, are you the blue paladin?” The alien asked, their four hands all pairing in a hopeful clasp. They were wearing some old Altean style clothes-- probably Allura’s hand me downs-- and their armored skin reminded Lance of armadillos from Earth. 

 

He couldn’t decide which of the six foggy eyes to look at, but stuttered out, “Uh-- yes.. I’m Lance.” 

 

The alien in front of him nodded, their folded ears twitching and the lengthy tail behind them swishing in what Lance hoped was a sign of friendliness. 

 

“Yes!” They squealed. “I have heard much of you from Keith. I am Tari’im!” A pair of hands shot out and snatched up one of Lance’s own, shaking it fervently. “It is an honor to meet you, blue paladin of Voltron and Lance!” 

 

The hand shaking became a full body jostling, making him more than a little dizzy. Once freed, Lance smoothed down his frazzled nerves, putting on his best grin. “Well, it’s nice to meet you too. Keith talks about me?” 

 

Ooh, yikes. Okay maybe he was still slightly frazzled.

 

Tari’im smiled gently. “Oh, yes.” They placed two hands on their cheeks, eyes closing as if daydreaming something blissful. “He speaks of you as any Bonded would speak of their Pair..” They sighed in a dreamy fashion, and then clapped their free pair of hands. 

 

“And also as one would a very important friend and team member!” 

 

Lance’s stomach fluttered with a fresh flock of butterflies and warmth, and it trickled up into his cheeks. He nervously shuffled his feet, effectively shocked into flustered silence. Keith talks about him… He mentioned him to an alien… Lance’s mouth felt dry, suddenly.

 

Tari’im’s ears flicked, and they lowered their hands with a soft expression. “Oh. I’ve made you nervous, I’m sorry…” They played with the hem of their silky shirt, quiet for a moment, and then:

 

“He really wants to see you, yknow.”

 

Lance looked up, and Tari’im continued. “I think our captors played tricks on his mind, giving him life-like nightmares and hallucinations of terrible things. He doesn’t tell me details, and it’s not my place to pry for them.” They lifted their head, as if trying to look in Lance’s direction. “I believe they are mostly about you, and I’ve comforted him as much as a friend can I suppose…”

 

A few steps brought Tari’im right to Lance, and they gingerly took his hand. “But I think he needs you now.” 

 

That was all they had to say. 

 

Being helped to his own room was a small blow to his pride, but Lance squashed it down with the thought that he was about to see Keith again. His anxieties welled up once more, only partly sated with Tari’im’s knowing squeeze, and just outside of his door, Lance was starting to feel extraordinarily antsy.

 

What if he wasn’t into him like that? What if this is all leading up to a really awkward let down, and Keith never thought of Lance as anything other than a friend and teammate? 

 

His heart was stuttering, and he held on desperately to memories that could prove the contrary, which only served to feed into his doubt. 

 

_ Coulda changed his mind…  _

_ He only thought you were joking, he was only playing along... _

 

“Don’t be afraid,” Tari’im whispered, squeezing his hand again. Lance felt a small pang of appreciation for this alien he’d only just met, glad that if Hunk wasn’t around to be a comfort right now, at least they were.

 

With a small smile, they lifted a fist and knocked. 

 

A length of silence, and then: “What?”

 

Lance’s throat felt tight. Keith’s voice sounded rough, like he hadn’t been sleeping, or drinking. Or screaming. 

 

Tari’im called back, voice light, “It is me! It has appeared that the blue paladin--  _ Lance  _ has awoken from his healing sleep, and he’s here with me now!” 

 

After a few ticks of quiet, Lance could hear the shuffling of limbs and soft, padded footsteps edging closer to the door. He could practically see him; probably covered in his bedsheets, one ear perked and close to the seam of the door, listening probably for some proof of Lance’s presence.

 

He couldn’t help but grin, his nerves all but forgotten. Only Keith would think of this being a trick of some sort.

 

So, naturally, Lance leaned close to the door, lips nearly touching it, and shouted as loud as he could.

 

There was a sharp curse, and a loud thump, and then another string of colorful cursing. 

 

“ _ Lance! _ ” 

“Yea, my dude!” He drummed out a beat on the door, laughing. “Lemme in, it’s my room anyways, stop being weird about it!” 

 

“...Is it just Tari’im that’s with you?” 

 

Lance shared a look with the mentioned alien, who was only smiling in a vacant but genuinely sweet way. 

 

“Uh.. yes?” 

 

The door swished open part way, Keith peeking through the crack. Lance didn’t even know the doors had a ‘partly open’ setting. 

 

Tari’im tilted their head. “Would you like me to enter with Lance? Or would you like to be alone?” It was a very considerate question, though suddenly the idea of being  _ alone _ with Keith was causing jolts to run up Lance’s spine.

 

Keith’s eyes fell to the floor, and he mumbled, “‘lone, please.”

 

Lance gulped.  _ Of course. _ ..

 

“Of course!” Tari’im patted Lance on the back encouragingly. “I will be in my guest quarters, or perhaps in the dining area… the yellow pala--  _ Hunk _ \-- has been teaching me about Earthly cuisine. It’s most interesting!” They waved, turning to walk down the hall again, leaving Lance standing nervously outside of his own room. 

 

Only when the alien was out of sight did the door open fully, Keith still staring intensely at the ground. 

 

Lance stepped past him, stopping beside the bed. He’d meant to sit on it, but stopped, eyes wide. The sheets were all rumpled, the pillows clearly slept on, but none of this was near as surprising as the sight of his own jacket dangling off the edge, like a comfort blanket.

 

Quick as a flash, Keith was in front of him, blocking his view and looking cutely sheepish. 

 

He fixed his gaze into a glare, almost daring Lance to say something. The latter merely held up his hands in a defensive  _ ‘I wasn’t gonna say anything’ _ way, and snagged the jacket from where it lay. 

 

“So you’re all holed up in my room, huh?” Lance kept his voice light, not judging. “Don’t guess Shiro’s loving that.”

 

Keith half shrugged, the t-shirt he was wearing nearly falling off one shoulder from the movement. 

 

...Wait.

 

“Is that my shirt?” 

 

Lance had been expecting a flustered threat or jumpy denial, but Keith simply looked down at himself and then up again, looking right at Lance, asking almost softly, 

 

“Oh.. Is that okay?” 

 

A metaphorical arrow through Lance’s heart.

 

He nearly choked, waving a hand, “N-No! No, it’s fine! It’s… it’s fine.” He forced an embarrassed laugh, hands fidgeting with his jacket. “Just, ahh… cute… I guess?” 

 

Keith smiled, cheeks maybe a little pinker than before, relaxing a bit. “Oh, good. Yea, I uh. I was really worried about you, so I came here as soon as you were in the pod. I… didn’t really bring anything like clothes and whatever, so..”

Lance nodded, then asked, “Why’d you come here, though? Last time I was in the pods, you were waiting right outside.”

 

At this, Keith definitely slouched a little guiltily, ears flopping over. “Uh.. y-yea, I know, but um.” He reached up and touched his nose. “It… smells better… in here.”

 

He dropped his hand, arms crossing and he frowned. “And no one around to ask…  _ stupid _ questions.” 

 

_ Ahh.. _ Lance could only imagine the chaos that ensued the minute Keith was alone with everyone else. It must’ve been extremely overwhelming, if Lance knew anything about his team, which he did. 

 

“Ah, gotcha,” he said, turning to his closet to grab a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. “Well, as curious as I am, I promise not to ask any stupid questions… Except, wait, just one; who’s Tari’im?”

 

Keith wordlessly turned his back as Lance began to change out of the pod suit, shrugging. 

 

“Another prisoner, no home planet to return to and didn’t really know where to go.”

 

Lance pulled the shirt over his head. “They seem like a really good friend.”

 

He heard Keith chuckle a little. “Yea, they are.”

 

Keith didn’t elaborate, and as promised, Lance didn’t push. Once out of the, to be fair,  _ rank _ pod suit, Lance turned around again, smiling softly at the sight of Keith still facing away from him. The twitching of his ears meant he could  _ hear _ Lance moving at least, but that didn’t stop him from getting close enough to wrap his arms around him. 

 

Keith jumped a little at the contact, but leaned into it.

 

“Sorry, is this okay?” Lance propped his chin on Keith’s shoulder. “Kinda been dying to do this since I woke up…”

 

“It’s fine.” Keith sounded  _ choked _ , which made Lance laugh. 

 

They stood in a silent embrace for a moment, before Lance couldn’t take it anymore.

 

“And.. and look, I  _ vaguely _ recall that I may have… uhhh… spilled my sappy guts to you? I’m not sure how much of that  _ you _ remember--”

 

“Oh all of it.”

“-- _ But anyways..  _ Uh.. yea that wasn’t like. Fatigue induced or anything, y’know. I really do.. Um…”

 

_ Fuck this is harder sober. _ His ears were burning, and thank quiznak Keith was turned around right now otherwise he’d get full view of Lobster Skin Lance and frankly Lance wasn’t sure if he could survive that kind of embarrassment. Keith would definitely hold it over his head forever.

 

“...Y’know,” Keith said softly, head turning slightly but not fully around, just enough for Lance to catch a glimpse at Keith’s truly wicked expression. “I can’t see your face. But I can hear your heartbeat. You’re freaking out, aren’t you?”

 

Lance stuttered, yanking his arms away and letting Keith turn to face him, fidgeting with his hands nervously and refusing all eye contact. 

 

“W-well I-- I mean, yea! I-I’ve never actually.. Um.. fuck-- I don’t..”

 

“Hey,” Keith reached for him, but stopped halfway, hand hovering in the space Lance put between them. “I was just joking, I’m sorry… It’s.. It’s kind of strange to see you so flustered, considering you’re such a flirt.”

 

Throwing up his arms, Lance near-shouted, “Y-Yea! I don’t know either, okay! You’re just--!” He whipped his hands around in front of him, gesturing to Keith. “I-I’ve never  _ liked _ anyone like-- like this before! And yea I guess I flirt with people but I don’t actually have- have..  _ Feelings _ .. For any of them…” 

 

Outburst over, he crossed his arms and hunched his shoulders, still not looking at Keith.  _ God.. _ Of all the ways he expected this reunion to go, him being flustered out of his mind and sticking his foot in his mouth wasn’t one of them. (It was more of a worst case scenario option, which.. This has turned out to be.)

 

Across from him, Keith was grinning. Not sinisterly like before, but more amused and pleased. 

 

“Are you admitting you never had a crush on Allura?”

 

Lance  _ pfft _ ’d. “Even I can admit that she’s way out of my league, and anyway it’s not like I meant to flirt with her.” He still wasn’t looking at Keith. “...It’s kinda like my defense mechanism in social situations..”

 

The next thirty seconds of silence was Lance’s own personal nightmare, but the worst part was at the end when Keith began to giggle to himself. The laughter was spilling out of him, small chuckles turned to gut clenching heaving, all while Lance burned bright scarlet.

 

He tried to be angry, but the sight of pure  _ glee _ coloring Keith’s cheeks with a blush, bringing tears of  _ joy _ to his eyes so much that he hand to cover his face with his hands. He’d nearly doubled over himself in laughter, his hair and ears falling forward and slightly obscuring his face. And the  _ sound _ …

Lance tried to feel angry for being laughed at. But he couldn’t. Not with a sight like that.

 

Eventually, he was laughing too. 

 

Afterwards, Keith confessed that he thought Lance was just a player. Lance took mock offense, to which Keith also laughed at, smiling so genuinely that it had Lance’s heart fluttering.

 

They spent the next few hours just talking, sitting on opposite ends of the bed and letting out things they’d left unsaid for too long. The capture was drudged up of course, and Keith almost closed himself off, but slowly told Lance about the hallucinations and the dreams. The horrible visions that were the subjects of his haunting nightmares. Lance held his hand, and they didn’t even noticed how close they’d gotten until he did, which made Lance blush brightly and Keith stifle a snicker. 

 

The night dragged on, and the pair of them had since laid back next to one another, hands still clasped together as the ship lights began to dim to signal their Earthly resting period. 

 

Lance was half asleep, chest too warm and fluffy to remain awake any longer, when he heard Keith roll over beside him.

 

“...Lance?” 

 

He hummed, the softness of his voice only pulling him deeper into sleep.

 

Keith’s breath tickled the shell of Lance’s ear as he whispered,

 

“..Thank you for saving me.”

 

There was a small peck on Lance’s cheek, but before he could determine if it’d been a kiss, he was asleep, something soft and gentle growing in his chest and a warm body pressed to his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> froggytoes.tumblr.com


End file.
